Loneliness, depression and anxiety

Hi

I recognise a lot of how you feel. The feeling alone, the inability to connect. I know how that feels. As I usually put it, I get along with everyone fine, but I have no real friends. The few I've had over the years who might have fit that category I let myself lose contact with and drift away.

Life sucks when you're that alone, but the fear, shame and social inadequacy keep you there. I'm in a relationship, although my SO and that relationship is badly hurt by the revalation of my PA. But apart from her I'm alone.

Your plan to try and build some more positive habits sounds a good one. If you feel medication can help then let it help.

One thing you might also do is check if there are any sex addiction support groups nearby. I found that there was an SAA group in my city (I really didn't expect there to be one in my country). I find it very helpful. It's like, by definition, because of the nature of the group and what is for, you jump straight passed the usual social crap. Totally skip all the wondering about "how good a friend is this person?", "can I confide in them or will it be inappropriate?", etc. Just skip that and jump straight to "I can tell these guys anything, and they'll understand and they'll support me". On the first night. For a severally avoidant person like me. It's very helpful just to be able to sit there once a week and talk in a feeling of safety and support about this stuff that I still keep hidden from everyone except my SO. It may or may not be helpful for you, but it'd be worth looking in to.

 

I've checked the name of the author because i thought it was me Im feeling the same bro. For me it helps to accept everything as it is and dont crave for more. Dont care about other people - just be yourself and as you stay strong they will come to you. People like strong personalities and want to be accepted. Just dont be a pussy man, everyone feels lonely and have bad thoughts about themselves. Its just demons who want to takeover your life but stand still and be on the light side. Accept these things and wait for them to go by. Just do your shit and the Karma will reward you, trust me bro.

 

your strength to admit all of this is inspiring. I relate to all of this so so much. I've been a P addict for about 14 years too and it's cost me too much. Relationships, job opportunities, friends, academics. I'm almost afraid of getting close to people, the anxiety is horrible.

Feeling lonely in a room full of people, succumbing to my vices to help heal pain only to make things much worse.

Have faith and don't lose hope. The thought of the guilt and shame I feel any time I O motivates me not to.

I found the below pic somewhere on NoFap, it personifies poetry in motion. Forward, always!

 

godspeed, friend. Let us know how the session with the councillor goes

 

Good luck. I hope it helps

 

You don't need medication, you need a plan. You think people have social anxiety in Syria? No one has time for that shit. That's a constraint created by our always evolving western society. You need to go to rehab, you have a discipline issue, and under that an addictive personality. You need a life coach, you're not motivated enough. You don't have the light at the end of the tunnel. Put 20minutes of thought in what you'd like to achieve in life. Not one positive aspect of your life was presented. Your family all taking the same medication is not evidence that you need it. It's evidence that you guys have not been putting the will to be and feel better. Instead a pill is gonna start fixing things on it's own.

 

Hey can I ask how long you went on nofap for? longest streak? Also I can empathise with everything you say as I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for years now. I also had a ridiculous amount of social anxiety to the point of panic attacks and looking sick every time I talk to a human being.

Now? Well just last night I made a bunch of new friends with these spanish girls and hung out with them. We were strangers but by the end of the night, we were friends. And yes, some of the girls are pretty too. It wasn't a breeze so to speak, but my social anxiety has drastically improved.

I managed all this after 5 years of constant social anxiety. I made a youtube video making a list of all my tips.

Check it out if you're interested:

Now the problem for me isn't actually talking to girls. It's talking to a girl that's attracted to me.

 

Why not take a look at slaa anorexia meetings either locally or online. They deal with social anorexia as it's known in slaa.

 

I've been there dude. In fact, I go there regularly. I know your anger and sheer frustration at life. Believe me, you're not alone feeling how you do.

You said you haven't tried medication? Absolutely get some medication. Depression is a chemical imbalance. You and I are the unlucky ones who get that imbalance. So medication really, really helps. I use St Johns Wort.

Excercise is awesome for fighting depression. It really is. Go and run around a bit right now, and I guarentee you'll feel a bit better. Have a regular workout, and stuck to it, and you'll feel consistently better. You'll improve physically, and mentally, you'll have more to do, you'll have goals....it's so good, so helpful.

As for social anxiety - have you talked to your doctor? I have social anxiety, big time, just meeting a friend for a drink makes me panic about every stupid little thing. But it is normal, you shouldn't hate yourself for it. Find someone to talk to about it. I've never met anyone who hasn't experienced social anxiety at some point. Often the loudest, friendliest people seem the most confident - but you later find out it's all an act, they just want to appear socially confident. Everyone feels shy and stupid sometimes.

Just remember that, although you feel alone, and that all this stuff is happening to you alone, that's not the case. Depression is something everyone has to fight sometimes, you and I just have to fight it more often. But we're still here, aren't we? Its never going to beat us.

 

It is not for you to tell another person that they do not need medication. As far as I know, you are a young guy without medical qualifications. If you feel strongly in the matter, that is something for you. But respect the needs others have.

 

I don't have to be old and weary to be aware of the prescription issue in the USA. We're talking about social anxiety. Not schizophrenia. I've felt what he's described , you don't need prescribed medication to fix something that YOU have to do on your own. He has to take baby steps into reconstructing his social life , because he says he has nothing the fall back on for support. Simultaneously he can also seek help from a rehab to help him stay off weed (a drug that tends to demoralize)SUICIDAL thoughts + anti depressants not a good combo for an addictive personality. He's not gonna get the magic pill he's looking for. This can lead to taking prescription drugs for 5years at that point you're going to be no different from a heroin addict because you cannot function without it. But by all means keep backing prescription drugs, the doctors are out for your best interest

 

With all due respect for your opinions. Yes, you do seem too young to be giving advice to others for depression/anxiety. Especially medical advice.

I have always been totally against prescription medication for myself. I refused to even take painkillers for rather severe pain. I succumbed only a few times in my whole life. Now, for the past few weeks, I am also on SSRIs. No, not because I don't want to do work on my issues, but because I do. SSRIs are not addictive, but they do need a weaning off period. They regulate the good and bad hormone levels, so you can function normally. When you find yourself unable to function at all, so you can't even address your own issues, that's when medicine can help. I might have even waited to ask for medical help too long. After months of my heart rate of over 100 bpm 24/7 and constant shaking, intermittent crying or anger outbursts, nightmares and constant flashbacks, not eating almost at all (only a bite once a day, so I wouldn't collapse), and I could continue with the symptoms for a while still... You get the picture, I HOPE! How can you tell me, or anyone else, that they HAVE TO do it all by themselves. How do you know I was/am able to "just pick myself up and go exercising", for example. Have you ever had severe depression/anxiety or cPTSD??? Please, take this opportunity to learn, that even though you don't have to be old to give advice, you probably don't have enough life and/or medical experience to tell people what to do.

 

You read what you wanted out of my post clearly, I'll leave it. Op just take the meds we can settle on that?