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@thinking_differently I guess it is the love that I have missed the most, wether it is from my parents or from any girl. I don't feel being at home when I actually stay at my mothers apartment. I don't feel accepted from woman. I am an ugly and short guy and I don't deserve nothing in life.
What makes me depressed is my unknown future. My health condition is really bad at that moment. So I have started to fast for recovery. I am also afraid about finding a job where I have no interest at all. My mother has never loved me. I am feeling useless.
You know I have prayed to god for my entire life but he is not supportive either. So I don't believe in his existence anymore. I had to much patience to ask him for a harmonious better life which I will never experience. The more I live the worse it gets.
I am fighting almost 2 years with this addiction without any success and I have no power anymore. I also think that I will not post anything here anymore. I am the fallen Brahmacharya.
Forget whether you deserve or not, ugly or not.
I understand you’ve missed love.
I hope you will find some soon. <3
Stay aware bro.
You will find love, every human does.
You know it's not true. All this negativity is quite bothersome. Besides, you have already achieved the 30 days challenge. You can do it again. If you are depressed look foe help, why not ?
@she-dernatinus I should deeply accept the present moment and get out of my mind the wishes for getting a lifepartner. I don't know if I am strong enough tho. Letting go is so hard. I won't Comeback until I haven't reach the 30 days of NoPMO.
@she-dernatinus What I have realized now, or better what I have finally learned from my last 2-3 relapses is that every time when those urges arise, I have an hatred mood and sometime a real sad mood. I think I should concentrate being emotionless.
This is what I found out. I think I should not care about people, about spreading hate, about any possible frightening situation in the future, and uncertainty. I am definetly overthinking too much.
Don't try to forget about finding a lifepartner. You need to reach a comfortable medium where such matter is left to fate, and can feel peaceful with or without partner.
@she-dernatinus In my opinion a woman would never accept a man who is suffering from incontinence and several other chronic deseases and with a bad financial situation. People love others who are in good condition. There is no such a thing as real love and I know this. A woman would never sacrifice her time for a man who is a failure which has to be sort out. Sorry for that truth-bomb.
If you and this woman have a goal to start a family. Both of you need to have a stable financial base. As for illnesses, I personally know men who have health issues but still have families of their own. I don't think your health problems are as severe as you see them. There are a lot of women in the same situation as you and with the same fears and anxieties. So, don't think too much about it.
Leave all of this to fate. You aren't a failure because of your chronic diseases, and your financial situation can improve as you become more and more independant. It's not a fatality. Just in case you think about starting a family. Otherwise, it won't matter much.
Comments on Profile Post by Krillin1993