shame

Let me start this off by saying, I was introduced to porn at a very young age (maybe 8-9, currently 18 years old) I’ve been addicted to pornography for the past decade nonstop, before I even knew how to ejaculate. During elementary years, I’d go to my friends house and me and my friend would...

I'm really sick and tired of my libido given I don't want to indulge in it. For me it's not as much as a p*rn issue as it is an imagination/fantasy problem. I understand this is common given my age (19), and it probably doesn't help that I'm stressed most times and always...

Some short thoughts: + I don't carry a lot of shame in me anymore. + Urges are moderate. If they emerge I realize it very soon and am strong and routined enough to not act on them but shut off whatever let them arise. + I sometimes get glimpses of the euphoric and wonderful feeling I often...

Hello fellow nofappers. I thought I'd check in to journal this fight I'm STILL fighting, register some minor victories and ask anyone if they have any advice about my situation. I'm 28, been trying to go 90 days seriously for around a year and a half now, have experienced what I think is...

I want to start by saying that I feel like the guy at narcotics anonymous who is a pot smoker. My struggle with porn seems minor compared to many, but it has been a painful, shameful part of my life and I feel grateful to share. I started masturbating in my early teen years. It was incredibly...

I'm a 25 year old man who always thought of myself as straight. Around 3 years ago I started going on apps like grindr anonymously and eventually started meeting with other men. At this point I accept that I am bisexual. But I really do think that if porn hadn't been a major part of my sexual...

Hello, I have struggled with porn since I was a teenager. My longest relationship has only been 7 or so months in the course of my life and I am very afraid of being in a committed relationship. Due to certain factors I also have quite significant mental health issues. I have been abstinent...

I have a problem. I'm a creep. I don't know what to do about it. My fetishes unfortunately revolve around being a little bit of a creep. They revolve around turning something innocent into something sexual and manipulating women into believing they are engaging in the innocent version of these...

Hello, I'm newbie here. Not sure if I need to stop or not. I'm 28 years old and that's my story. I don't know if it's normal or not. I fap once a day. Every day. Sometimes twice, but not more. Fatigue and low motivation and others are my close friends but I'm not sure if masturbation's their...

Last 2 weeks were pretty hard for me, i am talking mostly about job. I work remote, there is shortage of people in my team, senior people dont want to help, and i am responsible for finishing work quickly on some sort of technology where i (and my entire) team have very limited knowledge of...

I started nofap about 7 months ago, I had been fapping daily for about 3 years before that. I consistently progressed throughout this year, and managed to only pmo four times in june and july combined. in the last week, however, I've relapsed completely. It feels like I've gone entirely back to...

This is my first Thread, so if this does not belong in this category, please tell me. I am 19 years old, and i have been addicted to porn for about 10 years now. Most of the things i`ve seen have been things not involving real humans, as in Rule 34 and E621. I`ve seen it all, Furry, Loli...

I hope this thread can serve you all in releasing your shame and be an inspiration to start living the life you really want. I've been doing a good amount of self reflection and ruminating this week. My thoughts became so negative I began thinking I might actually be retarded or somehow...

Please help me. I am stuck and can't break from this cycle of guilt and lust (towards porn). I try, but every time I am overpowered by the urge to get a quick relief, get it over with as the imagery keeps on disturbing my thoughts my focus in whatever I am doing, only to fall in a deep dark well...

Hello Guys, I've been doing PMO since I was 13 or so. I'd developed severe PIED, had many sex attempts, but always failed. Here are my previous threats: 110 days - https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/day-110-pmo-free.323495/ 130 days -...

Hello Like the title says when i was 14 i went on the darknet to look for cp..... i was pretty tech-savvy so it wasn't to hard to find, i went looking for it because at the time i had the ''excuse'' to want to look at girls my own age. Fair warning for anyone reading im not gonna sugercoat it...

