1,5 years of change after 20 years of p*rn (including sissy hypno)

dlansky said:
I've spent more time studying this issue than I had ever wanted to, because my daughter suffers from gender dysphoria and "identifies" male. (Long story, but my wife and I have been trying to help her deal with her depression without encouraging her in any way to act on her feelings of gender dysphoria.)

I believe that ultimately most people who identify as transgender are searching for an explanation for their own unhappiness. Having a long history of depression myself, as well as many times where I've wondered if I wouldn't be happier as a woman, I know that one common tendency among depressives is rumination. We get into these cycles of thinking about how we could be happy "if only." If only I'd had a different upbringing, if only I were taller and better looking, if only I'd become a lawyer instead of an accountant, if only Elizabeth had said yes to marrying me, whatever. For trans people, it's, "If only I were the opposite sex." Rumination generally focuses on things we are powerless to change, instead of things we can actually do to improve our lives. Normally, therapists try to help depressives by teaching them to focus on what they can do in the present and what is actually possible for them, and on taking action in that direction

When it comes to the transgender/transsexual movement however, people are now being led to believe that they can, in fact, change their sex, that they really can "be" the opposite sex regardless of their biology. Initially, such people might feel great, because they believe they are finally taking action that will enable them to attain what will make them happy -- being the opposite sex. If they are successful at making others believe they are the opposite sex, they may feel better for a while.

But the problem is that biology is real. Your body really is either male or female; it is either designed to allow for fatherhood or motherhood, and that can't be changed, even if one's body can be altered to appear to be that of the opposite sex. So when people with gender dysphoria begin to take actions that they believe will allow themselves to be the opposite sex, they are ultimately setting themselves up for failure, as they will never actually be what they are pretending to be. They are constantly acting against what they truly are, sometimes fighting against the very design of their own bodies. They are left even more hopeless than they were before. There is nothing worse than believing that one's happiness depends on something one cannot control and that could never be true.
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Its like I said before, a small, incredibly tiny percentage of trans people genuinely are, on a brain level, "born in the wrong body." The remaining 99.9% are delusional in their belief system or are being manipulated by trends. A massive amount of people who transition only feel happier about it for a short time and then go back to being miserable. This is because they are messed up on a psychological level and need help to overcome these issues, validating their delusion is the worst thing you can possibly do. "The reason more people are trans now is because there is more information about it and people are more accepting of it," I hear people claim. Utter bollocks. There are more trans people nowadays because more and more people suffer from mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety and more and more of these vulnerable people are being suckered into trans ideology. There are even people out there on social media who spend their time grooming young people into thinking they are trans.

dlansky said:
Here's one thing that baffles me about the trans movement: we are told that gender is only a social construct and not a real thing, and that one's biological sex means nothing. But if gender isn't real and biological sex means nothing, why would anyone want to try to change their gender or sex? Obviously it's a real thing, and obviously it matters, or you wouldn't have any reason to change it.
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These peoples ideology is completely incoherent. They claim that gender roles are a social construct yet believe tomboys actually want to be boys and that less masculine boys are really girls. Call out any of their gibbering nonsense for what it is and you get labelled a transphobe.
 
AtomicTango said:
Its like I said before, a small, incredibly tiny percentage of trans people genuinely are, on a brain level, "born in the wrong body."
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Even that I don't believe. The studies that people claim support this idea really don't, from what I have read. Yes, there may be brain-activity patterns that are more typical of men, and patterns more typical of women, just as there are height trends, muscularity trends, hair-growth trends, etc. that go one way or another. However, most people whose brain-activity patterns look more like that which is typical of the opposite sex do not identify as trans, and those who identify as trans do not necessarily have atypical brain-activity patterns for their sex; there is just a higher percent of trans people with such atypical patterns. Even so, one's brain-activity patterns have no effect whatsoever on one's ability to become a father or a mother. They no more have the wrong body than the wrong brain; they just aren't exactly like the average person of their sex in that way, just as a 6-foot tall woman is tall for her sex, but still just as much a woman.
 
