In my 780 Day or reboot, I am uninstalling K9 from my computer

Yesterday I reached 27 month PMO free.
This last week was particularly challenging, I was never so close to relapse before.
But I could overcome the temptation, could resist the urges and could get rid of the pessimistic point of view of the addict (Why to keep making the effort? It is not worth it. Live is shit anyways".). All these excuses that we want to find when we are too horny and want to watch P, MO and release our frustrations in a destructive way.
I could see myself "after the fact", how much I would have regretted this. How low my self-esteem would have been, how much sadness and guilt I would have felt.
Meditation has became my best ally: I cannot recommend more to every rebooter to do it. Headspace has helped me to avoid relapsing big time the last weekend, I am very thankful to have learnt about this App. It gives me back the clarity of mind and get rid of the foggy state of mind that the urges bring me.
Things got better with my wife and we had a peaceful and loving weekend (even we had sex yesterday, which always helps to "decompress" things).
I look back to the previous weekend as one more challenge to my reboot, one more proof of endurance to my will power, and one more battle won.
I know it will not be the last one. I was a severely PMO addict (4-5 times per day during 40 years, hundred of random and promiscuous hook-ups in dangerous places with guys, plus thousand of dollars spent in male escorts and crappy motels). I cannot become complacent. I need to be all the time alert. Not anxious or obsessed, but alert.
The "Gremlin" will attack if I leave him space.
Fortunately I have developed the tools to fight him back every time he tried to surrender me.
Let's keep on fighting
Fercho

 

187 days is awesome @MentalRove . You should be proud of you!
Fercho

 

According to my experience, the addiction does not die. It stays dormant and weak inside us. It will be "hibernating", but ready to wake up and attack if we become complacent or if we are not alert.
After 27 months I still face some urges, specially when I feel sad or stressed out for some problems at work or at home.
The worst enemy is becoming complacent and thinking that "we killed the best". I have seen many long-time rebooters (3-4 years) relapsing because they thought that "they were cured", they did not return to this website and they forgot how bad the addiction was.
This is why I keep coming back after 27 months.
Stay strong
Fercho

 

No @theopendoor999 ...what is this?

 

It is one of the most popular porn blocker software.
You should install one of those to be safe when you are tempted to browse porn

 

Thank you @Happy Man
You do not need to be jealous. I was a serious PMO addict (4-5 times per day during 41 years, plus escorts and random hook ups every week ). So if I could made it, anybody ( including you ) can make it
Sry strong
Fercho