Hi, I am new to this forum and wasn't sure whether this thread should go here or in Problematic Sexual Behavior. Please let me know or simply move it if I chose wrong. Thanks Does anyone have words of advice or input? Or been through something similar?

Hi, I was just wondering if anyone has had the experience of being publicly shamed or had their online nudes/fetishes discovered? I belonged to an online site allowing users to share nude photos and chat etc., essentially an erotic instagram. I had been posting there a few years and express...

Newbie here- not to porn, but to this site. As far as porn, I have watched it all kinds. I am tired of it, I wanted to start 2022 without porn and I failed so here it is 19 days in to the new year. I am ashamed and embarrassed. I have a family, wife & kids. What I do behind closed doors is awful...

I'm not going to go into my full journey and backstory, that'll be for another day. I have the same general backstory that most have here. Here's where I'm at right now: 23 years old, longest streak was 180 days and I just recently slipped up after a 56-day streak. As I told someone in a...

In the last post, I embarked on the beginning of my reboot journey, sharing the history of my relationship with porn since a very young age, and what suddenly changed a couple of weeks ago. I've successfully completed 8 days today. Yay to me! In this post, I thought I'll share some observations...

Are you interested in a support telegram group for people who suffer from bad porn addiction, escalation in genres which causes extreme shame and make you suicidal, compulsive disorder etc.? I think together we are stronger than fighting alone against all this problems. I mean addiction itself...

Does anyone have any insight in moving on from shame from your addiction? I'm on my fourth day which I know is still very early, but it’s been a heavy, emotional week. Gf of 3 years and I split up and, of course, porn was a factor even though it was never directly said. So I’ve tried use this...

Hello, before I start, I'd like to say that I'm a new user and only have a rudimentary grasp of the rules. I hope I don't break any rules by posting this thread. (I'll leave a TL;DR for those who are short on time...or are just lazy like myself haha.) Right now it's 2:34 AM and I'm once again...

I had been going strong for 3+ weeks, felt great. Had Superb Confidence, seen a huge jump in energy, and i was finally getting out there and talking to some girls that i had liked. Untill today, woke up sore and with body aches. My whole body was down bad, so i decided to just stay home and...

Ever since I was 9 years old I was attracted to fat women [This was not porn induced] I was at a party with my family and I saw a fat woman who I thought was very attractive yet I spent years trying to keep this "desire" hidden especially from my mother who claims to be progressive and forward...

Guys, I just don't know what to do... please help me. maybe to read something, I am relapsing again and again. I tried to have a journal there, and on the others forums, I tried to participate in challenges, I even tried to pray, I tried to go to Sexoholics Anonymous... nothing helps, I am...

Hello, I have been porn free since sometime in the middle of April, and I gave up masturbation starting April 25. I have not reset once. I was very proud of myself, thinking that I could do all of this by myself. I had visited NoFap and read some resources and stories and whatnot, but I didn't...

Can you guys relate to this: Thursdaynight: Crazy urges at an 21 day streak, suddenly jerking of after peaking a little at some photographs. In a bright moment, i stopped. Did not cum, jerked for hours. Fridaynight: Urges are killing me, dick is tingling. Decide to jerk of again to get the...

Hi fellas :) I'm 23 years old, and today decided to do something with my porn and mastrubation addiction and found out about nofap. i dont have any romantic or sexual experience, and never really brought myself to chat up with girls. i tend to get frightened by this and saying to myself that i...

Hi everyone, I am a new Fapstronaut. I a freshman now, but I think I am addicted to masturbation. I really want to stop, because I know masturbating is affecting my concentration and my life. I am a straight A's student, but my addiction makes it very difficult for me to concentrate and get...

feel better about yourself now??? cause if you think you are a wreck, i'd wish i was you cause i dont know what i am... there's more to the list, I have morphed some of my female friends photos and wanked off to it (and deleted it on spot), Watched bestiality and wanked to it, and the only thing...

she's long gone man.. its been more than six months and she had blocked me after 2 months(without me ever texting or bothering her ) . right after the breakup i was all better , I had a good streak for 60 something days and i was exercising and setting and accomplishing goals, life is indeed...

so deep is my sorrow and dissapointment that I don't even know how to begin. I can't even believe how I could relapse in a such way, anyways. Everything started when my Thoughts about my Exgirlfriend came back just as the sun rises, I got up and Took my phone to watch her whatsapp pic I know...

