1,5 years of change after 20 years of p*rn (including sissy hypno)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Optimist85, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. Optimist85

    Optimist85 Fapstronaut

    I started my healing journey 1,5 years ago after a traumatic "sissy" hypnosis experience. Some of you may or may not know what this is, but if p*rn is an illness, sissy hypno is cancer. It can be explained as media that destroys lives, produced by malignant people without any ethics or morals.

    Unfortunately I used those kind of hypnosis files for a very long time. I did not realize that I had a problem until I almost had a mental breakdown induced by those files. I hope that my success story will serve as a warning, but will also give those hope who went down the same rabbit hole.

    I first came in contact with p*rn when I was about 12 (I'm 33 now). I even bought magazines in shops when I was about 14. I do not know if the owners of the shops thought that I'm older or that they frankly did not give a f*. Later I accessed p*rn over the internet, which was a novelty back then. It started with softcore and evolved into different fetishes. Even during school I watched extreme p*rn and I was masturbating compulsively several times a day. I started crossdressing for fun, nothing serious. It was something that was probably connected to a bad childhood experience that I do not remember anymore, but I was told about it. On the other side I started p*rn induced self harming behavior, which I could stop years later.

    During my time in the military I had little to no access to p*rn, and it made me a stronger person. This is probably the reason that I also met my first steady girlfriend at that time. It did not last very long but it was a good relationship.

    Later at university I unfortunately started my bad habits again. This included joining transgender forums, because i slipped into sissy p*rn. Probably it was curiosity paired with bad influence from p*rn sites. As you can imagine, it was a time filled with anxiety.

    I remember that over a decade ago I found a hypnosis video on youtube. It was about changing your gender. But honestly I did not believe it works and I thought if it works it only lasts for the duration of the 30 minutes hypnosis. I listened several times and I found myself thinking I was born a woman and even wondered if I have a p*ssy later after that. I also had a delusion that I have long legs and I bought some pieces of female clothing and other stuff. The funny thing is I figured that out over a decade later, I believed that those thoughts were my thoughts. And I believed that made up experiences really happened. Now I realize that I had a depression that was caused by body dysmorphia. And the body dysmorphia was caused by this hypnosis.

    Later I discovered hypnosis recordings by a hypnodomme, which were also about gender change. As I listened to the other hypnosis before, I believed that this is something I want and something I like. Basically the lies I believed, made me believe other more extreme lies. And the only thing they gave me, besides new fetishes were anxiety, stress, panic attacks and occasional depression. Also this records made me believe that all these things were "mine ideas". Something I realized a lot later. But many things make more sense when you look back. Typing these words makes me realize that I went through hell and didn't even know it.

    About 1,5 years ago I had a couple of failed relationships behind me. I met the wrong women, because I listened to hypnosis that made me believe that it is good to be treated like sh*t. Which lead me to a dark spot, looking for more hypnosis files and I found some extreme files that can be described as personality erasure. I did not know the exact content and I thought they were just about "feminisation", but I believed blindly that those are some fun files. Also the internet was full of wrong information about the files to lure people in, so that the person making these files can cash in.

    It was insane in a dreadful way, and fighting the complusions / addiction symptoms that were created by hypnosis was absolutely the toughest thing I ever did in my life. It was a fight between life and death. At that moment I chose to live. It wasn't just hard, it was very hard. Extreme anxiety, insomnia, not being sure if I will be able to live a normal life again. This was not just quitting p*rn, it was quitting death and fighting for sanity. When you start dreaming about those hypnosis files and when you start hearing voices like a schizophrenic (and this never happened before), you definitely know something is very wrong. This happened in February 2018.

    Today

    My current situation is a stark contrast to everything that happened.

    I managed to stop sissy hypno files entirely. Maybe I listened once or twice since in the past 1,5 years, but never a whole file. I feel no desire whatsoever to do so. The extreme compulsions I had are entirely gone.

