i meditated and hated it so much it made me realize just how fucked up i am and i couldn't forgive myself, wanted to beat myself up or cut myself, instead went for a jog until it hurt and thinking about how much i hate everything the whole time, swearing to myself and tempted to hit myself
Well that's normal! You did the right thing by meditating and posting on here. If you avoided self-harm by jogging, good job! That's something to be proud of.
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