suicide

Introduction It all started back in 2018. I was sitting at a computer at college, browsing MGTOW content on YouTube, as I had been doing since two years prior to that point. That day (which was in April), I saw some interesting looking videos in the recommendations feed to the right of the...

I'm officially at my breaking point. I'm 35 (holt shit) and I'm dealing with soul crushing loneliness. It's at a point where I'm reaching new depths of depression I didn't know were possible. It's to the point where I'm just losing hope. When time keeps passing by, and nothing changes, despair...

TL;DR: Porn won, I want to die. Stop with your bullshit about beauty of life and my potential, there isn’t any and I don’t have any. Better tell me, what’s the best way to prepare my parents mentally for my death? Before you start with your self help bullshit and tell me that you simply have to...

I feel like all my hard work has gone to shits . I had 49 days of clean time . I jacked Off this morning and my d1ck wasn’t even hard . I had an orgasm with a soft one . What led me to this was I was seeing someone , we hadn’t attempted sex yet but she left me last week to go back to her...

I wish I could just end things right now. Just leave this world and stop being a burden to all the people i know. I failed as a student as a son as a boyfriend. I just don't have anything to live for. I wish I knew a painless way to end all of this. To stop bothering people once and for all. And...

I wish I could just end things right now. Just leave this world and stop being a burden to all the people i know. I failed as a student as a son as a boyfriend. I just don't have anything to live for. I wish I knew a painless way to end all of this. To stop bothering people once and for all. And...

19f. I think this could be considered NSFL, not sure. I don't really know what I want with this post. Maybe just to vent to people that understand. I know this is a long post but please read it, I'm desperate for any sort of help at this point and it doesn't look like therapy is an option for...

You didn't misread. The fact that I'm posting here is only the result of my addiction and disease. I'm writing this as a way to express my emotions and feelings, as no one in my life knows that I'm suffering from porn addiction. I won't bore you with my story, you can read my previous posts if...

Without further ado. I don't feel like saying "Hi" and being positive, so I'm just gonna start. My porn addiction started probably when I was 12 or 13. If only I knew then how damaged and ruined I'll become by the time I'm 22, I would have probably never started to watch this shit. When I was...

I have so many things to tell and want a help. First of all I am an addict since I was in grade 4, but had very mild addiction, which increased just now, I fought this same battle and won a streak from April 2021 to October 2021. But got addicted again, and now with a very different practice, I...

Broke the 18 days streak today :( In need of a guide, and done it 2 times today, but it was started when I got into a triggering position during night, and was struggling with the urge since morning, and after 14 hours, done it 2 times at same time, really I think god is controlling me cuz since...

I know, sounds awful. But I give up. I don’t know how all of you are doing this, but I simply can’t. No help, no friends, nothing. I feel like dying, Iwant that to be honest. Better thanthis constant madness of counting hours, minutes, days because I’m too afraid to quit it. Because it’s the...

I'm such a fuck up, you know what I'm tired of hearing? I'm tired of hearing my school counsellor or my soccer coach telling me shit like 'It's in your head', 'Get out of your own head' and the most useless of all 'Combat/Challenge those negative thoughts'. Surely, one would think, if they were...

I feel like I'm sentencing myself to hell right now, I hope you guys understand. I'm tired of acting like everything is okay, and I'm so destroyed from my actions and desires I've been having suicidal thoughts lately. Here's my story. I've been a slave to P since 12 maybe? Not too sure. Keep in...

Hi guys, I was listening to Jordan Peterson this morning. He talked about fears and their important place in setting up your life's goals. Anyone else here listen to Dr. Peterson? Anyway, he talked about having to place some fears behind you. To have them right hot on your tail. So they...

To any one reading, i am 31y male, wanted to minimise fap to around 7-30 days and sometimes altogether since i started at 15y of age. and since about 2y ago wanted to quit it altogether with only this main mission in life. like nothing else matters to me, this is my whole life. not to toot my...

I got to struct in my relapse cycle Buddy please I beg Ur feet brother this addiction is killing me day by day please help me out nor there is work I'm still college student due to lockdown I'm unable to go college and I'm all day inside home please buddy only u can understand my pain I have no...

Since this whole lockdown started around March 15th I've been for the most part, single.. For the most part most nights i was keeping myself warm.. Now as the year is wrapping up im reflecting.. finding positives and negatives about spending this year alone.. A positive is i know more about who...

