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Had some negative news about my job ending and bullet addiction + porn aka just raising my dopamine levels through adrenaline and ugly videos, tough to trust yourself if I dont take it seriously
does anyone want to make a bet with me, if I fail I just give you money, i need some extra thing to get through this, otherwise its just I feel a little bad, ive worked hard, people suck, lets just say I deserve it.
I dont use it as an amusement actually, rather as a punishment or numbness from uncomfortable feelings as Ive said numerous times before. At some point I just dont care.
But its weird, I so believe in it, I want just some certain and confident feeling and the fact that I want to fuck these girls and do whatever I want is the one, next time I will drink, no promises, but I'll still keep going, 30 days is my goal.
ejaculation just kills your energy, fuck i hate myself, how can I start to trust myself again. it's just I know its bad but I still do it, before I felt anger and rush to fix my things, now i just feel nothing again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWRiygXgNf0, i'm still on a right path, i know the art of delayed gratification, nofap takes patience, i can do it, I want to get more testosterone and feel more like a man.
im still clearly very angry at myself, but i can change and i will. what matters im still on the right path, trying to improve, i wont give in to anger and hate, i start again and go farther this time, its not the count that is important, just that you believe in it and act accordingly.
i sound like some typical motivational speaker, talking some bullshit for people to like them, but i feel its actually the way I feel. whoever likes this comment, gets a candy.
carl yung was also very high on openness, so i think its good to try to say exactly what you feel, in real life its much harder, by writing easier. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxqVPcDaYFQ hopsin's new song is good.
Go outside and talk to people. If you see a pretty girl then approach her and strike up a conversation. You will get a sudden boost of confidence. Go out of your comfort zone and do something that scares you. You will feel more alive and happier. - stuff I know but need to do more
The flatline exploits you by giving you the sex drive of a 95-year-old man. Zero Libido, no attraction towards females, no desire to masturbate and no benefits of Nofap as far as the eye can see. If you run back to porn your brain will feel good and normal again. - yes, now brain back to shitty, doesnt understand stuff and low on focus, i dont like it i want to fucking..., no hope.
But the Nofap Flatline is a deceiver. It pushes you towards instant gratification and it doesn’t tell you that a better you awaits you at the end of the tunnel. If you enter this fight, you will come out as a winner who will be much stronger, faster, sharper and superior to your previous self. You will be more emotionally connected to the world than you ever were.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdtKPV7MyMo. You need to have a reason why you do this, thats bigger than yourself. My reason is my huge crush I guess, I know if I do things the way my gut tells, then we're so similar and I deserve her, that is literally my motivation.
You need to focus not on nofap, but the whole spectrum of your life: mental patterns, confidence patterns, positive encouraging self-talk, the way you use words is amazingly important, it might feel uncomfortable at first to talk confidently, but it's a life-changer.
If you have that understanding, that you need to change something, trust it, and understand it will take many days, but the fact that you're starting is already worthy of recognition.
Sometimes we think we are already in control and then testing the waters is fine, its okay to look a little, I must be able to control myself anyways, but actually it's messing up.
Phase 3 is when you strart creating, you have so much sexual energy and you use it every day to create something. When your mind is actively busy, there's no time to relapse, just stay busy, really, difficult times come, but they past and dont think what people think.
Anyways my plan is not to come to this site now for another 2 weeks, try to forget that I have this challenge and stop teaching you here, focus on getting things done, it will work, I have belief.
Don't be so hard on yourself. This thing is a process. When really ugly things happen and we don't have the proper tools to find a fitting regulation for our emotion, it is just natural to do what we have always done to deal with it. When I broke up with my ex and she kept shittalking me I relapsed intentionally, too. Because it hurt me so much and I just wanted to feel good.
It's okay. I then figured out that I want to stop cause it is not fitting for my heart, and then I stopped. " If she is shit and relapsing and trying to hurt me with other guys, THEN I WILL HURT HER BACK AND WATCH SOME BITCHES THAT ARE WAY BETTER THAN HER"
You may have a belief in you that if life is a bitch towards you, you be a bitch back; but also paired with the desperate longing to feel better.
I figured out I had that believe that I just quoted before and I had to accept it and change it, replace it with something that serves me. Because I am not hurting her with it, only myself.
Try to think of a way to deal with it next time. Some proper way that is strong. Visualise it. Feel it. And then move on
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