AtomicTango said:
Its like I said before, a small, incredibly tiny percentage of trans people genuinely are, on a brain level, "born in the wrong body."
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Even that I don't believe. The studies that people claim support this idea really don't, from what I have read. Yes, there may be brain-activity patterns that are more typical of men, and patterns more typical of women, just as there are height trends, muscularity trends, hair-growth trends, etc. that go one way or another. However, most people whose brain-activity patterns look more like that which is typical of the opposite sex do not identify as trans, and those who identify as trans do not necessarily have atypical brain-activity patterns for their sex; there is just a higher percent of trans people with such atypical patterns. Even so, one's brain-activity patterns have no effect whatsoever on one's ability to become a father or a mother. They no more have the wrong body than the wrong brain; they just aren't exactly like the average person of their sex, just as a 6-foot tall woman is tall for her sex, but still just as much a woman.
 
dlansky said:
Even that I don't believe. The studies that people claim support this idea really don't, from what I have read. Yes, there may be brain-activity patterns that are more typical of men, and patterns more typical of women, just as there are height trends, muscularity trends, hair-growth trends, etc. that go one way or another. However, most people whose brain-activity patterns look more like that which is typical of the opposite sex do not identify as trans, and those who identify as trans do not necessarily have atypical brain-activity patterns for their sex; there is just a higher percent of trans people with such atypical patterns. Even so, one's brain-activity patterns have no effect whatsoever on one's ability to become a father or a mother. They no more have the wrong body than the wrong brain; they just aren't exactly like the average person of their sex in that way, just as a 6-foot tall woman is tall for her sex, but still just as much a woman.
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I didn't know this, I just said that because I thought it was possible that at least some trans people genuinely are. Thank you for the information.
 
dlansky said:
There is one in particular whose voice I became especially attached to -- the hardest for me to let go of -- but I bet that even if I could find out who she is and find a way to meet her in real life, all she'd have for me is a restraining order.
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Yep. You're just one of any number of people she is happy to use/manipulate for a power trip and/or financial reward. She's not interested in you at all nor any of the people she ensnares in her fiendish web. You sound to me like a decent guy, so the answer is in being comfortable within who you are in and of yourself and no longer looking outside for someone to validate you because you are okay. You are just fine even if others may have made you feel like you are not.
 
Optimist85 said:
I started my healing journey 1,5 years ago after a traumatic "sissy" hypnosis experience. Some of you may or may not know what this is, but if p*rn is an illness, sissy hypno is cancer. It can be explained as media that destroys lives, produced by malignant people without any ethics or morals.

Unfortunately I used those kind of hypnosis files for a very long time. I did not realize that I had a problem until I almost had a mental breakdown induced by those files. I hope that my success story will serve as a warning, but will also give those hope who went down the same rabbit hole.

I first came in contact with p*rn when I was about 12 (I'm 33 now). I even bought magazines in shops when I was about 14. I do not know if the owners of the shops thought that I'm older or that they frankly did not give a f*. Later I accessed p*rn over the internet, which was a novelty back then. It started with softcore and evolved into different fetishes. Even during school I watched extreme p*rn and I was masturbating compulsively several times a day. I started crossdressing for fun, nothing serious. It was something that was probably connected to a bad childhood experience that I do not remember anymore, but I was told about it. On the other side I started p*rn induced self harming behavior, which I could stop years later.

During my time in the military I had little to no access to p*rn, and it made me a stronger person. This is probably the reason that I also met my first steady girlfriend at that time. It did not last very long but it was a good relationship.

Later at university I unfortunately started my bad habits again. This included joining transgender forums, because i slipped into sissy p*rn. Probably it was curiosity paired with bad influence from p*rn sites. As you can imagine, it was a time filled with anxiety.

I remember that over a decade ago I found a hypnosis video on youtube. It was about changing your gender. But honestly I did not believe it works and I thought if it works it only lasts for the duration of the 30 minutes hypnosis. I listened several times and I found myself thinking I was born a woman and even wondered if I have a p*ssy later after that. I also had a delusion that I have long legs and I bought some pieces of female clothing and other stuff. The funny thing is I figured that out over a decade later, I believed that those thoughts were my thoughts. And I believed that made up experiences really happened. Now I realize that I had a depression that was caused by body dysmorphia. And the body dysmorphia was caused by this hypnosis.

Later I discovered hypnosis recordings by a hypnodomme, which were also about gender change. As I listened to the other hypnosis before, I believed that this is something I want and something I like. Basically the lies I believed, made me believe other more extreme lies. And the only thing they gave me, besides new fetishes were anxiety, stress, panic attacks and occasional depression. Also this records made me believe that all these things were "mine ideas". Something I realized a lot later. But many things make more sense when you look back. Typing these words makes me realize that I went through hell and didn't even know it.

About 1,5 years ago I had a couple of failed relationships behind me. I met the wrong women, because I listened to hypnosis that made me believe that it is good to be treated like sh*t. Which lead me to a dark spot, looking for more hypnosis files and I found some extreme files that can be described as personality erasure. I did not know the exact content and I thought they were just about "feminisation", but I believed blindly that those are some fun files. Also the internet was full of wrong information about the files to lure people in, so that the person making these files can cash in.