    During that time I had some periods without PMO that lasted up to two months. Currently I rarely watch p*rn, and I masturbate only when I don't see my girlfriend for a while. I do not edge and if I watch p*rn to get off, I only do it for as short as possible. In general my goal is to cut it out entirely. Also I almost never watch sh*male p*rn or other extreme things anymore as I find it disgusting (despite watching extreme p*rn for almost two decades).

    I threw away all my crossdressing things. I feel no desire or compulsion to buy anything to crossdress anymore. It is something I do not connect with my personality anymore.

    I fully identify as man, and have no desire to be a woman. Thinking I was born a woman is something that clearly was never my wish but that I was influenced into as a young individual. Funny how curiosity can lead you to wrong choices and a horrible time.

    I enjoy regular sex and everything works just fine. My sexual drive has decreased, but I assume that it was rather an induced compulsion than genuine drive. Also I'm not 20 anymore, but I probably still have more sex than most twenty-something out there. It is a bit weird if you are used to being controlled by a compulsion and then it's gone.

    In general I became much more confident, I do not tolerate if people do not respect me, I do not tolerate if somebody treats me bad in a relationship and I state my opinion if I want to. There are no "blocks" anymore to say no or to tell somebody to f*ck off. While I am kind and respectful to others, I draw a very clear line to what I accept and what I do not accept.

    I have far less anxiety and am calm and centered. When I think about my past self I feel sorry for that poor person I was.

    My relationships improved. I do not accept if friends treat me bad, even if it's subtle. This lead to some conflict, but they got used to it.

    Also I started to pursue some dreams that I didn't thought I can do them. Currently I'm working on a diploma to become a certified hypnotist so that I can help others and that's just one of my projects.

    Dear reader.

    If you are or were in a similar situation, you can change. Yes, it is hard in the beginning, but it is worth it. As I used hypnosis files to destroy my confidence I found records that built me up again and that restored my confidence. If by any means possible get professional help, or get files from credible sources. Get rid of those suggestions and triggers and start enjoying your life. As impossible as it may seem at the moment - it is possible.
     
  2. Rehab_warrior

    Rehab_warrior Fapstronaut

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    Hey Optimist,

    I had never heared of sissy P till I read your post.

    The ability of that P to turn over your mind into thinking you are a submissive woman.... It's horrifying !

    I struggled to read to the end...

    But MAN, of all the posts I read on nofap, I really really want to say RESPECT !

    Stay brave bro
     
  3. Femboyx0

    Femboyx0 Fapstronaut

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    I am an expert on Anti sissy hypnosis please contact me as quickly as possible, I am leading the charge against sissy
    hypno content on the internett, helping flag and remove all of it, and you need to join in to. their breaking the
    law their racist,sexist, trying to entrap minors/ underage children in their fetish. I need as many as possible to help aid me
    in this quest. their are causeing people to harm others and themselfes.
     
  4. bikinhappy

    bikinhappy Fapstronaut

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    Congratulation for winning your life brother :)
     
  5. Femboyx0

    Femboyx0 Fapstronaut

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    the battle is not over before every single sissy hypno video is removed and banned
     
    luxe likes this.
  6. Rebirth886

    Rebirth886 Fapstronaut

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    It sounds horrible, you was knocked out for real... respect man, for most of us it's even hard to become free from regular p*rn.

    Also, you mentioned your learning hypnosis. Do you have a few tips how we could use it in our nofap journey? For instance I heard if you make a sound file with your own affirmations and listen it repeatedly while you are asleep, it can reprogramming your subconscious mind. Is that true?

    It would be fine to create or own hypno files what can help us personally.
     
  7. luxe

    luxe Fapstronaut

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    Wow ,congratulations so happy for you
     
    control your life likes this.
  8. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    Proud of you brother!
     
    control your life likes this.
  9. countdown

    countdown Fapstronaut

    Be strong, my dear. Sissy p* caught me too but at the other extreme of the line: I wanted to f*ck sissies and cds. It totally transformed my brain, my desires, my natural wishes. And I became so fucked up for a time.

    Some days ago I decided to quit this shit for good and take my life back again. And here I am, accomplishing and improving each day.

