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I'm a Christian and I Hate Evangelism

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. I would consider myself to be a Christian and I just hate evangelism.

    I really think the teaching I had growing up about evangelism and non-Christians contributed to my social awkwardness. Ok I went to school but at age 13 I was taken out and homeschooled. Then at 18 I went to college and I kept to myself because of what I was taught and thought about non-believers.

    I thought of all non-believers as being very dangerous. It didn't matter if they were atheists, agnostics, Muslims, Hindus whatever if they didn't believe in my God they were like monsters who were out to destroy me.

    I would read passages in scripture like 2 Corinthians 6:14-17 which reads:

    Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

    ‘I will live with them
    and walk among them,
    and I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.’
    Therefore,

    ‘Come out from them
    and be separate,
    says the Lord.
    Touch no unclean thing,
    and I will receive you.’

    I think back then if I had come across NoFap I would have thought that it was evil because it was created by an atheists and it had Muslims, atheists, agnostics and Buddhists using it. I would of probably thought it had been created to turn all believers into atheists. That was how I thought back then. I was so suspicious of people who weren't Christians.

    I kept to myself in college and at work. I didn't want to be friends with non-believers. But then in church I would hear about evangelism. I would be made to feel guilty for not evangelising. But the ironic thing was the that the whole reason why I wasn't evangelising was because I was scared, and I was scared due to what I had been taught about those who didn't believe. But in countless church services I would have to sit through something I would call evangelism shaming. I would feel utterly useless as a Christian and as a human being.

    I brought this shame over from teens to my 20's. I hid my faith due to fear and felt guilt and shame for hiding my faith. I went to a church that at times could be very self-righteous towards non-believers. I've mentioned this before but one time a leader in the church was talking about this playboy model who had died. He seemed to think it was really funny that she was in hell. This particular leader in the church seemed to love to teach about hell. He would share stories of people who had visited hell and we had to to sit through a number of teachings that he gave about hell. I know some members were thinking about not going to the church when he did this but that didn't stop him. He had no problem with telling non-believers that they were going to hell if they didn't become Christians. In the church there was great pressure to hand out tracks and evangelise, I didn't want to but I felt pressurising to take part. I remember cringing when I read one of the tracks because it said that the person was going to hell if they didn't become a Christian and their blood wasn't on my hands since I had given them the track. Fortunately the church stopped handing out those tracks and started handing out more positive, less scary ones but even then I felt uncomfortable taking part in it. I also felt great guilt in not wanting to take part. To me it didn't seem right to try to enforce my beliefs on someone else.


    I know of Christians who befriend non-Christians just so they can get them to become Christians. For some if a non-believers were to never become a Christian they would end their friendship with them. I think that terrible. It's kind of like someone who's in relationship with someone only because the person is rich or sexy.

    Eventually I left the church. I stayed with the church for so long because despite their attitude towards hell they were nice people. Very generous and I had a lot of support from one leader in the church when I felt suicidal due to PMO. I told him about my struggles with PMO and he didn't judge me and did his best to help me and to this day he still been a great friend to me despite me leaving the church and doubting my faith. So I don't want people to think the church I was in was nothing but bad.

    Still I'm glad I left, I feel more freer and have less guilt.

    The teaching of hell just doesn't sit well with me. The idea you can be a good person and still go to hell doesn't seem right. When I say a good person I don't mean a perfect person because no one's perfect, but someone who tries to do the right moral thing yet still some people seem to think such people will go to hell if they don't get Christianity. I like to think God would give such people the benefit of the doubt. I tend to agree with the former pastor, now atheist Ryan Bell who said that if there is a God he would like to think he would give him a chance since he used the brain he had given him to try and figure him out. I think it's sad how many in the church treated Rob Bell when he wrote that book questioning the traditional Christian teaching of hell. I thank God for people like Rob Bell, Brian Mclaren, Sarah Bessey and Rachel Held Evans who've helped and still help me through my doubts. I also respect the likes of Tim Keller and Ravi Zacharias because despite being approaching faith in a conservative way they seem to use their intellect. I understand if you've never been a Christian you may wonder who those people are. Lol! But I think it's good that there's still people who approach faith in an intelligent way, but unfortunately there so many who appear to have no desire in using their brains when they teach about Christianity.

    I would say in the last two years my fear of non-believers has almost gone. Two podcasts helped me to settle this fear, one is called Unbelievable? and the other This American Life. I've mentioned Unbelievable? on this forum before, despite it being a podcast produced by a Christian radio station it's done a great job at humanising non-believers by interviewing them and giving them a fair chance during the debates. And with This American Life they just do a great job at showing that no matter where a person is from or what they believe everyone is a human being with their own life story.

