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It will fade away.. Do atleast 5 minutes of meditation!
Believe me when I say I know exactly what you are feeling. To feel like I had failed my family and worse, myself. Feeling like you've failed yourself is one of the worst feelings to ever experience.
But the best thing you can do, is try your best to work yourself, take care of yourself. Make achievable short-term and long-term goals and try to accomplish goals. Work on yourself.
Meditation will kill me.
I'm not a good person. I have terrible thoughts
man but meditation is about not having thoughts , until you doesn't have master meditation you will remain susceptible to your thoughts , it is really important