Rainbow Warrior
Fapstronaut
Thank you my friend love you lots. Appreciate your advice and encouragement.. we will win. Power is within us!
✊6 Years Without PMO - Here's What Worked For Me!✊
- Thread starter JJackson
- Start date
Icewarrior
Fapstronaut
You've done so well. Need more energy? Try this:
1) When you're out on those walks try placing your bare feet on the grass for 15-30 minutes.
2) Combine this with a breathing exercise (Wim Hof method, for example, is simple) for even more energy.
3) Soak 2-4 dried dates in water overnight. First thing in the morning drink a small cup of hot water first, then eat the dates.
The above practices have other benefits too....for best results do them as often as possible. Patience, persistence and faith are you friends!
hey bro @JJackson i remember your username and posts from nearly 5 years ago. do you remember me?
soo good to hear from you and see you free and shining!!!!!!!
Bravo my friend you winner i knew you’d do well, i always knew from the first few posts i read of yours way back then, i knew that you were a champion
soo good to hear from you and see you free and shining!!!!!!!
Bravo my friend you winner i knew you’d do well, i always knew from the first few posts i read of yours way back then, i knew that you were a champion
JJackson
Fapstronaut
Yo I definitely remember you! You're actually the first person I responded to when I came back here, I think it's a post you left on my account page. Your words of encouragement honest to God never left me! My final relapse was within that month we talked. It really meant a lot! I hope you're doing well too! Thanks again for your help bro!
Edit: I responded to your 3.0 account, it's on my account page
100%… in order to stay the course, you should be living life and continuously improving, not stagnant. Too many regressive or bad days in a row and your chances of relapse increase exponentially. so if you are on a long streak and suddenly string a few bad non reproductive days, recognize when you’re in this mini slump and change up asap. As long as you break the negative spree, you’ll get back to being free.
no way that’s CRAZY!!!!Yo I definitely remember you! You're actually the first person I responded to when I came back here, I think it's a post you left on my account page. Your words of encouragement honest to God never left me! My final relapse was within that month we talked. It really meant a lot! I hope you're doing well too! Thanks again for your help bro!
Edit: I responded to your 3.0 account, it's on my account page
Bro it’s seriously so good to hear from you. i’m so happy you have been clean for so long. I haven’t seen a single other person from the past that’s still clean
That’s very nice to hear that your final relapse was within the month we talked. i am glad to hear that back then i encouraged you
I just hit 2 years of nofap/retention btw!! My dream is 5 years just like you, and you did it baby. now i have more belief and faith it’s possible
Live life and enjoy it fully you deserve it, champ
yes you will champ. you already did it, it’s within you the power
JJackson
Fapstronaut
You too bro! The first year is always the hardest so you'll definitely make it since you're already at 2! Wishing you the best and congrats on your progress!
D
Deleted Account
Guest
Realm of Hungry Ghosts in an incredible read! Glad you found the work of Gabor to help you was well. His saying "not why the addiction, but why the pain?" or "not why the addiction, but why the shame?" Not that they are much different I guess... Anyways, thanks for your post man! Awesome to encounter people who have found long term success and are open to sharing how they got there.
JJackson
Fapstronaut
Yeah that book is amazing, his new book is incredible too. That change in perspective did a lot for me. Nice to hear it impacted you too!
EscapingPMO
Fapstronaut
I had one question I was curious about.. for your current long streak you are on.. do you use any special techniques like meditation or any other type of breathing or “energy” exercises?
or do you just live day to day life and just keep moving forward?
the latter, the techniques i use sometimes and are helpful but not necessary. Pranayama breathing is advised. Its where you take turns breathing out of alternating nostrils, holding each breath for a few seconds. User your fingers to cover your nose
What is necessary I feel is to continuously be growing, dont stagnate
And above all else, you must realize the seriousness of not relapsing, you must realize how imperative and important it is. Its life or death tbh, its the difference between being champion vs slave in all areas of your life.
If you waste the creative power, you will be severely punished in ways you cant even fathom. the rabbit hole goes so deep. i can make a post if you want. just ask
EscapingPMO
Fapstronaut
Thanks a lot for the response! Yea, I mean I would definitely be interested in reading a post about what you are talking about with the rabbit hole..
zavenwycliffe
Fapstronaut
I've been clean for 5 years and I wanted to come back to try and help people because my life is so much better since getting clean! This post is just gonna be me compiling stuff that worked for me. I'll update it over time as I remember more and have time. Hopefully something in here is beneficial to you! Feel free to ask me anything if you need help! Best wishes to everyone! Stay strong!
