I Hate my Own Mother

I respect where you are coming from.

My mother essentially should not have had children, and she wasn't pleasant to me and I was largely neglected.

It was a poor relationship (she died last year). There is a big taboo about not loving you mother (in particular) and I know it can be difficult.

The only thing that I would politely suggest is that it might be good for you if you moved slowly to the position of just being sad or a little angry about it, rather than an active hatred. It is not that she doesn't necessarily deserve it, but that there is a price to pay for letting someone live rent-free in your head.

 

Can you explain why you hate her? Or is that too personal..
I used to hate my father for never being there in my life. But at 22, I've learned to forgive him.

 

A lot of people won't understand you and say stuff like "but she's your mother you gotta love her" or "give her another chance". My father is a narcissistic and I don't like him, idc if it's family his actions drove me away even though I gave him chance after chance.

 

One day she'll be dead and you'll be mad at yourself for holding a grudge. Now is the time to build a new/better/stronger relationship with her. Nobody's perfect. You only get one mother and she is the reason you're alive.

 

Well, my father screwed my family over, a lot, and I still love him personally...

 

i dunno what she did for you to hate her. she gave you life. btw i had people who hurt me and the only thing that can be helpful is to forgive. Forgiveness frees you and allows to move forward otherwise you get stuck. hatred won't help you just make you bitter

 

I am a mother, and I let my children down in many, and varied, ways. But I love them fiercely, and I show that fierce love in many, varied ways, too.

Someone here wrote something beautiful - I'm not sure if it was a quote and I really have no hope of attributing it correctly, so apologies.., but it was;

"When the adult in you, can forgive the child in your parents, you will have peace."

I'm sorry your mum wasn't great, and that she has hurt you so badly. Parenting is hard, you might know that already.

Thanks for sharing your hurt here - no judgement from me, only love.

 

You said it.

 

I love you too son.

 

Your not my father nor my mother! I don't know you!