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Thoughts become reality. Instead of saying you deserve to be free, say that you are free. Then when an urge hits ask yourself if you want to be a slave. It's a powerful realization.
@アルパイン you make a valid point. However, as a counselor, a common theme that I see with people in recovery is that they sabotage themselves. Many times, people find themselves in the revolving door of addiction because they simply do not believe that they deserve to be free. They judge themselves and work against themselves.
It is, therefore, important for some people to have the breakthrough that they do, indeed, deserve to be free. Then they are working for their own good, and not against their own good. This is a truth that many people find helpful.
I understand that pain and I still struggle with it. One thing which has helped me a lot has been to use the word "notice" when reviewing my own behavior and mood. This has helped me stay away from being judgmental towards myself, which in turn has helped me stay away from self-condemnation.
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