Salt & Light
Fapstronaut
Hello everyone!
I'm an SO - I've been reading NoFap for a year.
Whilst on my journey of discovery I've gathered some 'considerations' for PAs.
I'm hoping I can help other PAs by gathering information for their consideration - starting with the basics, more threads to follow.
Please feel free to use this thread to discuss ideas and personal trials and accomplishments.
What has worked for you?
If any Fapstronauts have any additional tips or advice, I would love you to reply and I can Edit these in with a *Blue star to indicate this is a Fapstronaut (external) addition.
This is a long post, so please copy it and read in your own time if you need to
#1 - I've started with initial considerations when starting recovery, here it goes...
Consider the addiction. What you want to achieve, in the future and in the present?
Please don't become too focused on the far future. This is important but attempt learning to focus on the present.
Set realistic goals for yourself, daily or at most weekly. E.g:
'Today I'd like to make a journal entry and work out' OR 'by the end of the week, I will have researched and practiced a meditation session/s'
What is your daily plan? Be specific and try your best to stick to this.
Routine! Commit to 1/2/3 positive self improvements per day. Start slow if you need - don't overwhelm yourself (prevent stress). Build this up when ready.
What needs improvement or attention?
What is missing from your life, how could you be happier? E.g: activities & hobbies, what have you always wanted to try? Etc.
Start a journal
Vent all those feelings - even if you're never going to read it again - this is highly cathartic and can give insight to personal strengths and difficulties, don't worry if you're feelings are negative here - this is good, to healthily process negative energies.
*This may seem overwhelming but even if you add things to a general list you'll soon get a perspective of your needs to assist recovery. These things will accumulate over time, daily journal, work out, meditate etc.
*Consider what you will do or measures you will take during exposure... don't panic over this, just be prepared
Avoid use of mobiles, computers and laptops if needed/possible; at least until management of compulsions has been achieved. Be patient with yourself.
These symptoms are very dependent on the individual. Be aware, stress and depressive state can cause urges. Consider the ongoing adjustments in your mind and body during reboot, be patient but please consider seeking medical advice if symptoms become uncontrollable.
Try to eliminate negativity within yourself and the situation (compulsion) as this negative mindset only perpetuates urges. It causes and gives 'the crave' momentum.
Avoid using negative words when attempting to prevent self destructive behavior...it doesn't work and contributes to the negative mindset.
'Why am I struggling with this? I don't want to do this, I don't need it! What's wrong with me? I feel weak'
Try to remain positive, let go of self blame, shame and judgement. Move forward, stay strong and have faith in yourself.
*More examples will follow in #2 Thread
To follow, #2 Thread - considering;
I'm an SO - I've been reading NoFap for a year.
Whilst on my journey of discovery I've gathered some 'considerations' for PAs.
I'm hoping I can help other PAs by gathering information for their consideration - starting with the basics, more threads to follow.
Please feel free to use this thread to discuss ideas and personal trials and accomplishments.
What has worked for you?
If any Fapstronauts have any additional tips or advice, I would love you to reply and I can Edit these in with a *Blue star to indicate this is a Fapstronaut (external) addition.
This is a long post, so please copy it and read in your own time if you need to
#1 - I've started with initial considerations when starting recovery, here it goes...
Reboot Considerations
Possible techniques and strategies
Includes;Possible techniques and strategies
- Plan and develop
- Research
- Personal difficulties, triggers
- 'Sensitization'
- Symptoms of withdrawal
- No Negative, Purely Positive
Plan and develop:
*All good adventurers need a plan.
Consider the addiction. What you want to achieve, in the future and in the present?
Please don't become too focused on the far future. This is important but attempt learning to focus on the present.
Set realistic goals for yourself, daily or at most weekly. E.g:
'Today I'd like to make a journal entry and work out' OR 'by the end of the week, I will have researched and practiced a meditation session/s'
What is your daily plan? Be specific and try your best to stick to this.
Routine! Commit to 1/2/3 positive self improvements per day. Start slow if you need - don't overwhelm yourself (prevent stress). Build this up when ready.
What needs improvement or attention?
What is missing from your life, how could you be happier? E.g: activities & hobbies, what have you always wanted to try? Etc.
Start a journal
Vent all those feelings - even if you're never going to read it again - this is highly cathartic and can give insight to personal strengths and difficulties, don't worry if you're feelings are negative here - this is good, to healthily process negative energies.
*This may seem overwhelming but even if you add things to a general list you'll soon get a perspective of your needs to assist recovery. These things will accumulate over time, daily journal, work out, meditate etc.
Research:
Research is essential; learning about compulsive behavior. What is a behavioral addiction? Gaining a logical rather than emotional perspective on what you're going through.
- 'Your Brain On Porn' - Gary Wilson - addiction process in the brain
- https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/
- Symptoms of withdrawal
- Influences of stress and depression - mind and body
- How to manage stress and anxiety
- Mindfulness and other Meditations
- How to use positive language
- Betrayal Trauma - for those in relationships
- Relationship communication: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-fo...cism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
Personal difficulties:
Dig deep, analyse and assess feelings and triggers. Managing personal triggers can help you avoid a compulsive behavior pattern.
Connect with the self
- Consider what feelings are within you, where are they coming from?
- What is the root cause of the addiction?
- When/where did this begin and why?
- What was the trigger today?
*Consider what you will do or measures you will take during exposure... don't panic over this, just be prepared
Consider 'sensitization':
Association with certain activities or feelings (reminders). Computers, laptops, mobiles, media, loneliness, stress, boredom etc
Avoid use of mobiles, computers and laptops if needed/possible; at least until management of compulsions has been achieved. Be patient with yourself.
Symptoms of withdrawal:
This is a long list, put together by a Fapstronaut...
These symptoms are very dependent on the individual. Be aware, stress and depressive state can cause urges. Consider the ongoing adjustments in your mind and body during reboot, be patient but please consider seeking medical advice if symptoms become uncontrollable.
- Psycho-social dysfunction
- Anhedonia
- Depression
- Impaired interpersonal skills
- Obsessive-compulsive behavior
- Feelings of guilt
- Autonomic disturbances
- Pessimistic thoughts
- Impaired concentration
- Lack of initiative
- Craving
- Inability to think clearly
- Memory problems
- Emotional overreactions or numbness
- Sleep disturbances
- Physical coordination problems
- Stress sensitivity
- Increased sensitivity to pain
- Panic disorder
- Generalized anxiety disorder
- Sleep disturbance (dreams of using, behaviors associated with the life style)
No Negative, Purely Positive:
Negativity is where this addiction thrives.
Try to eliminate negativity within yourself and the situation (compulsion) as this negative mindset only perpetuates urges. It causes and gives 'the crave' momentum.
Avoid using negative words when attempting to prevent self destructive behavior...it doesn't work and contributes to the negative mindset.
'Why am I struggling with this? I don't want to do this, I don't need it! What's wrong with me? I feel weak'
- struggle - Convincing yourself this compulsion is a struggle and uncontrollable
- don't - negative association word
- wrong - negative association word
- with me - while this isn't technically negative wording, it points toward self blame
- weak - negative association word - leads to more self blame and judgement
Try to remain positive, let go of self blame, shame and judgement. Move forward, stay strong and have faith in yourself.
*More examples will follow in #2 Thread
To follow, #2 Thread - considering;
- No Negative, Purely Positive:
- Choosing the right voice to listen to
- 'Addiction voice'
- Negative vs Positive language and mindset
- Meditation
