hocd

Hey guys/girls, Trigger warning: ocd, so-ocd, anxiety first off, let me say thank you for allowing me to join your forums. My name is Jeff, and I am a 40 year old male. I suffer from ocd (specifically SO-OCD), and that can take me some pretty scary places. The other night I was sitting on my...

To preface, i'm 16 and fighting a porn addiction. I started around 11-12 and struggle to quit. From what I can remember, when I first started watching porn women did turn my on, but I can't recall a time where I had a strong erection with a real women. When ever I'm with a real girl my erections...

Please i need someones help urgently and need to speak to someone now. Please do not ignore this post

Hello everyone, due to my miserable situation right now I want to share my addiction story with you all: I am 25, quite good looking and fit, and live in South Germany. Right now I am living with my parants and my younger brother again. Since Feb 2023 I am working as a controller in an...

Long story short.. I was in a relationship for nearly 2 years with an amazing girl... I loved her very much and the end of the relationship hurt, but I took some therapy sessions and started to feel great and having a need to look for new girls around... in these 2 years of relationship I...

Hey so I am a 18 year old male or atleast I am pretty sure. I had a great life all 18 years. I had always been manly, never done anything feminine or ever liked it in my life. Nothing to do with trans, nothing my childhood and everything was manly and masculine, loved myself so far and still do...

*Possible triggers* This is my first post, and it’s gonna be a long ass one. So to my bro’s and sis’, sit tight LOL. What I’m going to say is gonna be all over the place which is a reflection of the current state of my being right now. Plus brain fog is absolutely crazy lately, feel so...

Hi to you all! Thank you for reading my siuation! I love you very much, hb

Once when i was 10-11 (i think) i had a gay phase but it really was a phase because at that time i was an edgy cringe kid (acting like im depressed) and i thought that being gay was soo cool and i wanted that cool feeling. After some time i grew out of that cringe phase and i realised that im...

Hello, I am glad to write my first thread in this forum. Although my problem with PMO is not serious, first I think I have a more important problem with homosexual OCD in relation to P and M, I don't know if that is because of P and M or separate from it, which is clear to me I don't want to...

Once when i was 10-11 (i think) i had a gay phase but it really was a phase because at that time i was an edgy cringe kid (acting like im depressed) and i thought that being gay was soo cool and i wanted that cool feeling. After 1 year i grew out of that cringe phase and i realised that im into...

I searched on this forum for the presence of tingling sensations during the sobriety period but i couldn't find cases like me. So, I decided to open a new thread. When I started to abstain from pmo I used to feel this tingling sensation at my lower abdominal. It is very weird as it never...

Hey everybody So after going through some of threads on here and just googling a bunch of shit I realised there aren’t many threads about being addicted to (basically) gay hookups. So I decided to make one. Im still on the journey of recovery so everything I write on here isn’t gonna be a...

I’ve been addicted to porn since a very young age. Even as far back in middle school I was already using porn compulsively. I didn’t have many friends and I always stayed in my house which led to doing nothing but watching pornography. Since then I can no longer get off to the thingsthat once...

I'm desperately seeking advice, since I can't talk about my story with anyone. I recently started therapy but I don't trust them enough to talk about this topic yet. So if anyone has some knowledge or any advice please help me out. I try to keep it short. There are a handful of memories that I...

Desperately need advice from people who have gone through porn escalation I’ve been addicted since around the age of 10. I was exposed to sex far too young and this combined with the fact that I was never very social led to me spending most of my time watching porn online. It started normally...

Desperately need advice from people who have gone through porn escalation I’ve been addicted since around the age of 10. I was exposed to sex far too young and this combined with the fact that I was never very social led to me spending most of my time watching porn online. It started normally...

Today I have reached the mark of 60 I am 30 days away from getting the challenge of the 90s and along the way I have noticed benefits but there are also problems. The context is as follows: . 24 years . Use of pmo from the age of 12 . Remarkable climb in pmo from vanilla to trans porn (never...

