1 Decade of Porn Addiction

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by LeonRas, Jul 16, 2022.

  1. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    This is my first Thread, so if this does not belong in this category, please tell me. I am 19 years old, and i have been addicted to porn for about 10 years now. Most of the things i`ve seen have been things not involving real humans, as in Rule 34 and E621. I`ve seen it all, Furry, Loli, Hentai, Zoo, you name it, i`ve seen it. My question is, is there any chance of me ever forgetting, and becoming a normal person again? I really hate myself for what i`ve seen and done, to the point i don`t even feel like i deserve love. Every feels like the same mindless things, over and over, without any real achievements (my max clean streak has been 5 days for multiple months now). I just want to be a decent person, but i fear it`s already too late for me. It`s bordering on, or it might just be depression at this point.
     
  2. Have 2 Try

    Have 2 Try Fapstronaut

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    Hi. It honestly takes a lot of courage to open up and start talkinf about the darker sides of porn addiction. I am a 21 year old person, and I know what you are going through.
    To answer your question, yeah, one can become a normal person again, but I do not think one can forget all the kinds of stuff we have PMO'd to, I don't think we should, either. The thing is, if we need to remind ourselves of what we are fighting against, I've been focusing on how disgusting it makes me feel when I O to something disturbing, and I focus on that to try and not relapse. "Focus on how you feel" is one of my mantras.
    Remember that with heavy porn use, your dopamine receptors get "burned out", so it is to be expected that you're hitting that low, the important thing is not to give up, it's never too late to stop!
     
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  3. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for taking so long to see that you replied, and thank you that you did. Its quite a relief to have at least someone tell me that im not too far gone yet. Certaintly seems so sometimes, but as you said, just gotta keep going, right?
     
  4. bertieboy

    bertieboy Fapstronaut

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    Once your dopamine receptors are back to where they should be you will be back to normal, but in order to get the receptors back to where they should be we have to stop watching any kind of porn, whether it is hard core, soft core or just looking at pics of scantily clad people on social media etc. This is the only way. Good luck
     
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  5. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    Ive been thinking of handing my smarthphone to a family member, might do that to reduce internet exposure. So, how long would that take? Ive been hearing that 90 days is the breaking point.
     
  6. bertieboy

    bertieboy Fapstronaut

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    I don't know how long it will take, we are all different. I think 90 days seems to be normal length of time as experts seem to agree it takes 90 days to break a habit/addiction but that is just the beginning if you are really addicted to porn it is a life long journey and a relapse could well send you back to where you started which all the urges and desires to indulge much the same as giving up smoking then after years of not smoking having one cigarette and you would be hooked again or an alcoholic giving up alcohol then years later taking a drink and ending up back to where they started. I am on a 90 PMO reboot currently on day 23 but I am seriously addicted to live sex webcams and have spent a fortune on them so I really need to deal with this as it is destroying my life
     
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  7. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    Dang man, i wish you the best of luck with that. Also, yeah makes sense, everyones different. But getting to 90 days would certainly be a morale boost.
     
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  8. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    Full disclosure, ive also spent some money on this, not sure how much though. most of it on "toys", which ive thrown out months ago, and i think 5 euro on an "artists" patreon. Still hate myself for that.
     
  9. bertieboy

    bertieboy Fapstronaut

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    Try and stop it while you can bro, it is no good, really it isn't, once you get hooked into spending money nothing else matters except the buzz of it and that leads into serious addiction which is where I am at now. This might sound very dramatic but it is true, it is as bad if not worse than being addicted to hard drugs, it destroys your life
     
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  10. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    Forgetting? Probably not. Becoming a normal person again? Absolutely.

    It is never too late, mate. You are just 19, you have time.

    Forget about that 90 day mark. It is just a somewhat randomly picked milestone. It could take less time, but in all honesty it will probably take longer than that to return to normal for good. Trust the process and take it one day at a time or as a saying I like alot goes: "Tomorrow isn't under your control. Do what's right today and let tomorrow take care of itself."