Yes. It is true. I first fapped when I was just 8 years old. But first watch porn when I was 13 years old and after that I am never able to stop it. I came to knew about nofap when I turned 17. But at that time I was going through a difficult phase ( competitive exams + India ). So it just...

Hello. Firstly I would like to put a big TRIGGER WARNING on this post due to the dark, disturbing and explicit nature of my story. I really do not wish to upset, trigger or offend someone. This is the first time I am seeking help in a space like this, and I am very nervous in many ways, thank...

Today I really thought about the possibility of suicide, I think because I couldn’t see any improvement in relation to my addictions and that made me really sad, I thought I would never get out of it, I was always an introverted young man, always invisible in any social situation, it had good...

With the quarantine I'm stuck in a small apartment, and what I would call "my old demons" have invaded my mind again, stronger than ever. I had HOCD (couldn't label it back then of course) at the beginning of puberty: obsessive doubts about my sexual orientation, although I had, and have always...

After nofap, I have to admit, I was good at first, but over a month in, any my childhood Trauma came to the surface, and I couldn't take it anymore. First off, let me state this that I am holding up better now. I've been struggling badly. Today I attempted suicide. I came home, and I knew this...

Hey everyone :) I hope you all are having a nice first day of the rest of your lives. So today I want to share my NoFap story, and hopefully bring some hope and insight to people on a similar journey. I first tried to stop PMO when I was about 13 years old, after about a year of it. I was...

Hello body, my problem is : I am feeling so bad after doing masturbation because I remember a bad memories when I was 15, I feel depressed and very sad ; Sometimes I think about suicide. So I want to stop this bad habit forever. I just wanted to know if anyone else have a similar problem? and...

Living close to the edge for years didn't seem to change my underlying philosophy of life: I'm an exception. Months, years, and decades went by, and though my MO was always the "exception clause," (my porn use doesn't have any control on me), it continued to be the fix I'd eventually go back...

When people talk about porn or masturbation addiction, it's often assumed that this is about men. Few people think that women could have this problem. To some extent, this is understandable; the vast majority of porn and masturbation addicts on this site (and presumably elsewhere) are boys and...

today was the first day at school.. at the first two hours i really felt good, made 4 new friends, thing i never did before.. but at the interval i started to overthinking due my social anxiety, things like "am i walking weird or acting wrong?", also i noticed lack of memory too which gave me...

So.. I have started to do reboot challenge, and i abstained from PMO for 2 weeks. That was truely the longest time i have ever gone without PMO. Until now, my crush denied me, i was sad at that moment and i relapsed. After that i PMO continuously until now. And everyday i relapse i have negative...

Hello brothers, Just wanted to share my experience, strength, and hope in recovery that someone out there might benefit. I discuss the traumatic experiences before my addiction, my near death experience, and how everything changed after I came into recovery. Let me know if you have any other...

Hi, I am changing my life. Getting rid of PMO. Typical story with extra elements that might be different from similar stories. I've been struggling with PMO since I was probably 10-12, now I am almost 19 years old. Basically, firstly I used TV as a source to find any kind of female nudity and...

Hello guys, ( The counter is out of date. i have relapsed countless times ) Please i need advice. Since i got out of the psychiatric hospital almost 3 years ago, not even a single female has ever ever looked at me. I tried to go 8 days, and still no attraction. The worst part is that i am out of...

I have been addicted to porn for almost 9 years or maybe more (i do not remember!!!) I am 24 now. I have stopped PMO for almost 6 months and no improvement in memory were there. I have stopped again for almost 8 months and yet there was no improvement. I have started to believe that the damage...

1. Depression is a disease, not a personality trait. Even though science has proven it a million times over, our culture doesn’t yet fully recognize that MENTAL ILLNESS IS A BRAIN DISEASE, just like hepatitis is a liver disease. 2. Depression isn’t just sadness. [Some] imply that they know what...

I feel like there's no reason and no one is there for me to live my life here,I masturbate 3 times daily and after some time it got worse

Hey guys. As the title says, I'm extremely nervous about going back to school. I'm returning in 6 days and I'll be in 11th grade. I've always been extremely nervous about going back to school after any break, even the weekends. This is because I have an extreme social phobia. I want to go to a...