Still do kind of. So much so I can't even write out all the details of my issue. The shame is so powerful I can't be entirely forthright with you here anonymously. I think I could admit it all to a therapist but I have no plans on seeing one. I mean I have admitted it before to one and it made...

Hi, I put this thread into the problematic sex forum yesterday but of course it equally fits here so I hope you will forgive my repetition. I've summarised everything I wrote so far below, any comments would be very gratefully received. I basically wonder who has tried hypnosis as a way to help...

Hi all, I've never actually contributed to this forum before but the more I have read, the more I see the same issues coming up over and over again to do with shame, guilt, powerlessness, anger, frustration and so on and so on. So many people looking for solutions to fix their symptom, but the...

Hello everyone, I have been mostly porn free since around May with two slip ups. But I am beginning to question whether I was addicted to porn in the first place or if I am denying my kink. I have always been into women that were well endowed in the chest, as long as I can remember that has been...

The worst thing about my withdrawals are the constant Hocd thoughts,I can't control my brain. During this period and let me not start on the feelings of guilt, shame, fear... I'm never giving up though, May God help me come out better

I had an awakening after watching some things that disgusted me once the fog of desire had lifted. The imagery is at the forefront of my mind right now and I'm really worried that I've done some kind of lasting damage to my mind. I'm currently on the road to rebooting but the path seems long and...

In my home, because of the religion (islam) and culture, there was never talked about sex. I learned it all from porn. I started watching at the age of 11. But it was not a good lesson for me. Porn never teached how real sex should be. I learned to have instant gratification. I watched those...

Porn/Sex addiction is a taboo to talk about, but it is more common than we think. These days a lot of people struggle about it, but not so many people are open about this, because of shame. I have struggled with sex addiction (porn, prostitutes, swingerclubs, sexparties) and always felt a shame...

What i have found is the best benefit of NoFap, is that i don’t have a double life anymore. Before I had a double life and kept my life secret from everybody. I was very ashamed of my habit. Due the shame I didn’t maintain close friendships or began an relationship, was very closed as a person...

I was clean for 400 days and then relapsed (3 months ago) since then i always keep relapsing after a week or two.. I just relapsed again with porn and orgasm. Help guys, i feel like shit again I felt amazing this entire day and now that i fapped again it got worse. Worst relapse I've had today

hi guys , i relapsed after 17 days and i binged in this relapse till my shoulder hurts and as usual i feel that i wanna relapse today because every time i relapse, i find my self want to relapse more but i resist this feeling . and i have mood swing sometimes i accept what i did and other times...

I've been struggling recently because of guilt and shame over how extreme the porn I used got over the years. I've started getting much better at avoiding porn altogether, but now that I've started getting my life back on track, I'm beginning to see how my past actions might affect me. In the...

Picture yourself sitting at an empty table. Now add a good friend, real or imagined, sitting by your side. Maybe add one or two more. Guys you know and trust. You just know they care about you, want you to be happy, competent and strong. They accept you the way you are with your quirks and...

This may be a question for the more advanced people here: after you managed to get rid of your PM habits, how do you learn to forgive your past you? I feel like I’m getting better and better in saying no to P, but feel like my past keeps haunting me. Especially because I used to PM while alone...

Last night my wife went to hang out with some friends of ours from work (we work together). Since she was going to be with them I decided to go to my buddies house to chill with him. He frequently smokes weed and almost always does when I'm over there. My wife and I were both raised in a very...

I've been practising NoFap for about 6 months now, and I have only been able to reach 17 days. A big reason for my relapses is the shame I feel about myself. I want to shift from feeling ashamed about who I am, and instead feeling guilty from my actions, and being able to detach myself from...