    Many of us did. Me too. But don't get caught up in your past mistakes, cut yourself some slack.

    Always.
     
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  11. m9damn

    m9damn Fapstronaut

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    You are young, you can recover
    God can help
     
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  12. I am in a similar situation to you. I thought that I was doomed to never be able to have "normal" attraction to women, but I'm certain that it's possible now because I experienced it (after years of believing that it wasn't possible). You need to have faith that it's possible, and find a reason for changing that you can latch onto.
     
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  13. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Ha! Try 4 decades, as in my case. I didn't have such tools as here on nofap. I wish I did at you age. Best that you take advantage of this and nip this in the bud now; else, you can easily take this into your next three decades. Best wishes!

    .
     
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  14. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    Again, sorry for seeing all your replies so late, and thank you for replying at all. One thing ive been wondering: does the shame and self-doubt ever go away? I can barely go to the public pool without feeling like a creep when my eyes snap onto people. I dont stare, but its the standard snapping on every human does. ( as far as im aware ). Im also worried i could end up becoming a pedophile, im not sure how realistic that is, but its there.
     
  15. yngmoney

    yngmoney Fapstronaut

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    Dude, you are never too far gone! Don't give up the fight, ever. You can live a normal life, absolutely.

    Don't worry about the weird crap you've looked at; that isn't you, it is your addiction making you seek that content out. It is due to your brain needing more "novelty" and extreme content, the more you use porn, in order to get the same level of dopamine. Once you quit P cold turkey, your brain will begin healing and eventually you will not need extreme or weird P to get aroused.
     
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  16. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply, this is exactly what i had hoped to hear. Thank you for giving me a bit of my motivation back. I needed that, especially since life has been rough these past few days.
     
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  17. BananaBread900

    BananaBread900 Fapstronaut

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    I'm also a decade into battling this addiction, although it goes back a little further than that. I started with magazines and dial up internet porn, eventually we got high speed internet. I would sometimes miss out on activities with friends, hobbies or outdoor activities because I was looking at porn. I would never go to church because I spent my Sundays on the family computer doing things I shouldn't. In 2012 I was downloading full length HD movies, I had quite a collection, and I fapped multiple times a day, always looking at hardcore porn. I stopped going to my college classes, stopped going to sports practice, stopped going outside and existed on microwave pizza, cereal, pop tarts and and ramen noodles. I felt like I was imprisoned in my dorm. If my roommate came in I would sneak to the bathroom and watch porn in there. Eventually I found the nofap reddit and began my journey back to freedom. I hate how I keep telling myself I'm never going to do it again and then do. My frequency of use is much lower but I hate that I continue to use it.
     
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  18. hawken45

    hawken45 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 23 an
    I'm 23 and I just want to say I have been in your exact position. The one thing that I would like you to learn is to never give in to negativity, shame, and hurt caused by porn and relapses. Always keep picking yourself up, learning something new, and trying hard. Keep chipping away regardless of how hard life might be and never beat yourself up. Given enough time you will forget and feel so much better, it took me a full year. It was totally worth it, I'm trying to get back to that record now after 5 years and another relapse. Also start a journal and post every day, keep it short and sweet if you want to or be like me and copy and paste a daily goals checklist every day. Anyways... Don't worry man, we have all been there, you got this, love yourself, keep trying, and be the you you were meant to be!
     
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  19. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    I hope you are right. As i mentioned earlier, i am quite scared of becoming a pedophile, not knowing how realistic that is. I do not want to become one of the people i hate. And the negativity just keeps piling on, sometimes it`s hard to keep going.
     
  20. LeonRas

    LeonRas Fapstronaut

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    I know i dont show up here often, but i just wanted to say thanks to everyone in this discussion again. While i am still doubting myself and my future, you people have encouraged me to go on. Thank you all, sincerely.
     
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