I’ve been addicted to porn since a very young age. Even as far back in middle school I was already using porn compulsively. I didn’t have many friends and I always stayed in my house which led to doing nothing but watching pornography. Since then I can no longer get off to the things that once...

Hey fellow Fapstronauts, sorry english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes. I relapsed again. I have been almost clear of HOCD for the past few months. My story is like everyone else. I started porn young, looking at vanilla then Escalated to lesbian then gay! I am so not gay im...

I started watching porn regularly at a very young age. I was exposed to porn around the age of 10 and began watching it on my own around age 12-13. Since then I've compulsively watched porn multiple times a day, I hate it. I am now 20 years old and in the past few years I have escalated to...

So im gonna start this off by saying that im a 16, about to be 17 year old male. I would also really apreciate if anyone reads this/posts their opinions on my situation. But to understand my story you are going to have to know some backstory. Up until the age of 9 i lived in Croatia, and...

I’ve been addicted to pornography since a very very young age. It all started with my exposure to porn as a very young child. Since then I’ve become pretty numbed to pretty much all the things that turned me on. It’s like because of how much I use it I constantly need more and more extreme...

after how many months when I stop PMO will HOCD stop? is HOCD for life ?

So , I was so strong agains hocd , I thinked about this will be the last time when I will be so confuse about this sexuality and thoughts 2-3 days ago i saw somebody post when he said about fluid of sexuality and you can become homosexual after your teen ages , this blow up all my progress and...

Hi there everyone… For privacy reasons I will not disclose my age unless I am asked privately and it is relevant… Anyways I have to explain myself here because I need answers… Also I have Aspergers and OCD so keep that in mind… For a long time I have been watching porn… I have developed HOCD...

Hello, I approach 90 days of no pmo, with one relapse. 21M straight, 10year of porn addiction, 1+ year Ed, 1year hocd. After almost 90 days of no pmo but with s with my gf and sometimes m only with my thoughts, I can say that this flatline is killing me. I am able to have s sometimes not being...

I feel hopeless, for 2 days I feel aroused only by boys, gay porn, the thought of doing something with them 1 year ago everything was ok, I was attracted only to women until the hocd started I don't know if I got gay and I hope this didn't happen, I don't have an erection in straight movies at...

hello again, I listened to a man's advice and thank him, I chose to end it all, but some insecurities got in my head and I can't understand even 1% of them, I try to remember who I was and all this stuff I will try to mention a few things that prevent me from continuing I've been attracted to...

I know deep down I'm not gay. But I get extremely nervous looking at men to the point where my chest starts hurting due to anxiety. I escalated porn from solo - > vanilla - > lesbian - > Incest - > hentai - > Futa. I just get bored of stuff. I never wanted to look up gay porn, but I found it by...

Hey all, I'm a straight 26m having some gay thoughts. I started out in 7th grade or 8th looking at straight/lesbian porn. I escalated over time to more shocked stuff. But I never had any desire to go out and do it. I definitely had crushes in 5th/6th grade on two different girls. I was...

Hello everybody My situation is pretty much same with others here. I am 21M, having pmo 10 years now and suffering from hocd the last one (I was lying down on my sofa thinking of my s problem and a thought of being gay came and hasn't left) . I have always been straight. Until 11 I was a mess. I...

Hi I write this after 3 hours in which I struggle to fall asleep, I only have suicidal thoughts or gay thoughts that seem acceptable to me I tried some tips like "Try to focus on something else and totally ignore the thought", this advice went well until yesterday when a gay person wrote to me...

Hello everybody, I became member of nofap 2+ months ago when I realised that my porn use was not normal. 1,5 year now I have struggled with ed not knowing where it came from. I am also in a relationship with a beautiful girl. In time I have mentioned periods that my tastes was escalated without...

