Why do I feel like shit today?

I can't seem to understand why i feel like shit today because of what I saw yesterday. I was watching a movie yesterday and the movie had several sex scenes in it which I looked away from because of the oath of the nofap. Today ive officially gone 71 days without pmo and I have improved somewhat. However, for some reason I can't seem to understand why I feel like shit. I didn't seek it I didn't pmo or I didn't try to edge to get a rush from it I haven't. I'll admit this one time I saw a picture of a pornstar on YouTube once I stared for a little bit scrolled down looked again but I didn't seek it I didn't act on it or commit pmo. So I'm starting to believe my brain is trying to trick me because I have a tendency to beat myself up when I fail at something. I feel like I'm trying to make myself feel guilty for this so I can relapse all over again. I won't though. I haven't come this far to just give up now. I know I have to be patient because I poisoned myself with porn for years since puberty so I'm probably gonna have to be one of those people that takes longer to heal but I'm really trying I'm really trying I'm tired of fake sex I want the real thing with a real woman until then I fought on.

 

Can I be completely honest with you? The reason I started nofap was because I honestly thought I was fucking crazy. In the beginning of the year I was driving when I thought I ran someone over I didn't because I turned while she waited on the sidewalk. I had done that turn millions of times on my way home from school but for some reason I kept thinking about it and thinking about it and eventually it got worse because a couple weeks later I took a stop sign and I took it be cause I blacked out thinking about the first incident and my anxiety got a whole lot worse because I kept thinking all these scenarios in my head and it got so bad eventually I got baker acted for 3 days. All this started when I started nofap i was around day 3 when it all started. I had tried nofap before and I usually made it a week more or less before I relapsed but this time idk wat happened anxiety just completely crippled me. I've gotten better I'm not scared of being in a car anymore more or less I used to get scared when I looked away for a second because I would think something bad happened when I looked away but thats dwindled somewhat. I'm just trying to stay strong and recover from the damage porn has done to me.

 

I don't think I have ocd tbh I have a friend of mine who has ocd and the way he described it doesn't sound like what I have. When I started I had really bad anxiety and I found myself crying a lot but I've gotten better these thoughts I have don't bother me as much as they used to I've actually had days where I didnt think about those things but its still too early to tell i guess I can only continue with nofap and see for myself the outcome. All I know is that in the beginning it was terrible. To counter it I guess I fapped to take the edge off and now I rarely think about it it's only today that I feel bad I guess