I'm new to the site and am extremely anxious about the experience. But here goes... I have been viewing pornography since age 11, on and off as my access has been restricted throughout the years. I was doing fairly well from 19 to 21 but started relapsing a few times a week. After getting...

Hi guys, I've been addicted do porn since I was 16 years old, today I'm 29. It all began when I started to have acess to high-speed internet. I remember back then, when I was in high school, all my classmates were going to parties and started dating with girls, and on the other hand, I was just...

I'm tired of PMO-ing every time I feel guilty or see something provocative. My inner critic is TOO LOUD. I'm 31 and cannot shut these thoughts. Guilt from staring a bit longer at a woman, guilt from procrastination, being late to a social gathering, not answering someone's phone call or message...

I realized many years ago I "can't" quit porn, and I have tried to quit porn a thousand times, always updating my strategy in order to not fail again. Still, I eventually relapse. Sometimes I wonder if I don't have enough motivation (after the post-relapse dissappointment fades) since I do not...

I'm currently on day 5, so no big achievement in terms of abstinence but I think I've hit a personal breakthrough that I wanted to share here. I went on a binging period of about 2 weeks before the beginning of September, and was feeling hopeless about not having enough will to get rid of this...

Hi all, I was listening to this podcast called PornFreeRadio where the host talks about how being anonymous perpetuated feelings of loneliness and shame and made it way easier to relapse. I was wondering if there was any truth to that and if any of you guys had experience not being anonymous...

Hey all! First of all I want to say that the nofap community is such a well educated, intelligent community and it feels good to have access to a such a group of people all driven towards self improvement!. I'd like to explain my situation so far. My relationship with PMO goes to the age of 13...

First off I am trying to leave porn behind for almost 2 years.I told two of my friends about my struggle. One of them started telling other people ( which are my friends too but I am not so close to them). So anyway I found out when one of friend told me that people know I am addicted to...

Dear brothers, It is becoming really necessary to me to tell what it has been happening during the las 30 days. Probably the most intense 30 days in my whole existence. When l used to think about a short period of time in the past l was quite oblivious about the events and facts, everything was...

Hello, Let me introduce myself, im a elderly man with a wonderful partner and a grandchild and a wonderful supportive family, and for the most part im happy but here is my shame that my partner has endured for many many years, I have tried to give up going to these cam chat sites and each time I...

Loneliness,physical and emotional can be overwhelming.I get very conscious of my own loneliness late at night and first thing in the morning. It can be overwhelming and I get very bitter and angry about my single status. At times I masturbate in order to relieve this loneliness.I get a fleeting...

This is just a vent to express in the moment that loneliness is super intense now, but to solve it requires managing shame feelings. So I get stuck. I know many ideas and strategies but unable to access them today. Drinking and a porn chat binge on July 4th alone didn't help. I will probably...

I'm writing this to all the people new to NoFap and those struggling to make meaningful progress on your path to recovery. I hope this advise will help you at least to some extend. Try not to look at NoFap as a x number of days challenge, but rather as stepping and walking on your path to...

Hi everyone. I’ve been using porn as a transitional “moment filling” experience since I was a very young man. Years of re-enforcement led quickly to a compulsive masturbation habit that continues to this day. I’m 70 now, and am plagued by a host of serious health issues, including prostate...

Celebrated my dear mother today, and I know not everyone has a great relationship with their moms, but I recognize that one of the people hurt most by my struggle with porn is my own mom :/ And she was one of the first people I lied to about my struggle with porn. Lied to her face. On multiple...

Well, to start off I'm 25 years old and my name is Dave I'm currently in a relationship with my girlfriend we have been together for over a year now. Before I met her I was deep into my porn addiction and my taste got warped into transwoman stuff and occasionally gay porn but primarily transwoman...

