Day 7 and my gf just broke up with me. About to relapse.

DON'T. PANIC BUTTON. THERE IS A GOOD ONE I TOOK A PICTURE OF THIS MORNING. ILL POST IT.

 

Go for a walk if possible or take a cold shower. Relapsing isn't worth it.

 

Here it is. It all will get better. I had a girl get disinterested in me all because I couldn't perform and when I told her the truth she left. She didn't want that baggage. It will be okay. Focus on hobbies

 

Do not give up. If you hope to get her back, which can be a possibility if you don't drop into PMO abyss. If you or she thinks that you prioritize your needs before hers, you need to agree with her and change. PMO marathon isn't going to help here. Instead, work to strengthen yourself, work towards her goals as well. Talk to her.

If she is still unwilling to continue, or you think its already broken up for good, still work on yourself man. You owe yourself a better healthy life for a healthier relationship, which you already know has fallen apart due to PMO. Stay strong and committed to stay off PM so that you can work with a girl you love for O.

I've gone into self-pity mode leading to PMO. It is surely a life-ruiner. DON'T get there.

 

Take solace that you didn't marry her. She thinks you don't care enough about her! She not only broke up on the phone, but she did it while you were on vacation. Seems like she was being intentionally malicious and choose the worst time and worst possible way to break up with you. The irony of doing something like that while claiming YOU don't care enough about her. Ms considerate should have let you enjoy your vacation and waited till you got back.

And are you supposed to never travel or do any of the things you desire because Ms considerate doesn't like those things?

 

In the scheme of things this relationship is not important. What is important is getting rid of this addiction now and not fucking up future opportunities and relationships. Its probably better that you two are not together as the relationship was not fulfilling for her. You shouldnt string her along. You need to focus on getting your head straight and fix your performance issues. Once you do youll be in the proper space to enjoy a relationship.

 

Don't fall back into it, it's not worth it. Maybe your relationship won't work but don't stop bettering yourself.

 

Bro hug. When I relapsed last night it wasn't worth it.

 

Yeah I cant help but feel like OP isnt fully to blame for whats going on here, the girlfriend seems like one of those typical "If you dont already know what the problem is then I wont bother telling you" kind of people who isnt worth even bothering with.

 

It's not worth it brother! The stuff we learn on here isn't just a bumper sticker: we have to put it to use.

 

This was not the one for you and as a SO I can totally understand why she left you and I think you do too. My PMO addict partner was EXTREMELY selfish and never considered any of my needs even after he stopped. I tried and tried but eventually I had enough. it is a lot of baggage to deal with and if you don't have a partner who is supportive it's pretty impossible to recover in the relationship. You need to focus on you and getting better. Then when you are clean get back out there. I know this rebooting time is tough right now for you and you likely want to find solace with her. Respect her choice and do your best to move on. Remind yourself how hard it is for women to deal with this type of addiction. If you relapse you are only making things worse when you do meet the right one. Sometimes we meet great partners but in the wrong times in our lives. Don't lose hope keep on hanging in there. And by the way it's not okay for a woman to expect you to read her mind. If you asked her to come and she said no it's not your job to play detective and question her, it's her job to tell you what she wants or does not.

 

I'm a SO and I understand why she left you can't blame her, and she's not unique. Given a choice most women don't want to deal with this!!! That being said I agree with you she can't expect him to read her mind and that may be her issue but in the scheme of why she left I don't think it's the reason.

 

And he lied to her, chose

Dude he admits he's a PMO addict with no libido who chose porn over her and I suspect there was some lying going on. What do you expect? This is not about her.

 

A true addict doesn't consciously choose porn over their SO, that choice was made for them already by the addiction.

 

That does not make the pain any less for the partner. Most partners (long term) are willing to stand by an addict initially but an addict who continually relapses cannot expect a partner to support him over and over. You cannot blame someone for not wanting to be in a relationship with an addict, of any kind. Most people would not chose to be with an addict. And most men would not support their partners if the situation were reversed. She made the best choice for her.

 

If your SO is an addict and you walk out on him while he's still completely addicted it can be 100% expected that his addiction will grow even more severe.

 

You cannot place the responsibility for whether or not you relapse in someone else's hands, that is solely your responsibility. If you allow someone else to be the reason you do or do not get clean you will never recover you have to get better for you. And it's not fair to ask for someone who does not want to be with you to stay or you will relapse, that's manipulation.

 

It doesn't matter how messed up it is, it's the way it is. If a PA gets dumped what do you think is going to happen? He's going to relapse harder than he ever has in his life.

 

But it's true, as an addiction it's my job to make sure I'm clean I can't put my problem onto someone else