    A big hug, stay strong!
     
  10. Ranvanp

    Ranvanp Fapstronaut

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    Terrific write up. I am really happy for you and grateful that have shared your story.
    Sissy porn is an abomination and I can not fathom the minds of the people who create that ghastly content.

    I have been caught up in feminization bs for many years and am only now seeing it for the nasty nonsense that it is. At the moment I am content with my journey forward but there is a real fear of back sliding so it is nice to read a post from someone who is a total success.
     
  11. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Great stuff man!

    Especially like hearing about how you can hold the line when people try to be disrespectful. That's like a natural reward for saying "no" to ourselves first.

    I have given up sissy porn, dressing up and all that stuff. Still yet to give up porn completely but I can see the light at the end. I don't know what I'm waiting for, time to reach that new goal. Thanks for sharing!
     
  12. berlincalling234567

    berlincalling234567 Fapstronaut

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    Man, I like your avatar!
     
  13. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

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    I am so happy to read your story and to know you have changed it and won against this darkness. Stopping this kind of material after two decades is a great courage! great warrior :)

    This world is horrible, the field of porn may have anything that will not come to normal person's mind, full of evilness! I used to wonder about some videos about BDSM, the submissive's face is like not himself, full of pain. I think hypnosis is used in reality in the porn field in some sorts of it, it reminds me in (Get out) movie.

    Keep doing the good work man! Respect!
     
  14. goth_man

    goth_man Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys
    I was earlier a bisexual without sissy hypno videos. It was my natural perversion. But I am agree that this content is horrible, and has to be removed from the internet.
    I can say that its a fact, there is way to be normal again, spending time out there, having sex with girls, dong sport, and forget every kind of pornstuff forever. On the hardest day you have to go out to a library or go to the cinema, and with the help of the time everything will be normal again.
     
    control your life likes this.
  15. ALEX_88

    ALEX_88 Fapstronaut

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    give up hypnosis
     
    D. Jigen and control your life like this.
  16. control your life

    control your life Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    congrats on your fight brother ! stay strong ! its worth living hard and winning your life back!
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  17. Steven_TheOneAndOnly

    Steven_TheOneAndOnly Fapstronaut

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    I tried hypnosis audios sissy on youtube, at first it did not work, but your body is asking for more, today, after more than 6 months of Nofap, I fell into this shit out of curiosity, currently I feel seizures, nausea all over the body, I do not know if it's sissy or porn that I watched yesterday, but in any case I feel very bad, I've never felt so weak.
     
  18. Ranvanp

    Ranvanp Fapstronaut

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    Mate, that sissy shit really is shit. Take it from a man who disappeared down that rabbit hole for years.
    A person might think that it is doing nothing or they are just satisfying a harmless kink. The reality is that with your hand on your penis; and your eyes, mind and ears wide open you are letting some skeevy turd play with your psyche.

    I reckon that if you met one of those slimy bastards who create that feminization bullshit in real life and they asked you if they could hypnotize you, you would recoil in disgust. I don't know you at all but even without knowing you I know that you are too good a person to waste even one moment more of your life on that crap. Leave it alone.
     
  19. Steven_TheOneAndOnly

    Steven_TheOneAndOnly Fapstronaut

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    do not worry my brother, it's not just audios that will get the better of me. I did 6 months Nofap, which is amazing. But in reality I was traumatized by these youtube audios.
     
  20. Steven_TheOneAndOnly

    Steven_TheOneAndOnly Fapstronaut

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    In fact it's when I watched the comments of the videos that it triggered a fear in me, hundreds of men claiming to be "s * ssy" I said wtf what's this shit, it's is more addictive than heroin? I told myself I must try, and it's just the woman's voice that is exciting, not what she says. But since then I have been afraid to become one of them, and my mind remains uncontrollable (you must know that I am someone who has one of the thoughts in tree, like Jean Claude Van Damne). That's just the problem, I'm scared of this shit, I'm not addict to the concept in itself just the voice of the woman.
     

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