For the past 7 days I’ve been going strong without PMO, the problem is 3 days ago I was getting flashbacks of when I did some not so good things. When I first turned 17 i had a 39 day streak going until a sudden urge hit me. But it was different, I wanted something different. The different thing...

I admitted to my wife that I'm addicted to porn on Saturday night. Since then, it's been a struggle for the two of us to communicate, and it feels like every time we have spoken, some new piece of information to her has emerged that has pushed her even further away. The result of this is that I...

Hi Fellow Fapstronauts, I’m 33 and have been married for nearly four years, in a relationship for five. I have two daughters. Last weekend at a friend’s wedding I got extremely drunk. I remember trying to have sex with my wife in our hotel room one minute, and the next thing I knew I was on...

Hello everybody, and this might be a dumb question because I'm new at this, but after much research I have concluded that I have PIED, and am scared to death... I don't wanna be this way for the rest of my life, and I certainly don't want to live with the shame of not being able to get it up for...

So you stop fapping, your health impoves, you become more confident, maybe you start working out, maybe you start eating healthy. You haven't fapped in quite some time now, you're getting your shit together. No longer do you see an addict in the mirror as much as a "Fighter". Superpowers right...

hi . I am new here . i have been suffering with porn addiction since a very long time . it has literally destroyed my life . I have a very low self esteem and I find it hard to socialize because i am so ashamed of my self ...

I work as an on-road technician. So few people pay attention to me during the work day that ive spent lunch breaks in my company vehicle (unmonitored) watching P. Ive even indulged in M a few times. This is so low for me! Its never been this bad before. This is in public now. I could lose my...

So i'm still trying to break the habit, and i have relapsed multiple times. But i feel like i am having more trouble with guilt and shame rather than trying to not relapse. Just thinking about fapping to all that disgusting porn that i did makes me horrified. Every time i feel somewhat good, i...

English is not my first language, hope it makes sense anyway So basically I am reading this book called No more Mr. nice guy by Robert Glover, and in this specific chapter he talks about how sexual shame and fear are some of the biggest reasons as to why nice guys rarely have satisfying sex...

I made a new years resolution to not use PMO entering 2019, it was going good and strong for 14 days. In those days i had some serious urges and was very close to relapsing but i held back and told my self it wasn't worth it, because it really isn't worth using PMO. On the 14 day is when i...

Beautiful wife. Good sex life. Great kids. Involved in church. Connected to real friends I confess my sins to, including porn use. I'm the model of a Christian guy who has it together, right? WRONG Get dirty, confess, rinse, wash, feel clean, resolve. Get dirty, confess, rinse ... You get the...

What do you guys think about slut shaming? A few people call me a bitch and a fag because I like sucking. I don't know how to respond sometimes.

Hi, I'm new here. I just began with NoFap a few days ago. I disclosed my porn habit to my partner early on in our relationship. The problems my addiction created have been present under the surface the whole time but only recently have those problems really surfaced. She called me out on the...

I am 20 years old boy , watching porn and masturbating for the last 5 years. I am so addicted to this habit. After I relapsed i feel so horrible, tired and guilt that why I watching porn and relapsed. I Cannot stop this addiction. My family and relatives makes fun of me that U are very shy...

Hiya guys, I actually found this site while looking for porn and it really looked great so I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm a 23 year old who's been partaking in porn and masturbation for many many years. I got hooked on porn at a young age when I was honestly just curious about it, then it...

I am lonely because I am ashamed of some of the things I have done. This shame creates anxiety in me. The anxiety I live with makes it difficult to form intimate relationships. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to this feeling... If you are lonely right now I encourage you try and...

Just a quick few bullet points from an article I thought I’d share. I encourage others to read these bullet points and just try to think about them without judging yourself (bad or good). Really try to see them and see who you are behind these images or conditions you’ve put yourself in...

So I'm a 24 year old New Yorker desperately looking for a way out of my addiction. I had an account here before I believe but I deleted cause I felt like I wasn't going anywhere with it. Anyways I need help getting rid of my addiction to fetish videos and other content online. I've been trying...