Hello everyone, I hope someone can help me. I have severe OCD since I was 10 now i’m 26, and I had HOCD and other OCD themes before this happened. My OCD became much worse two years ago because of severe Groinal responses. Groinal responses I had gave me unwanted orgasms. I hate to even...

Hello all, Been a fan of the idea of nofap for years, but of course addiction has taken the upper hand. Having some struggles fellas My journey started out like most young men, looking at women in magazines or catalogues. Then the introduction to online porn and then years of escalation to...

So yes, I have beaten HOCD. Porn escalation. All that shit. However regular porn and death grip is the final hurdle, and if I can beat HOCD, I can beat this too. I have an issue with my penis that is really messing with my head, and I'm not even sure if it is a huge deal or not. I've death...

Hello guys, I'm gonna write a huge rant here, hope ya'll can help. well there's a lot to the story. When I was young, I had sexual experiences with other guys. My cousin introduced me to porn when I was around 9 years old, he would force me to jerk his dick off, I didn't really like it but he...

Are you interested in a support telegram group for people who suffer from bad porn addiction, escalation in genres which causes extreme shame and make you suicidal, compulsive disorder etc.? I think together we are stronger than fighting alone against all this problems. I mean addiction itself...

So far although this hasn't been my longest streak it's been my strongest. It's been 12 days & I haven't done any intentonial peeking, anytime i've worried about length I snapped out of it (only twice so far), and I haven't done any intentional peeking (prostate, or regular). However, because...

Watching this guys videos helped me enormously:

Hi guys, so eh, I have a lot of Issues and I believe it was finally time to talk and search for help, specially seeing how supportive everyone is in there, so first I would apologize for my English as is not my first languaje; second a warning of sort, gonna talk about transwomen/traps and some...

hey guys, so I'm writing this to start over again and journal myself. so I started watching porn when im just a 12 year old boy going through images. And i became aware of my porn addiction in 2019 i was so consumed by it, it left me broken after a break up with my girlfriend. it affected my...

I really have nowhere else to go, so I’ll try to seek help from this community. I little background about me. I have always crushed on girls and been attracted to them and today I am happily married to my wife. About 10 years ago I started mastubating to crossdressing/trap hentai and have been...

120 days PMO free. When I started this adventure, I didn't know that I was dealing with 2 problems: - Watching porn and, - HOCD Quitting porn went with ups and downs. But I dragged myself through. If you ask me now have you gotten rid of your porn addiction? That answer is still No. But I have...

Quick notes about future topics: I think I'm going to cover HOCD themed topics within the near future. If they make you feel uncomfortable, feel free to skip them. But Nofap has given me the ability to speak more freely about this crap in my life that I'm trying to remove. I'm more "open" with...

So I haven't started a streak yet, Im just curious about something. So I used to test myself a lot regarding my sexuality. I guess you can call it HOCD. I consider myself Straight as I only want to have sex with women, but for some reason when I tested myself looking at pictures of men to see...

Okay, I need to write this here. This is the story of how it popped up. I was a happy straight guy, I only liked girls. Before watching porn, I remember searching nude photos of girls on the internet and my heart started to race very fast. I started watching porn at the age of 12 and it was...

Ever since I was twelve I have started to become aroused and then watch porn. I have started out with straight and lesbian porn. However, as time moved on I started to watch transwoman porn with the fetish of a prostate orgasm, and after watching a lot of that, I started to watch gay porn and boy...

I know that title is super clickbaity but I’m pretty desperate for advice. I'm gonna try and be as brief as possible so you'll read through, but I'll elaborate on anything, just let me know. I am over 6 months into nofap hard mode(doing school remote from home so not much opportunity for...

Hey all, I'm on day 6 of a new streak, and I've been thinking about the best way to go about NoFap in terms of dealing with thoughts and urges. I should give some context to my situation: I'm an 18-year-old male. I have been a heavy porn addict for at least 8 years or so; I started when I was...

