1 year and 4+ months I still have femdom

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kligor, Jan 13, 2020.

  1. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Hi people of the planet Earth.
    Ever since i was little child i was attracted to femdom,when i was 5-6 years old i see some scene on tv which included femdom and then boom i was doomed.Since then i was attracted to femdom.
    TRIGGER WARNING:When i was 5-6 i didn't know anything,how to fap,what sex is?What fetish is?So i think i never got time to develop attraction to ti*s,pus*y you know mostly normal body parts from women.This femdom fetish isn't porn induced because i didn't know what porn is back then,so my question is will this ever pass?Like most porn induced fetish?Or will i ever be able to normal sex(you know what i mean,i m sure).I was about this to ask you all for advice or do someone have similar experience?I very close to total 500 days of nofap,i did 269 no PMO streak in row and this still follows me.Now i don't have problems with fantasy,urges are very rare,when urges comes i have no problem to resist and my femdom fetish is still here,it's very weak easy to control them but it is still here.Thank you for your time.
     
  2. It indeed doesn't look like a porn induced fetish. But if it really bothers you that much, maybe yould consult a psychologist or a sex therapist to sort it out.
     
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  3. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your time buddy,that was long post.
    Yes that isn't porn induced fetish so i think this will stay in my lifetime(This is some normal for me,nothing porn induced anymore i have),i hope i m wrong,but i accept myself how i m,didn't want to be like that.I m not sure about therapy but in future i will give it a try i have nothing to lose.
     
  4. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I know I keep saying this but stopping masturbating will never stop you getting turned on by it. Please go to a thread in my profile and see the links. You could try some serotonin supplements but look out for side-effects. I urge you to do it asap because the mental damage from femdom porn can be quite severe.
     
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  5. I read an blog post written by a sex therapist about fetishes and how to deal with them. I'm sure it's part of their jobs: to help people live a better life.
     
  6. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

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    Well when did you realize you had a problem? since you said at 5-6. I assume you are at least 17. meaning oh boy that may take over 10 years as that's the time you were into fendom content. May take less but typically you fully recover depending on the time you exposed yourself to your problem.
     
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  7. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Then i will give it a try!


    Hi buddy,i m 19 years old,yes that is much time.Some people call reboot 90 days.I m on 485 day now that is almost 5.5x times longer period of time so i guess this will stay like this except i do something about this.I realize i have a problem when i was something like a 12-13 years old,but i was always in shame back then to speak with someone about this.When i was 15-16 then i was little worried about this.
     
  8. CuthbertRogerson

    CuthbertRogerson Fapstronaut

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    Forgive me if these questions seem a little curt or rude. But is the fetish that you have so bad? You like to be with a dominant woman is there a problem with dating a woman who likes to be sexually dominant? If you’re both consenting adults and enjoy each other’s company, I’m not sure how that harms anyone.

    I’m thinking as I write this so forgive the train of thought here- am I right that you have the fetish and that is why you resort to PMO to satisfy the fetish?

    If that’s the issue, then maybe removing the fetish shouldn’t be your goal rather changing how you deal with it.

    I think the recommendation to get a therapist is perhaps the best way to go to help you understand your urges and develop a healthy way to deal with them.
     
  9. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Depends on how extreme the fetish is. Femdom fetishes are paraphilic disorders so causes mental damage if you increase serotonin enough after.
     
  10. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I understand you,no need to forgive anything you try to help me.
    -If you ask me,then yes i think this fetish is bad(there is far worse i know).But i accept myself how i m and i m not in shame anymore because i know this is something normal i m just ok with this.
    -No i have no problem to try to date girl who is sexual dominant,i like cute and good girl,but no problem to adapt.
    -No that can't harm anyone(Expect me MIGHT that's femdom but there won't be any damage i m sure)
    -There is no another explain why i relapsed :)
    -Yes in future i will visit therapist there is nothing i can lose.

    I just have one negative thing about this i feel insecure to date girl,because of this fetish,but that insecure can't stop me i will date her anyway.I will destroy that insecurity same as i did destroy PMO habit.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020 at 5:21 PM
  11. FoamRoller

    FoamRoller Fapstronaut

    Even if it was porn induced doesn't mean it will go away after nofap.

    It's can be like an infection and once it gets you your got there may be no going back.

    There is the reboot and then there is the rewire

    Doing the reboot should put you in a place where you can have normal sex and not need the femdom stuff to reach orgasm

    However if you want to do the femdom shit I'm sure there plenty of woman out there.
     
  12. TreyBall

    TreyBall Fapstronaut

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    This is your answer right here.

    I just spoke with you in another thread, and I believe you need to train your brain to want that dopamine from a different outlet.

    Try to rewire with a real girl.
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if you've tried the method in my profile but I urge you to do it if you haven't yet. Trust me, do not keep watching femdom porn as it can eventually escalate to you doing it for real. The mental damage from femdom porn can make you very suicidal if you increase serotonin after. I'm not religious but I'm scared what's going to happen to me after I die (don't ask lol).
     
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  14. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    No i didn't try that method but i read that.
    Did you in past have femdom fetish and you get rid of that with that method?
    i don't know what will happens with me after my death hahah :)
    I don't know but when i started nofap after few months i was suicidal,thanks god i m not anymore.
     
  15. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

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    Like I said it depends on the person. For those who recover within a year tended to have a minor problem. If your problem is much greater. It'll take more time.
     
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  16. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I got some idea and i tried that today.
    I will fantasy about vanilla things,because all is in the brain.I will try to change my perspective.
    TRIGGER WARNING:Today i just sit down on chair and start to think scene where i fu*k girl,i thinking that scene for maybe 5 minutes i m no arousal and i didn't get erection,so no success for now.I will watch vanilla porn someday to see what happens might not good idea but i just don't care.Nothing bad can happens.
     
  17. FoamRoller

    FoamRoller Fapstronaut

    This making a scene in your head thing? Why are you doing this? You don't need to do this! start talking to woman and going on dates. Learn to not think just let your arousal happen naturally and listen to your body don't go in your head just stay present to what is happening in front of you.

    The whole thinking and trying to force erections or arousal is just wrong, arousal should happen naturally when your around real woman.

    Rewire by hanging out with real woman and staying out of your head sexual thoughts will come let them pass like meditation eventually you will be turned on so many times by simple things like her lips her legs the way she talks, eventually you will be hard around her constantly for the right reasons you won't question yourself you'll be confident enough to make your move in fact you won't be able to hold back making your move when the time comes. just stay out of your head
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2020 at 3:51 PM
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  18. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I m natural attracted to femdom even before porn,before i know what sex is,what M is bla bla.So that is something which will hard to remove or might even not.
    I disagree,just by hanging out with girl will not change things,for me not.I already tried that,and i know what have aroused me back then.If i listen to my body i know what will happen nothing new.
    I will try vanilla method for 90 days and i will see what happens.Of course i will date girls no holding back.It sounds like sh!t idea but i can't do anything else alone.If i get aroused only once by vanilla during that 90 days i will never again watch those things,because that is my goal,normal sex.
     
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  19. FoamRoller

    FoamRoller Fapstronaut

    Interested to know how you noticed you were attracted to femdom before porn or masterbation?

    Have you ever been aroused to vanilla porn?
     
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  20. blunt.ever

    blunt.ever Fapstronaut

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    Hi, bro. I read your story and I recognize I'm in the same situation. My femdom fetish is in my brain before as me to descover pmo. What is vanilla method? I woud like to apply if I would know what's about.
     
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