Hi, everyone. I am here because I don't feel healthy compulsively masturbating all the time. It has lead me to do things I'm ashamed of and it has lead me to isolate from my wife. We haven't had sex in about 15 months. Until about a month ago, I thought it was due to her admitted low sex drive...

How do you deal with the shame of your addiction? How are you overcoming it? Have you overcome it? How is it holding you back? What are the tools you are using or have used? How long has (was) this a struggle for you? Edited to add: How has the shame and/or guilt of your addiction affected...

I went to an SAA meeting yesterday. The one thing that I found was that, when people were sharing, all of them were sharing some sort of shame, and most of them were explaining how it feels good to talk about that shame, to let it go, to speak it out loud. I wonder what role shame REALLY plays...

Now that I am becoming clean of the addiction, I read and I learn more about the backgrounds of pornstars and prostitutes. So today I opened my app Brainbuddy and I read the downside of pornography: For viewers, pornography can appear to be a fantasy world of pleasure and thrills. For those...

Good day to you all. Today I read, and not for the first time, Sonnet 129 by William Shakespeare. I thought I would re-post it for you all to enjoy. To be truthful, few inadvertently summed up PMO more aptly than this playwright. Enjoy. Sonnet 129 The expense of spirit in a waste of shame Is...

I tend to over analyze things. I tend to take things out of context. I tend to express myself with reckless abandonment and sure.... I want to be loved. Doesn't everyone? I am buried in deep deep shame. My life is a shameful work of art. Everytime I quit porn I am scared to go out... I fear...

TRIGGER WARNING Following the advice of Dr Glover's book, No More Mr Nice Guy i am attempting to fix many things about myself which have been contributing to my general unhappiness and shoddy sex life. One of these things is exposing every aspect of my sexual self to safe supportive people...

So obviously, I’m new here. But up until this evening, I haven’t taken the time to really do some proper research on what I’m dealing with here. I’ve been told I’m inherently selfish and that it’s my responsibility to continuously allow myself to experience shame and guilt for the betrayal my...

Perhaps you could call me a late bloomer. I was the one in the group to laugh at M jokes but have no idea what it was about, until I was almost 20 years old. When I did decide I wanted to know, all I could find was a brief and rather simple explanation. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone I knew...

My whole life I was told that my physical symptoms were just "anxiety". That my many rushes to the ER due to chest pains were merely just "in my head" a "waste of time and money". My last doctor looked at the brown streaks on my toenail and said "oh that's nothing we can just prescribe you...

So I was watching some YouTube social experiments on gold diggers. Usually in which the guy asks a girl out, gets rejected and the girl chases after him after he flexes his money. I'm not saying every woman is like that. But on the other hand, I couldn't find many of these however if a woman...

im a guy that just wants to get rid of watching porn and masterbation .it has effected my life but i didnt know until now like i get angry too fast and i cant control my emotions and i yell at my mom when she just told me to do my homework rather then satying on "the computer".I wish that i...

Hi fellow fapstronauts, I'd like to ask you if you have experienced and how you resolve feeling of guilt during your reboot. I've met with my old college mate today. She has a lot of things going on in life, nice partner, career in law, great social life... I couldn't help myself but to become...

I am 62. Been masturbating and consuming porn since i found those naked women cards my dad had, before i could even ejaculate. It has been insidious and always present, some times more, sometimes less, but internet just blew it all out of proportion and has interfered with my life a lot, mostly...

1. For years, I have used P to soothe emotional distress. This is a problem. I "quit" several times with varying degrees of success. But ultimately, I slide back into it when times get tough. Beating this bad habit is essential to my life - physically, mentally, emotionally. 2. Continuing to...

Today I had planned to ask out a beautiful girl that I know at church. I wanted to keep it casual; simply ask if she may have wanted to meet after church for lunch or something. I had no trouble speaking to her normally, but I could not bring myself to ask the question. I was far too horrified...