So yesterday & today I had peeked at the same video of p. The first was out of urging & today I was trying to get an erection so I could measure my penis. However I struggled to even hold an erection for longer then seconds, & the only time i can "hold" an erection is ones that I get randomly...

The title already explains the problem and there's triggering content, sorry for that. I'll try to no get extended in triggering details, also not native speaker so I apologise in advance for my English. This is my situation. Somehow I got into crossdressing when I was young, about 13. Then I...

Im gonna be honest here, my source of my addiction is that I struggle with homosexual thoughts, and they are strongest at night when im about to sleep. To cope with this I watch porn so I can feel secure, but since I haven't been watching it the feeling comes full force and I lose control. Im...

This is like the first chapter of a success story. I would say I am about 95% of the way to where I need to be. However I am still not perfect. I suffered from extreme porn escalation for all my teenage life. Since the day I had PIED with a girl, I developed terrible HOCD which fucking sucked...

Hello and welcome to the Sexual Orientation OCD / HOCD recovery challenge log! *Important note:* This is not a place to seek constant reassurance. Seeking it once when you arrive, if the following information I provide below isn't enough, will be allowed. After that, you have to accept it and...

Hello out there! Good to know I’m not alone.. First time caller long time listener. I’ve been somewhere along the NoFap scale for a little while now but never reached out or posted in the community. Longest run on hard mode was for around 2 months but ended with a positive intimate...

I didn't plan to write this post, but here it goes. I've been on NoFap for 31 days now and I haven't noticed many benefits. There again, I am currently in the middle of a flatline. I wanted to post more on here, but the flatline made me feel as though everything was hopeless and that everything...

just as the title says I've successfully eliminated porn and can easily resist urges but I still am struggling with masturbation, I may find myself going through erotic gay pages on instagram and fap to them sometimes (I have porn induced HOCD) The thing is, I am an artist, I work with Nude...

Year 2019 was for me a time of extreme escalation and probably all time lowest point in my mental health, self esteem etc. I developed sissy fetish, I felt strong need for sexual submissiveness, I was thinking that I might be trans or gay and my life might just turn 180 degrees any moment. I...

I am cleaning my virtual houses, Offshore and onshore. I am doing my best when I ready stuff here!! I want to heal. I just prayed to God and thank him for the strength of passing my mouse cursor selecting the drug, viewing the snippets, and not falling into PMO !! thank God, I could select and...

Please since last month I started talking to some few friends about my porn addiction and how it Give me a bad feeling and H OCD (which is a symptom porn addiction from what I saw on youtube and some mental health blogs). I don't have the means nor resources to have a proper medical diagnostic...

Hello! I'm making this forum in order to talk about my mental health like HOCD aka SO-OCD. I'm a girl and straight, or could be bi-leaning straight. I don't remember when my HOCD started, but I think it happened at the end of July, like words telling me "what a sexy female body", "this girl is...

guys I don't know what to do anymore I'm fighting against fetish porn induced and HOCD I'm at 100 days but yesterday and today yesterday I dreamed of my fetish of which today I woke up semi excited by it I don't know what to ask so many questions circulating in my head. .. is it a relapse...

guys I don't know what to do anymore I'm fighting against fetish porn induced and HOCD I'm at 100 days but yesterday and today yesterday I dreamed of my fetish of which today I woke up semi excited by it I don't know what to ask so many questions circulating in my head. .. is it a relapse...

Hey all, anonymous newbie here. This intro might seem long and meandering. Despite the pain and the joys in this story it is far from a complete telling of my life's tribulations. Not asking for any pity at all; I just needed some perspective even if that was me simply typing something out for...

So I started going to therapy to try and help myself out and thought I would ask you guys to see if there really is a connection. In plenty of psychology websites they talk about how trauma in early childhood can lead to addictions of all kinds. My mom was very hard on me. Like very strict. She...

