Comments on Profile Post by Halpherisdusfrey

I'm suffering from chaser effect after an O yesterday. I decided to O cause my brain was in the really high level of dopamine, due to a nearly O before. Today i was high in dopamine, it fluctuates much and , the shame thing i did was searching for p-subs.

I mostly felt that all of control, the knowledge i built fell off yesterday after that O. I still feel that i objectify myself, even though i know how bad it is. Then i looked for p-subs, already know how bad it is but continued to do. I'm ashamed much.

Just take a deep breath, and start again. We've pretty much all been in the place you are now. It sucks, but it doesn't end here. We're not aiming to do this in style or look clever, you just have to keep showing up. Blessings!

The chase effect hit me really hard. I consider this O and chaser effect is a chance i learn from my subconscious reaction from my brain and body to avoid next time when i am sane, maybe in a week or 10 days more.

@Bombadil Yes thank you for encouragement. I'm so overwhelming by how hard chaser effect did to me. But i promised to myself that "i will avoid relapse at all cost".

I know that M is normal if do it one time. But after that one time, my brain craves for more. So i'm standing in the verge of relapse and try to climb on the cliff. That's really dangerous side of MO.

Saying makes it a bit better. *sigh*

I'll experience it all and when i'm fully conscious i'll write down.

Knowing the chaser is coming, and what a big deal it can be is the first step towards resisting. It's not pretty, but it works.

Have to make clear that i decided to O because i was nearly edging before, harmer than having an MO itself, however i reseted my counter. I thought chaser effect maybe less worse than edging, a fluctuation in dopamine maybe better than a high level of it.

Now it is a battle between me and chaser effect. It’s also a chance for me to experience this, to learn and get knowledge and awareness about how my mind and body react after an O.