Batty Belfry

Hello NoFap members,

This is Batty Belfry joining you on the rebooting and retention lifestyle. I started watching pornography since I was 17 and have handled my sexual urges better, but not completely, in my early twenties.

I recognize that I am attracted to women and for more than just their physique. I have friendships with women and have never had a relationship with a woman. The problem I feel and think I have is that I attract women in a way that has no sexual intentions, even though I am still sexually attracted to women.

I understand that to know the person first is necessary to starting, building, having, and maintaining a relationship. I understand there is more to life than just sex, but of course, there would be no life without it.

Humor aside, my circumstances (my conservative, religious, small town upbringing, for example) have taught, if not dictated, my approach to sexuality and relationships.

My goals for and beyond NoFap are to:

- Control emotional and physical responses.
- Balance sexual urges with nonsexual activity.
- Have meaningful, healthy, not regressive, relationships.

To achieve these goals, I have written five core values:

- Validation

I am living proof that life in me and through me will carry purpose without the approval of others; unless it should make them better to have been inspired or advisory as my witness.

How I approach my happenings and callings will be discerned by my character and by those who know my character. I choose myself not over another, but in the hope that I can become selfless.

To the point of precipitation, may I cast rains of my good fortunes, whether it be a downour or a drop, so that it may be absorbed again and be shed once more for the people with and without clouds over their heads.

Knowing the backs of my hands as well as the bottoms of my feet is my journey. Moving forward while standing still is my destination. Validation begins and ends always with the self.

- Authenticity

The true self presents itself through concrete changes in that my aims are not self-defeating. Self-discovery and self-awareness are the pours on the skin of authenticity.

Being born anew is a constant exercise of the soul imbedded in the words and acts closely woven and to be worn as a diligent wardrobe. I will not only dress the part but will become the part I was made for.

However, like a wardrobe, authenticity is not without divergence. There are many accessories that on the surface seem disingenuous and gaudy to the beholder, but as the wearer, it is a statement more than fashion only I can wear. Authenticity is the magician without his magic; the trick is to tell and to live the truth.

- Love

The matters of the heart think with a self-respecting emotional intelligence. It does not project selfish indulgence or pump empty promises that can only lead to bad blood. True love is a love of the self which translates to a common love for others.

I hold a caring disposition in fear that no one cares at all and in strength that I still care despite being my own or part of the minority. It is a dangerous thing not to care, for there is no love where there is no care.

The true exception revolves around self-love, where care must be placed on not only the little things but on the larger than life concerns set out for myself. Loving myself will find love in new places and faces who double the love to be had.

- Originality

Inspiration and aspiration, invention and reinvention, are distinct equals in the case of creation. As a creator, I will not rely on derivative platitudes or cluttering cliches as adequate expressions or explanations.

Rather, the moments where I find lacking will force my unconscious feelings to become conscious thoughts and words for memories in the making.

My ideas will be my own while accepting their close inspirations and far aspirations. To be original, I must practice while not succumbing to perfection and focus on fulfilling my good intentions and turn them into
good actions.

- Routine

I will not have my hands be made idle. My work will become my play and when need be I will find the necessary separation of the two. I will shape a world of stagnation into one of dedication.

Time will not be determined by the clock's hands but by the willingness of mine. Seconds or a century, my goals will not bend unlike my mode of operation. How I reach my successes wanes in the shadow of my reach still being done. I have a diligent and flexible work ethic that does not fall into mundanity, but rises through creativity.

I will meet every day with sights on the next day so that I may say the days before me meant well and the days ahead of me mean better. On my last day, if I should have the company of one, it will have meant my trials and errors amounted to the continuous power of a hopeful routine.

Thank you for learning more about me, and I look forward to adding more value to an already invaluable community,

Batty Belfry