It was insane in a dreadful way, and fighting the complusions / addiction symptoms that were created by hypnosis was absolutely the toughest thing I ever did in my life. It was a fight between life and death. At that moment I chose to live. It wasn't just hard, it was very hard. Extreme anxiety, insomnia, not being sure if I will be able to live a normal life again. This was not just quitting p*rn, it was quitting death and fighting for sanity. When you start dreaming about those hypnosis files and when you start hearing voices like a schizophrenic (and this never happened before), you definitely know something is very wrong. This happened in February 2018.

Today

My current situation is a stark contrast to everything that happened.

I managed to stop sissy hypno files entirely. Maybe I listened once or twice since in the past 1,5 years, but never a whole file. I feel no desire whatsoever to do so. The extreme compulsions I had are entirely gone.

During that time I had some periods without PMO that lasted up to two months. Currently I rarely watch p*rn, and I masturbate only when I don't see my girlfriend for a while. I do not edge and if I watch p*rn to get off, I only do it for as short as possible. In general my goal is to cut it out entirely. Also I almost never watch sh*male p*rn or other extreme things anymore as I find it disgusting (despite watching extreme p*rn for almost two decades).

I threw away all my crossdressing things. I feel no desire or compulsion to buy anything to crossdress anymore. It is something I do not connect with my personality anymore.

I fully identify as man, and have no desire to be a woman. Thinking I was born a woman is something that clearly was never my wish but that I was influenced into as a young individual. Funny how curiosity can lead you to wrong choices and a horrible time.

I enjoy regular sex and everything works just fine. My sexual drive has decreased, but I assume that it was rather an induced compulsion than genuine drive. Also I'm not 20 anymore, but I probably still have more sex than most twenty-something out there. It is a bit weird if you are used to being controlled by a compulsion and then it's gone.

In general I became much more confident, I do not tolerate if people do not respect me, I do not tolerate if somebody treats me bad in a relationship and I state my opinion if I want to. There are no "blocks" anymore to say no or to tell somebody to f*ck off. While I am kind and respectful to others, I draw a very clear line to what I accept and what I do not accept.

I have far less anxiety and am calm and centered. When I think about my past self I feel sorry for that poor person I was.

My relationships improved. I do not accept if friends treat me bad, even if it's subtle. This lead to some conflict, but they got used to it.

Also I started to pursue some dreams that I didn't thought I can do them. Currently I'm working on a diploma to become a certified hypnotist so that I can help others and that's just one of my projects.

Dear reader.

If you are or were in a similar situation, you can change. Yes, it is hard in the beginning, but it is worth it. As I used hypnosis files to destroy my confidence I found records that built me up again and that restored my confidence. If by any means possible get professional help, or get files from credible sources. Get rid of those suggestions and triggers and start enjoying your life. As impossible as it may seem at the moment - it is possible.
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Thanks for sharing. I was tempted to listen to hypnosis files of slightly another sort, but after a few minutes, I realized that the unperceivable messages could be anything and not what I thought it was. I was blindly trusting a hypnotic message that I could not be sure of and knew nothing about the maker. It's like blindly leaving yourself open to poison. Watch your drinks, folks, at a party, and watch you mind, folks, among hypnosis peddlers. Both can be unknowing spiked with anything.
 
Hi everyone. For those who mentioned that they do not trust online hypnosis anymore, I can completely understand your viewpoint. You can however transcribe a "reset" file and record your own. It's pointless to put everything in the same bucket, because you limit yourself then.

I do not share the viewpoint that there is only a hard way to get rid of issues. Hypnosis can be a quick fix, especially if the issue was created by hypnosis. You can for example use ego strenghtening techniques to gain confidence, or you can use fast phobia cure techniques to get rid of panic or anxiety, or even change fetishes.

You can use hypnosis or self hypnosis for significantly faster change, as you can adress the subconscious - which easily makes up about 98% of your brain processes. Hypnosis is THE key for change.

As you can see, I am back on track and living a much better life than I could have imagined a couple of years ago.
  • I can't identify with the stuff I wrote here some time ago, it does not make sense to me
  • I improved my relationships
  • I learned to say no
  • I learned to unlearn anxiety and fear
  • I am in a loving relationship
  • I started a growing side business
  • I completed two diplomas
  • I became much more centered, relaxed and confident
  • I let go of destructive thought patterns and habits
  • I neutralized the annoying and destructive hypnotic triggers and posthypnotic suggestions
  • I see new possibilites in life
  • I am open for change
all these things were impossible in my old mental state
 
I like your assertive tone! Keep it up! Never allow anyone to disrespect you. Hold yourself in high standards brother. Porn is a plague on this planet. It feminizes and enervates us into weaklings.

High Thumos Brother.
 
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