Stopped Counting StreaksThe replies linked below go into why I think counting days is just a hindrance. I posted them in 2018 and for me, that was the last change I needed to make to get clean. I got a lot of positive feedback for it so I assume people today might benefit too. They're especially relevant for people asking "does this count as a relapse?" over tiny mistakes. Everything after the links is new stuff I'm adding 5 years later and is more in the realm of withdrawals & stuff that'll help with urges.
●
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/seven-days-now-what.183685/#post-1566190
^
(Just wanted to add this for people that feel counting has some sort of positive impact for you: Maybe consider counting the total number of days clean instead of streaks or do both. Gives a more accurate picture than "back to day 1" since one relapse doesn't magically restore those neural pathways)
● https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ner-considered-a-relapse.178754/#post-1535885
● https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/can-someone-help-me.189661/#post-1623222
● https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...rt-to-reach-long-streaks.189587/#post-1622848
First I want to bring attention to the fact that many of you are probably dealing with other issues that are actually at the root of your addiction. Your addiction is likely just a means to cope. A symptom of a bigger problem that you don't realize you have. There's a ton of stuff that I thought was just withdrawal from porn but were actually other issues. I'd recommend looking into the work of Dr Gabor Mate. He has plenty of talks on YouTube & great books about addiction (edit: the video linked at the bottom of the post is a good place to start). I didn't find him til after getting clean but I know you'll definitely benefit from his work! I did this part completely backwards. I beat the addiction first & then delt with the underlying causes. Please avoid my mistake lol. In general, regardless of Dr Mate's work resonating with you or not, look beyond pmo as the cause of your struggles with depression, anxiety, lack of energy etc. Pmo is likely just part of a bigger picture. Especially if you've been clean for a while but still struggling. All the problems I thought were "P.A.W.S" were just rooted in other issues or things lacking in my life. But since the addiction kept the pain from those issues numbed, getting clean meant facing them and the timing made it feel like it has to be pmo withdrawals.
Porn Wasn't The Main/Only Issue
*Some* Of The Non Pmo Factors I took Care of Which Helped Me
(helped with urges too)
- Meditation: "Healthy Minds program" is a great app built by Prof Richard Davidson and his team. As a result of who they are, the app dives into a lot of neuroscience so it's more than just a mediation app plus its free. Highly recommended.
- Exercise: 40 min of aerobics per day + strength training a few times a week is what I do but obviously do whatever fits your life
- Trauma: Found out I have C-PTSD which was the root problem and started healing that (Multiple book recommendations below, the 1st one "C-Ptsd Surviving to Thriving" is useful to everyone though. Highly recommended)
- Neuroscience/Meta Cognition Learning/understanding how your brain actually works helps so much on every level in life in general. At the very least understanding the neuroscience of porn addiction will help a lot. This video series does a excellent job making it easy to digest: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOcbPczYKTQb7Nyl5QmzZrSGcTeaAk92S&si=8_VDSyTZz0FEB-Rq
- Nutrition: Check nutritionfacts.org or the book "How Not To Die" for the science. Nutrition plays a much bigger role in cognition than most people realize and has had a huge impact on my life especially energy levels and mood.
- Wim Hof Method: Look up his YouTube channel for details and gudies. I find the breathing exercises extremely beneficial in general life let alone with fighting addiction. The cold shower aspect of his method is also useful if you can handle it. But the breathing on it's own is very powerful. *Edit* A super useful tool I had for dealing with urges was dunking my hands in a bucket of ice water. Same effect as a cold shower but more convenient.
- Good Sleep: This one is cliche but surprisingly huge if you're able to apply it. Consistent sleep does a lot for your brain. Try to sleep at consistent times, avoid caffeine and blue light late in the day and get 8 hours if possible. Look up the work of Dr Matthew Walker for more info.
- TRE aka Trauma Releasing Exercises: The work of Dr. David Berceli. Even if you feel trauma doesn't apply to you it can still be useful, especially with that "need to get it out of my system" feeling.
