1 month report

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NMIE, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. NMIE

    NMIE Fapstronaut

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    Well i have made best progress since i started with masturbation (about 10 years back)
    What it feels like to me?

    Well im not here to say this month felt like heaven... i havent seen any major changes at all. I think it needs more time... but maybe its also due to the fact i havent been much affected... i mean... i wasnt depressed, i wasnt really anxious, i wasnt bad communicator, i still could hold an eye contact with people even though i was PMO active...

    Anyway there are still few things that improved i thing... i mean... it can sounds weirdy, but sometimes, when i walk down my town, listening to a music or have a nice conversation with someone i like, i feel just... happy :O i mean... its weird, i feel like im high or something. Have u ever experienced such thing? I just go down the street, weather is nice and im just like high/bit euphorical... i feel like i want to just run or jump :O this is something i dont feel when im PMO active. And yet its something i always feel when im on like 16+ days streak.... so i deffo know it has something to do with the abstaining.

    Second thing - i can count on a single hand [fingers] how many hot girls inciated a conversation with me in my whole life... you know... probably just a few ones... but in last few days ive met two very attractive women that started conversation with me - they both introduced to me first [sry for ma eng.] with like "Im [her name] by the way..." and i felt pretty comfortable talking to them. I feel like i dont care that much what or how to say - just say whatever i want or feel... anyway, im pretty sceptical about "female attraction" stuff... but things like these make me feel like a man a bit, without touching my penis [thats how i used to convince myself im a man before...]

    On a physical basis, i wasnt very horny this month... of course, there were urges... but i was busy with other things so its not that massive... just last two days are very hard. Especially today - i feel like im going to die if i dont release asap... i had also a wet dream tonight (first in 10 years ...since i started PMO) so its possitive to me... but... u know... im horny horny horny... have i mentioned im horny?? -_- thats too much i feel like i want to make out with any semi attractive woman i see... i dont want to relapse, but guys... its massive today...

    So... this mont wasnt very hard - just last days are tough... havent experienced any major changes or so called benefits. I think this needs more time or more realistic expectations... anyway... its good, but its hard. And its good but its not a miracle - life is normal, just a bit more unguilty ;-)
     
    anewversion likes this.

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