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克服孤独、习惯孤独

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by stiodk, Jul 12, 2021.

  1. stiodk

    stiodk Fapstronaut

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    It’s my second time posting a thread here after joining the community for 3 days. I have a lot to say when come to the topic of loneliness, for now I’m far from home, study and live alone, with nobody’s accompany. Since we’ve graduated, most of my classmates and friends have left our school and the city where the school locates. I failed in the post-graduate entrance examination (it’s crucial for Chinese undergruates before starting graduate studies) last year, but I decided to take it again this year. So, I rent a house here and study in a library nearby.

    In fact I always kept to myself during my four years in the university. I never had a girlfriend. I have a large number of friends, but few of them contact with me frequently. From morning to night, I rode alone to the canteen, studied alone in the library. The lonely days were not troublesome because things were going smoothly during my first two years of my campus life, but when were involved with setbacks, they can become unbearable. Due to the mass of my task which I had to spend a lot of time to deal with, my GPA fallen from 3.7 to 3.2, therefore I lost qualification to apply for scholarship. Things were getting worse, I met problems one after another, including my failure in the examination. You need mental support when you are going through the darkest moment of your life, but there were few people who can keep me company and give me encouragement.

    During the last few months, I watched more hard porn than before, and masturbated more frequently, which was really harmful to my health. Maybe I regard porn as a way to relax subconsciously. It’s not a good idea for porn addicts to choose a lonely life, the addiction can be more serious without supervise.

    I was swamped by the feeling bought by pornography, I realized I couldn’t concentrate on my lessons if I let the chaotic life continues. I joined Nofap, now speak truly, I feel much better these days. If you want to quit porn, you can’t stay away from the people around, especially the ones with the same aim.

    But I know, I still have to conquer the problems I’m facing. I have to pass the examination and leave this place. I also have to deal with the negative emotions in my mind. Nobody can help me overcoming these difficulties. The future is uncertain, thus l could be beaten by fiercer blow, and sometimes the burden is my own, I have to deal with it without anyone’s help. People who always seeking for help cannot stand on their own feet. Therefore, I should be independent, and adapt myself to loneliness.

    So, when we are facing difficulties, sometimes others can help you, sometimes not. It’s great when someone offer us a hand, but don’t be desperate if we are alone. Perhaps the experience fighting alone can bring us a complete transformation. Perhaps you’ll find something precious in the loneliness.

    Please forgive me if there’s mistakes in the text. I’m a Chinese student, I just want to encourage the people who are suffering from porn addiction and myself. I hope these words can give you strength and support you to rebuild your health, both mental and physical.
     
    persevereon634 and amaranth like this.
  2. I've always been interested in Chinese calligraphy. What does this say actually? I only know Xiaxia and well Ni Hao, Ni Hao ma. :)

    I'm learning Japanese but both languages are difficult compared to English alphabet.

    I've actually been choosing to be alone recently. I know how you feel when students, co workers, or colleagues fade into the distance. Most of my friends have been doing this especially a close friend of mine. I think my mind is most of all suffering and from the addiction. It does wipe out memory cell's and has a hard time re wiring them to work.

    I've noticed this in the past month as I spell words I knew wrong. Can't remember something from childhood, etc... It's very rough on the brain. It's like you get a dopamine high and then your brain goes into shock. Especially since your not with a real woman, which makes the body cause anxiety and sense of loss. I think it may be playing a huge factor into learning and taking tests as well.

    I remember it hit me hard sophomore year of high school. I had the worst text anxiety, was out of focus, failed History... I failed History.. When I was defeated this habit I remember seeing my grades explode upwards senior year of high school
     
  3. stiodk

    stiodk Fapstronaut

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    It means you must overcome loneliness but also embrace it.
    Well, I hope there’re some people who speaks Chinese, it’s less difficult for me to communicate with them.
     
    TrueSaiyan2.0 likes this.
  4. Rusorel

    Rusorel New Fapstronaut

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    Hello! I am looking for people who are fluent in Chinese to help finish translating the best nofap book -《戒为良药》. The user HMHU translated the first 41 chapters but there are a total of 140 and I would REALLY like an English translation because this book is the reason that I am free from PMO for over a month now! I am willing to help with editing the grammar but I don't know Chinese, so I can't translate it myself.

    Stiodk, if you would like to help then please reach out to me!
     
    eoptda likes this.
  5. stiodk

    stiodk Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for my late reply, I’m willing to help. But since I’m busy preparing for the examination so I have little time for the transition. I really want to help you because that’s helpful for me as well. I will be free 5 months later,thus I can focus on the transition by then. If we start the task right now, the process would be slow. Can you give me a copy of the book? Perhaps we can talk about the arrangement of the time later.
     
  6. Rusorel

    Rusorel New Fapstronaut

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    Sure. Here's a link to the full book: https://www.jiebbs.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=178768&highlight=140
     
    eoptda likes this.
  7. persevereon634

    persevereon634 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi stiodk, after reading your story. I feel for you, we all feel lonely sometimes and even most of the time. In fact, I'm also dealing with some personal issues, school stress and loneliness issues. I believe if we persevere on, we can definitely quit porn. I know a bit of Chinese myself so I guess if you feel lonely sometimes, you can reach out to me anytime to chat about it.
     
  8. stiodk

    stiodk Fapstronaut

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    That would be great. Communication is really helpful when we’re suffering from porn addiction, and I’d like to make friends with native English speakers, it’s also a chance for me to practice my English .
    But there’s time difference between your country and mine, that’s a problem we can’t ignore.
     
  9. persevereon634

    persevereon634 New Fapstronaut

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    Actually I'm living in a Asian country with the same time zone as China so I guess that time difference wouldn't be much of an issue.
     

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