- Social media reduction: Shits literally designed to get you addicted to it which destroys your prefrontal cortex which in turn makes dealing with pmo harder. Heavily reduce or drop social media and be very mindful to not be using it as mental junk food if you do use it.
Really just anything that promotes good brain health and/or things that build neural networks (so even stuff like reading books) will strengthen your mind aka prevent or reduce withdrawal symptoms. These other issues for me went hand in hand with overcoming porn addiction because I struggled horribly to make any of those changes while deeply addicted. Once I got a few months clean it made those other things easy which snowballed into a bunch more good! Doing things to strengthen & improve my brain snowballing into more things that do the same. That's what deleted withdrawal symptoms from my life.
- (Edit for those asking, no I don't have any substance addictions, I've never even had alcohol so I can't comment on that. Sorry)
^
In general consider that other things might be causing or contributing to the withdrawal symptoms you're having. It's almost never just the addiction alone. I had overcome the addiction but felt like I was constantly suffering withdrawals but it was actually those other things for the most part. Pmo was "protecting me" from all the deeper stuff which is why the withdrawals were so brutal. Pmo served as a floodgate. So stopping meant the floodgates were open. That then gets combined with the actual withdrawals.
^
Withdrawals are very real but they don't last a year. And even when you're early in recovery aka the times when withdrawals hit the hardest, handling these other things will make things way easier. So don't fall into the trap many fall into of thinking "my brain just can't live without pmo" because you feel awful. Something else is likely at play either partially or fully. Either other problems like depression, ptsd etc or things lacking in your life like exercise, mediation, diet especially with how the microbiome effects your brain. Search deeper to find whatever it is in your case and be patient with yourself in that process.
Books/People/Resources That Helped Me (updating over time)
- Pete Walker's Book "C-PTSD Surviving to Thriving" (even if you don't think you have ptsd this book will definitely help. Just download a pdf for free if you cant afford it lol. I did that at 1st then bought a copy later)
- Gabor Mate as mentioned earlier. Plenty of books and talks about addiction
- Martin Seligman's book "Learned optimism". Goes into a lot of important psychology that's relevant to addicts especially if you've been struggling for a long time
- Dr Greger/Nutritionfacts.org also mentioned earlier. Never could have imagined how much of an impact nutrition would have.
- Healthy minds program app. Completely free with no ads and the way it dives into the science of psychology in an easy to understand manner is huge.
- Peter Levine who has many talks on YouTube and great books to read if the topic of trauma applies to you. His book "Waking the tiger" is a good place to start.
- Bessel Van Der Kolk who also has many talks and books if trauma applies to you. Most notably his book "The body keeps the score"
- Jack Kornfield's excellent YouTube channel and his book
Hey man, I love how you made that connection between how pmo withdrawal symptoms are just a fraction of your uncomfortable feelings which are actually tied to deeper root causes.
Things like avoiding exercise.
Things like procrastinating meditation.
Things like shoveling Lucky Charms into your mouth one day and then eating a balanced meal only when you “feel like it” later on.
Things like becoming complacent when you should be refusing to be mediocre.
So anyway, I wanted to say that you resonated with me, and your perspective helped solidify an important life lesson I’ve been learning this year.
Rainbow Warrior
Fapstronaut
Day 30, tomorrow is day 31!. I did 3 years till my recent relapse but I will do 6 or 7 years clean. You will win! The power is in you… turn off everything and go for a daily walk. Porn blocker settings on your phone are very important. This is half the job done, the other half is willpower and endurance and mindfulness
Rainbow Warrior
Fapstronaut
It takes only 90 days to break free and this is confirmed by science my people you had better believe it! Woohooo
JJackson
Fapstronaut
Sorry for the late reply but super happy to hear it resonated with you that much! Hope things have gotten much better since you left the comment. You're clearly on the right path with the right mindset etc which is probably the biggest hurdle for most. So congrats on that progress! Keep it up!
Icewarrior
Fapstronaut
It all depends on the person involved, no matter what "science" says.
SuperSaiyan99
Fapstronaut
90 days and the reboot just started "
"Rainbow Warrior
Fapstronaut
I’m on Day 92 of 365 with rare but occasional glimpses of p. Science does show the rewiring, taking place within the 90 day period. The brain develops the new addiction after 40 days. Good habits.
Just had a question, how did you get to 5 years? Was it willpower?