    Now I have no desire to convert anyone but I think it's interesting to see what people think of spiritual and theological issues. I find with losing the desire to convert leads to new kind of freedom and helps me to see people as human being and not someone I must sell Christianity to. If I'm honest I'm not completely there yet. I still struggle with social anxiety and sometimes I have a slight distrust of people who have a different belief or religion to mine but I'm glad I'm not who I use to be.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2017
  2. xXkiller42

    xXkiller42 Fapstronaut

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    Man, I got good friends who are different religions than me. Atheist, Buddhist, Muslim. They accept that I have my christian beliefs and I accept the fact that they have a different religion or not one at all. Hell, the girl I like is a Buddhist lol.
     
  3. @Surfing Poet I think that it's horrible what happened in that church. No one should think that someone going to hell is funny. However, guys like Rob Bell who were pastors and are now atheists aren't going to get a free pass because the Bible says that hell is worse for believers than non believers especially if you're a former pastor who promotes atheism then the punishment is going to be worse than anyone else's. It sounds harsh but it's true. I struggled with evangelising also... Lots of Christians do. However I do believe that you still should stay friends with a non Christian even if they don't convert. If we don't tell people about God, then no one will.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2017
  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    It's a slippery slope from fundamentalism to fanaticism.
     
    Saskia Simone and SolitaryScribe like this.
  5. Aren't they the same?
     
  6. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Possibly.
     
  7. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    These guys publicly rejected Jesus and many of His words. Consequently they don't follow Him. They follow their pride of mind. Their way is directed to destruction. What they write and say is destructive. They persuade to reject Christian faith. They lead to Gehennah.
     
  8. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    I became a Catholic for very similar reasons. There are fringes of the Protestant, evangelical world that behave like a cult. Sounds like you were raised in one.
     
    DarkwingDuck and Saskia Simone like this.
  9. Rob Bell isn't an atheist, it's Ryan Bell who's the atheist. I know it's confusing since they similar names :emoji_speak_no_evil:
     
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  10. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to nearly everything you say in your opening post. Thank you so much for sharing it.

    I grew up in a family that was hyper-evangelical. At the time, I thought it was normal to have an 'us v them' mentality, to fear non-Christians, and to treat every situation as an opportunity to evangelize etc. The doctrine of hell was especially hard. I was filled with despair thinking people would end up in eternal torment, and it would be partly my fault for not evangelizing sufficiently.

    It wasn't until I left home and went to university that I started to see things in a different light. All the non-Christians I made friends with were just as loving and caring as my Christian friends. I also had a number of interesting experiences where I felt/saw the presence of God lovingly embrace all humanity. It dissolved my fear in hell.

    So these days, I describe myself as a Progressive Christian. I have found a church that is loving and progressive in thought, and focused on following Jesus. I love seeing all humanity as my brothers and sisters. We each have some light and love to share with each other.

    The downside is that my relationship with my parents is somewhat strained. When I was young they would always say, "We don't care what you do, as long as you are a Christian." By that they meant 'as long as I am a Christian according to their definition of Christianity'. Now they think I'm a heretic. It's tricky.

    Thanks for the list of the authors and podcasts you have shared. Rob Bell's work has been such a blessing to me. I'm keen to read the others. Have you read any Richard Rohr? His work is good too.

    Blessings, brother.
     
  11. Actually never heard of him, I should look him up. It's good you've found a good church, I've yet to find one myself. Maybe a part of me is scared of venturing out and finding a new church. I have thought about trying the Quakers as they in my area they have a meeting once a month (and in the city they have a meeting every week), but it's also finding the time since I'm busy with my uni course. Like today I'm catching up. But this isolation isn't good, while I stay in contact with some of the good friends in my old church it would be nice to meet people who are in a similar spiritual place as I am.

    BTW since writing my OP I've discovered The Liturgist and Ask Science Mike podcasts. They're pretty good and you might like them. Rob Bell and Rachel Held Evans have appeared on The Liturgists.
     
  12. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    I really enjoy both of those podcasts! Richard Rohr featured on the Liturgist once and talked about the 'Cosmic Christ.' It was really interesting. Have you listened to Gungor? Their music is awesome. (Michael Gungor, from the Liturgists is part of it, along with his wife.)