First to say hello to everyone on this site and to everyone who is reading this post at the moment. 3-4 years ago, I have posted a success story, please read it before you read this, otherwise reading this has not much sense...

Hello again. (graphic+long) I thought I conquered the beast by March (with the help of this community), and then the quarantine happened. I lost about three months of progress and staying on track, and I’ve not been able to keep a streak since. My first encounter with porn was at 8 years old...

Hey everyone, I've been around nofap community for about half a year. While at start I had a significant improvement (measured by relapes\setbacks), I believe now I'm about where I've started, with greater knowledge of course. Relapsed a few hours ago, so I've decided to try to write my story...

I'm been PMOing since 11 years old till now (22). I was addicted to straight/lesbian porn, and somewhere along the way I found transwoman porn and eventually gay porn. Now gay porn is the thing that arouses me most. I discovered nofap and hocd stuff around 2 weeks ago and have tried numerous...

Hey there! So I'm currently new to NoFap but have been trying to reboot for the past months. Latest streak was 6 days but relapsed today. I'm 19 years old and about to enter university. So the reason why I decided to participate in NoFap is to do a reboot of myself because for the past couple of...

Im 17 amd have hocd. I used to go on twitter and grindr and trade pictures of my body and somtimes face. I even lost my first kiss to a trans person. Ive done alot of gross things. Im considering suicide please help

Hi everyone. Nice to meet you all. Basically I 19 year old male in University. I have been watching porn since i was 12 years old. I have not been sexually active at all until last year when i came to university. My first kiss was in university too. I have had sex with 5 girls till now and i...

Hey there, I’m new to this community and have been plagued by porn addiction and escalation. I also have HOCD to which it plays a huge role. I was wondering if there were any other HOCD sufferers or past sufferers with porn addiction who can private message me. I’m just sorta looking to speak...

This is gonna be a long post so fair enough if you dont wanna read it. Ill start with a bit of backstory. Ever since i was a young age i had been obsessed with women and their bodies, from the age of 8 i would search of actresses naked and boos etc. on google. When I turned about 10-11 i found...

The worst thing about my withdrawals are the constant Hocd thoughts,I can't control my brain. During this period and let me not start on the feelings of guilt, shame, fear... I'm never giving up though, May God help me come out better

So I've Been Diagnosed With HOCD Recently and im on meds to tackle this situation. After having no anxiety and stress i started to enjoy gay fantasies but i don't watch gay porn and any kind of porn. I've been straight since i was a kid but after having hocd i started to like gay fantasies and...

So because of hocd i keep rechecking myself couldn't stop. So because of this i keep thinking of my past and i counted how many things ive done. Like I've done 10 gayish things and 10-11 straight things. Always had feelings for females. I remember when i used to love my female teacher, my...

So i was dealing with anxiety and stress. Then i started hating my feminine male friend somehow i want to punch him in the face idk why. I can't throw him out of my mind. Its just i started hated him from my gut. I woke up he was still on my mind. Im afraid that i will start loving him smh

Last Night I The Anxiety And Stress Attacked Again It Made Me To Think And Masturbate About My Friend I Finished But I Didn't Cum. I Feel More Stressed And Regretfull Now. this hocd is ruining my life and career I can't even focus on anything i just wanna lay down and think about compulsion and...

So this is my third post i just wanna share my thoughts and experiences. So in last 2019 and 2020 i was alone and couldn't meet my girlfriend for some reasons. So i want to experiment on myself what if i like fucking my friend whose a little feminine i imagined about him and started masturbating...

So after 15 days of dealing with symptoms of hocd as i said in my last post i was super sexual in my childhood so i could fuck everything backthen. Now the anxiety had gone since 2 days but the thoughts of being gay and having sex with a guy or date guy is still there but i cannot accept or even...

So Here's My Life Story I Was Very Sexually Active In My Childhood. I got introduced to porn when i was 10-11 i was excessively watching porn since then of its not porn i imagine myself having sex with a girl. When i was 11-12 years old i used watch porn in male cousin's home cuz he had internet...

