Anybody else...

Yes, my friend that must be all of us in here. If we didn't care we would be here. And because we care, we feel all the shame and guilt so strongly.

 

It feels like I'm in the right mindset at times, but apparently i guess not since i relapsed twice. It seems as if i need to just get the hell away from my family and the crazy drama that my brother and sister are trying to stir up. It will eventually get better.

 

I think it is the neurochemicals that are released in our brains whenever we PMO... and I think the brain keeps looking for that feeling... sort of like in drug addicts. I am hoping that with abstinence eventually our brains will be less hungry for that stimulus.

 

Its due to several things :

1. Dopamine released in huge quantities that drive you to using porn
2. Oxytocin and serotonin released after orgasm give you a calming effect
3. DeltafosB being laid down each time you act out. This is the trigger that started the ball rolling each time. It sticks around for 3 months so a long period of abstinence is required for it to disappear.

 

Our body makes us crave because it believes we aren't reproducing.

 

So thats why the 90 days is the magic number around here i take it

 

Well it's not magical, it's approximate. It probably will take you more, but 90 days is approximate days, where you will start feeling free.

 

Same feeling here. I too relapsed despite trying so hard.
Things that helped me the most is associating some reward for not relapsing and punishment for relapsing.
The punishment intensity keeps on decreasing with time and reward keeps on increasing.

The punishment is often the things that I would not want to do in any case and reward is something that I want to do but couldn't do. This sometimes helps me.
Also maintaining diary of events, like when was urge the maximum and how you overcome might also help.