    I agree that finding a new church is quite scary. I think the Quakers is a great place to start. All the Quakers I have met have been very loving, kind, and open-minded. However, at the end of the day, church can be anywhere, once we recognize the Divine Spark in all people. We will find ourselves naturally acting in a loving and Christ-like way, as well as acknowledging this in others.
     
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  13. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Gosh this thread is quite eye opening. As an orthodox Christian, I hardly see the protestant prospective on evangelism. Evangelism for us isn't even all that important. We like to think that if you truly live by the words of Christ, that people will come to the faith by the love they see in you.

    Personally I find it extremely annoying when someone comes up to me and asks if I'm saved. the persistence is uncanny, no offense to people who fold those views.

    Christianity is not a telemarketing scheme, that we need to convert people by the numbers. We also need to stop having cult mentality to think that we are superior to anyone else.

    If you're interested, I would recommend reading books by the early church fathers regarding evangelism and how to deal with non believers. Those guys usually are the ones that get things spot on, considering the ones who taught them were the apostles.
     
  14. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    Your analysis is spot-on @SolitaryScribe

    For many evangelicals, Christianity has turned in a fear-based telemarketing scheme - where people are either 'in' or 'out,' and any person of another faith (or even another denomination or sect of Christianity) is seen as a threat. [This is just my perspective based on my experience.]


    Exactly. People should come to faith by the expression of Christ they see in us, not by fear-based propaganda. "Preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words."

    There is a wealth of inspiration we can get from the early church fathers. I have read quotes and excerpts from the early church fathers - but do you have books recommendations?
     
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  15. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Any particular topics you might be interested in??

    As for evangelism, I found this nice short article that perfectly sums up the orthodox view of evangelism. Give it a read and let me know what you think :)

    http://www.orthodox.net/articles/evangelism.html
     
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  16. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    Christianity was built on pull-factors; hence, only pull-factors should be used in getting people into Christianity. The moment push-factors are used is the moment the religion goes against Christ, as force goes against the very free will we were given.
     
  17. Yes I have. They're one of the few 'Christian' bands I can still listen to, although I'm not too keen on their first album. It's incredible to think Michael Gungor wrote Friend of God... I guess it shows how his faith has evolved.

    I've yet to hear that episode but have downloaded it. Another good podcast is The Bible for Normal People. It's presented by Pete Enns (who you've probably heard about since he's been on The Liturgist).

    Someone in my old church said we should sell Jesus to people. He's actually one of the few people in my church that I'm still in contact with, and for most part he's pretty cool but I'm not down with his attitude towards evangelism.
     
  18. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Jesus doesn't need to be sold. Jesus needs to be lived. Our life in Christ is our first and only goal... it's through that life that Christ uses us to reach the heart of others.
     
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  19. I am actually glad that nobody forced me to believe something or to go to a church or something.

    Because of my own created crap life because of porn, I started my spiritual journey. After 6 years or digging in lots or religions I found God. That is: in Christ. From that moment I was 100% sure and that never has changed.

    If you have problems with people who talked about a (selfmade) God, or problems with a church who has done more damage than good to you, I think you still haven't found God or His love. (who He really is). If you find Him, you will see the difference between who He really is, and what people has tried to tell you He is.

    Forget about the faith you are forced to have, get your own one.
     
  20. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    For me, I'm interested in Christ, ie the coincidence of His humanity and divinity - and what this means for us (ie we are in Christ, have the mind of Christ etc). Also, it would be interesting to see what the early church fathers had to say about the concept of hell. [I could find some resources on the internet, but if you have any recommended books, that would be great!]

    The article is great - and perfectly sums up what I interpret 'evangelism' to be. I particularly like the end statement, "Orthodox Evangelism is loving your neighbor as yourself. If we all did these things then our Churches would be open and filled with light and glory drawing all who see her by the grace and action of the Holy Spirit in their hearts."


    I only really listen to their latest albums, 'One Wild Life: Soul' being my favorite. It is interesting that his faith has evolved so much and we can see this through his albums. I've noticed he gets a lot of criticism about it on his Facebook page etc.... I guess anyone who "steps out" gets criticized though (ie Rob Bell). I'll take a listen to 'The Bible for Normal People' -sounds good!


    That is awesome! And when you find this Truth and it resonates so strongly within your spirit - nothing can ever take it away.

    Definitely! And I guess that is the whole point of this thread. Many of us grew up in a religious structure that was fear-filled or did not resonate with our spirit. Although it may have served our parents, it may not serve us. So, we are seeking to follow Jesus in other expressions of Christianity - which I think is a good thing.
     
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