Renorylok

I'm not a porn addict, but rather a softporn addict, more accurately (it's still porn). I started watching videos of a woman on youtube, back when youtube had this secret underbelly of women promoting themselves on the site with free content in order to guide viewers to the paid stuff. I don't blame youtube. I built a weird dependency and have dedicated a lot of time over the past 4 years to deconstruct my addiction. It's almost completely rooted in lonely sadness, or the sadness caused by the inability to connect to others when I am lonely. In addition to that, other triggers are when I am not growing in life or when I accidentally binge youtube content that is entertainment. I am here today because I peaked today in terms of this lonely sadness and I (maybe) displayed some ED. I've been a lurker for years, but it's the right time to shift gears.