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No porn or masturbation for 4 months and still can't cum with a woman

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Chris Jackson, Aug 23, 2017.

  1. Chris Jackson

    Chris Jackson Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys

    I haven't wanked for 4 months now and last week I decided to have sex what happened was half way through my dick went down, luckily the girl was cool gave me a BJ and it got hard again, after that I was OK, but the real problem was I still couldn't cum and had to use my hand at the end to finish, have any of you guys ever had that problem?
     
  2. Jonathansierra

    Jonathansierra Fapstronaut

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    All the time. My ex could never finish me off I always had to do it. It's a shitty feeling bro.
     
    Chris Jackson likes this.
  3. Chris Jackson

    Chris Jackson Fapstronaut

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    Did she ever finish you off or did you always have to do it yourself?
     
  4. Recoveryattempt

    Recoveryattempt Fapstronaut

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    Some guys take longer to heal, recovery is not linear
     
    waterworld and Chris Jackson like this.
  5. Bullarrd

    Bullarrd Fapstronaut

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    It'd be cool if it was!
     
    Recoveryattempt likes this.
  6. AscendRestore

    AscendRestore Fapstronaut

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    We can often increase our own anxiety by DEMANDING RESULTS of our dicks.
    I'd say one goal is to not think about it, not stress about it, build erotic intimacy and enjoy. Don't make orgasm the goal - but if you find yourself on the track for it, go for it.
     
    Chris Jackson likes this.
  7. Jonathansierra

    Jonathansierra Fapstronaut

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    I always had to finish my self off. She finished me off in the 3 years we dated twice.
     
    Chris Jackson likes this.
  8. FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    I am still in flatline

    She uses a vibrator while I am in her

    She takes a very long time

    I use ED pills

    When it's my turn to O it can take a long time

    Sometimes she has to do it for me by hand and that can take a long while too. (with me doing a lot of real life people / taboo sceanero fantacy) my D litterealy goes numb / gets worn out!

    But I really don't want to use my own hands to finish as I feel that will make her feel "a failure".

    We are both a little messed up and worried about this pattern we have fallen into but we are talking about it.

    She thinks she has overdone it with her vibrator and has lost sensitivity (That's totally a known phenomenon here in the woman's section) and I know I am in a seemingly unending flatline. (I am very bored and pissed off with that)

    We will get there. (eventually!)
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2017
  9. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    Aiming for sex is good but never use your hand. If you can not come, then you can not come.

    Beware of the death grip!!!

    Note: best not to get blow jobs, it's best to only rewire to the vagina. Kissing, cuddling, eye contact and talking is the best.
     
  10. FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    Yeah. I. Am not keen on all the hand job finishes I have been getting lately. Need to dial those back.
     
    Chris Jackson likes this.
  11. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Hi I'm female and I was in a relationship with a man who had PIDE. He was never able to O from PIV and it was six months after he stopped. I could make him O with my hand or oral but even that took 3 months and we were in a committed relationship where I was aware of his issues. Having sex with a new partner is stressful under normal circumstance but more anxiety producing when you know you may have performance issues. I would recommend developing a relationship first before jumping to sex and as difficult as it is be open with her. It will ease your anxiety. And whatever you do do not use your hand during sex it prolongs the issue. It was not to me. It takes time to recovery. Just hang in there you will get there.
     
  12. Scottyboy860

    Scottyboy860 Fapstronaut

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    Tell her you want a money back guarantee next time! You'll get your value at least!

    lol I'm just trying to make ya laugh. Anxiety is a killer bro. One day at a time!
     
    Chris Jackson likes this.
  13. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    From a SO what I suggest is letting the SO be the sole source of O for you. Have sex and let her stimulate you and if after she had oed you can tell it's not going to happen for you stop and try again later. Just keep doing that and eventually your body will have no choice but to O from her. Then once you do and you know that you can do it it relieves the anxiety making it easier to O the next time. But you really can't use your hand, ever again even with her. First it will give you an out another option and you will always turn to that option because you know it works and it's easy. Like well if I can't O with her there is always my hand. Second it reinforces a pathway in your body you are trying to break meaning my hand is how I derive sexual pleasure. Third if you have done physical damage created by death grip you are making it worse and finally you are making yourself vulnerable to the chaser effect meaning you are more likely to relapse. You remember how good your hand feels and how easy it is. I know this is difficult. Even as a partner I felt bad that my SO could not O but the reward is worth it in the end.
     
  14. FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    agree with above...
     
    GG2002 likes this.

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