I never had a girlfriend.I got rejected 4 times.I am not confident.Maybe this world is not for me.I am a serious, a little bit aggressive and emotional person.I am perfectionist and I always move in a logical manner.In this world things doesn't work like I want.I started to find life...

Greetings fellow fapstronauts! I'm surely on my way to becoming a monk it seems. I have long discerned between two voices in my head: the “little voice” and the “big yeller.” The little voice is the voice of reason, your inner center of truth and higher self that wishes for you to grow...

I voyeured a very close friend of mine about 22 years ago. I wasn't until recently that I figured out that I might have got caught, because we haven't really spoken since then, and she has me completely blocked on Facebook. My sex addiction has improved since then, but as I write this I realize...

Once again I relapsed. I'm trying to stay dedicated. I feel like I'm getting worse. I've relapsed 3 times in the past 2 weeks. Why can't I just die alreadyyyyy

I have no friends Also no girlfriend, no job, not really a career that I know I will conclude (I am currently doing 2 careers and I want to drop off both) I am 21 y/o male from Argentina, just yesterday was my birthday and the most depressing birthday to this day. See, I don't want to be...

I've been having a problem with porn addiction for like 5 years now. I was about 13 or 14 when I first saw yiff art and over time... it's become like a disease. I've even gotten into seeing clop (which is porn of my little pony). I've even used to be apart of the brony fandom once, but I decide...

Hello everyone! :) My name is Milan,I'm 19 years all and I wish to share my story with all of you. As:English isn't my native language. :) I've been into PM ever since I was 10.I remember it like it was yesterday.One day after school I went straight to the living room to find something that my...

A guy posted a video where he was walking in this forest in Japan knowing what he was going to find and just for views, he had no respect for the dead and zoomed in a dead person who decided to kill himself/herself. and wtf is wrong with him to wear a hat like that in a place of desolation where...

Hi, I'm new to this site and this is my first thread. I need help and i'm looking for different perspectives so I can fix myself. I'm a 29 year old male virgin and its been bothering me for the past 9 or 10 years. i want a relationship and sex. Someone who knows and accepts me for who I am...

Hi everyone! I wish to remain anonymous but at the same time, I've got to share my story with you guys out there. I started masturbating when I was hardly 7 yrs old! I remember, I never masturbated with my hands until I turned 13 rather I used to press my privates against a bed or a wall! I had...

Hello friends.So as I said in my 25 yr old virgin post a few days ago,I joined the Army Reserves when I was 19 yrs old.I was already addicted to porn but stayed in shape enough to be able to join.For me the process of basic training was a huge relief for me,like a therapy.Waking up and always...

Watched this TED Talk yesterday and thought it'd help anyone who has suicidal thoughts. The great thing about it is that this woman is talking from experience, she's not some academic who's just studied the subject. If anyone needs to talk to anyone regarding suicidal thoughts here's some...

hello everyone, I guess we all have a story to tell so here is mine. I've been addicted to what y'all call PMO for 11 years. I was only 14 when I discovered it. I never had any relationship with a girl until after college. At the mention of a girl my parents would talk to me like a baby non...

Hi, I'm M! I'm new to the community but I've been wanting to do this for a long time. I have a porn and masturbation fixation. My father committed suicide the first week of March 2017, and as his only daughter, I have been dealing with his estate. It has made me realize that if I continue...

Hi Im trying to be healthy i need some soppurt i have depression almost suicide

Hi, Since my ex guy left me again 3 months ago I keep having the same dream in which I stab myself to death with a knife. I feel drowned by shame, sense of guilt due to my sex and porn addictions. We met after the breakup and we ended up having sex twice. When I saw him I was so happy. I loved...

Music is powerful. Don't lose faith or give up hope or forget there are good things in this messed up world. These songs are to uplift and encourage you to keep going. You are not alone. You are loved. I know it is hard to believe what I'm saying when it hurts so much right now. I understand and...

I am a new member to this community. It's been 13 hours since I joined and I haven't watched any PORN yet. I want to share this here because I have no one else to share this with. To begin I was a bright student when I was young. However, after discovering a CGI game with adult content I fell...

22 years old. Male. Lives at home with parents. No girlfriend ever. Virgin. So I'm trying to start this nofap journey again after disregarding it as hopeless before. I always say to myself "Why not, you have nothing, no one loves you, just make yourself feel good." In the end loneliness and...