Antaeus1981

Well... Ok. I am a 40 year old man from Germany. I've been fapping since my early teens as many of us do here . My story started with masturbation to Playboy magazines and harmless lingery picures offline in the 90s. I've never been that successful with girls during my high school years and, in retrospect, rarely tried to enter into a relationship with one of the girls. It was so easy to jerk off at home- really pathetic !
During the time of my university studies, I had plenty of chances to meet girls and I occasionally did. But as soon as things got serious, I tried to persuade myself that I didn't have the time/the money for a committed relationship.
On the occasion of the few sexual encounters during my university studies, I noticed mild ED and PME which made the intercourse quite unsatisfying for the girls...
Five years ago, I had my first real girlfriend and even though I continued fapping occasionally, we managed to have a quite satisfying sexlife in the beginning.
Things got worse and we finally broke up for several reasons...: from the beginning of the relationship, she suffered from self injurious behavior. I believed, love can heal that... I was wrong.
Furthermore... I had lost sexual interest in her because no partner in the world can provide constant novelty.

After the breakup, I decided to look for the root cause of my (sexual) problem and after several medical examinations without result, I found out that I was not alone with my problem...

The last years, I failed over and over trying to do 90 days PMO-free. During this time, I learned a lot about the demon of porn/porn-fantasy-addiction, sexual dysfunction, triggers and thoughts that can rush into disaster...

That's what I want to share in the hope to help you !

Currently, I'm on day 7 of my ''New-Year-Streak'' and I hope, this one lasts forever .