So its only been a week of no porn and since last ejaculation and it hasnt been a great week. HOCD is still there and feels very strong. Obviously a week isnt enough but it at least think the HOCD will settle a lot more. It has weakened but still very strong convincing me being gay when i am...

Hi I recently had one post up prior to this but I missed a lot of statements and things I missed before. To start i’ve been trying to stop mater bating for a while and so far it hasn’t been going well for example i’ve always had a liking for cum tributes more on the sense of the pictures and cum...

Reached day 50 no pmo. This journey has been like a sine wave in terms of difficulty, a week or more of feeling good and the other weeks feeling depressed. At the start I was viciously depressed and then from day 20-30 I felt amazing and now I feel depressed but strong enough to handle it if...

So when masturbating I say things and wonder “Why did I say that?” & reading about the Freudian slip and wondering is this what I really want and am, or is it my addicted mind playing tricks on me to keep looking at porn to keep seeing if it is and keep escalating. As it is causing me a concern...

I need some serious help right now. I am really hoping its HOCD that I have got because i hope to god i am not gay. I woke up this morning thinking i was extremely gay and i loved men, never happened like this before. Usually these thoughts are disgusting but it feels as if I want it and like...

I, as well as many others that are trying to reboot have escalated into watching extreme pornographic content. Some of these people including myself have gotten HOCD from it. Now recently I relapsed three times after a 70 day streak and it left me shattered. But i believe that I figured out the...

Okay so I have and am currently struggling with HOCD. It is hard for me but I wanted to try something for you guys to see if you could use this as help. At the moment it isnt easy for me so I decided to put myself through something hard just to report bad. Basically I looked at a few pictures of...

LONG POST Im about 5 days away from what they say is the reboot stage. But I honestly dont feel a difference, that said we are in quarantine and I dont know the extent of whats become of me just yet. I have a pretty cute barber and it felt very similiar to how it was before and my interactions...

First I would like to mention I know I am straight but its getting harder, HOCD hits me more and more and becomes more convincing, its not just sexual now, images of my doing something in the kitchen with a husband/boyfriend watching tv hit me hard today. I would never be with a man. I am with a...

I'm a 32 year old male. I am very new to nofap and am just now realizing that i am addicted to porn. I knew I used it a lot but never thought of it as an addiction. I was introduce to it when I was about 9 with magazines and it progressed to highspeed internet porn. And it was straight or...

I am a 15 year old boy struggling a lot recently with HOCD. I know im young and still in puberty and probably being overdramatic. I have been watching porn since i was about 11 and have always identified as straight and always liked girls (a lot). I am currently in a relationship with a girl I...

I keeps coming back sometimes hard sometimes not so hard. I have given up porn and masturbating, whilst its only been a week and a half I want this gone. How long did it take all of you guys individually to get it finally gone? It makes me want to break up with my girlfriend when i dont want...

When I was about 12 years old i started watching porn, usually just lesbian and sometimes straight but never any gay ever. Im now 15 and have developed some kind of HOCD. It started around my 15th birthday and lasted a couple weeks. I realised porn was trapping me so i stopped for a while. Then...

I tried posting this on the reddit but for whatever reason it instantly got removed by moderators. This in no way discriminates anyone with different sexualities. This is simply a post that is aimed at helping people who suffer from porn induced hocd to see through their anxiety and realise that...

One night I was sitting in my room and I was like, what if i kissed my best friend. After this event I went out of control trying to prove myself wrong by looking at gay porn to constantly telling myself im not gay. This took over my life and the amount of stress that was caused was unbearable...

Dear fellow fapstronauts! (This text was earlier also posted in the 30-39 Forum) I’m a 34 year old Swedish man. Married and father of three (soon four) children. I joined NoFap two days ago, after trying to free myself from PMO and porn addiction since last October (seven months ago). I have...