1 year clean!! No PM!!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Uphillfighter22, Sep 29, 2018.

  1. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    Words cannot express how I feel!! Life has been incredibly busy with my new son, but i want to give a short schpiel to encourage those of you just starting out.

    About 365 days ago, I was at day 0. It sucked big time. Walls came crashing down and i had a choice: do more PM or turn from my sins. I chose to turn my life around and it has been the best decision ever. Was it easy? No; but with the right support from my family i was able to stay true to my decision.

    After a year it's also important to keep in mind that progress is not linear. I had some good months and some rocky months; some good weeks and some bad weeks. The trend for betterness and healing remains upward as long as you stay faithful to your decision.

    It's also important to note that this journey (or battle, depends on how you view it) requires you to cultivate positive thoughts daily. For a lot of us, we experience negative intrusive thoughts, negative feelings, negative emotions, negative, negative, negative, thanks to our negative addiction/habit. It's important to renew your mind daily. As I've always said in the past, the trend for improvement is upward, but the battle for your thoughts is a daily struggle. It's important to keep your mind healthy.

    For myself, i leaned into my faith and returned to my roots as a Christian. For you it might be buddhism, or Islam. For others, even atheism. Regardless of your background, one of the best weapons you have against this addiction is positivity. Make it a habit daily. Meditate, pray, read, sing, ponder, whatever; as long as you stay positive. Let me tell you thay even after a year, there are still gloomy days. There are still days when i have negative thoughts and emotions. It's important to understand that negativity is not something that dissapears with clorox or toothpaste. You can only beat negativity by being positive.

    That being said, I'd like to end this post with Philippians 4:8. You don't have to be religious to appreciate the words and the concept:

    Philippians 4:8
    8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

    PS: Celebrate! Celebrate the small victories! If you have the support of your family then make a nice dinner, or go out to a movie etc. For my wife and I we eat at a nice restaurant each month to celebrate the good and the positive. If you are single, go out with your friends. Meet new people, make new friends, connect, connect, connect! The possibilities after PMO are endless!

    Your latter days shall be greater than your former days! Stay true, stay strong and move forward!
     
  2. jk243

    jk243 Fapstronaut

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    Amen
    Can you give us any tips To fight the temptation?
     
  3. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    First, confess your sins to one another. Speak to a loved one, a friend, someone you trust. It's never an immediate fix but it's a start.

    Second, lean into your positive habits. Faith, exercise, whatever it may be. Also, as I've mentioned initially, you have to cultivate positive thoughts daily-renew your mind.

    It's a daily struggle, it doesnt always get easier but we get stronger.

    Go forward!
     
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  4. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

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    What are the benefits you're feeling and how would you say it has affected confidence and social anxiety?
     
  5. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    Better relations with my wife, better at social interaction (I've always been friendly but it feels more genuine now). Better at managing intrusive thoughts/anxieties. Unwanted thoughts/anxieties plagued me longer initially; now it only lasts a moment. Don't get me wrong, it still sucks but it's a massive improvement over the first 6 months. These will take a while depending on the person. I've read about people beyond the 2 year mark with obvious improvements, but still having to deal with anxiety and thoughts.

    For myself, i find myself biting my nails when i get a little anxiety/unwanted thoughts. Everyone copes in their own way.

    Anyways, the disclaimer here is that progress is not linear. Most importantly, any improvements you read about on this site are subjective to the person and the experience they've had. For myself my habit affected me more due to my faith despite not partaking in PMO on a daily basis. I felt more guilt because of my faith (which is good i guess, because faith is what turned me around). This might be different for someone who is going through this without any faith or spirituality involved.

    Anyways, hope that answers some of your questions!
     
  6. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

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    Well i'm glad you've repented. The Bible says fornication is not just a sin but a sin against your own body. No wonder there are sooo many problems that arise when you do it. This includes sex out of marriage and anything sexual out of marriage! but yes I think that everyone has anxiety to a certain extent. It's just a part of life. But fapping makes it unbearable
     
    Uphillfighter22 likes this.
  7. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I know you're married, but what about woman attraction? Do you feel your wife is more attracted to you? Seem to receive interest by women other than your wife?
     
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  8. Dave_29

    Dave_29 Fapstronaut

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    Change the lust feeling into love
     
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  9. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    Yes my relationship and attraction to my wife has improved! It is also true for me that women notice me more, but this has more to do with confidence and new found appreciation for life.
     
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  10. havana19

    havana19 Fapstronaut

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    " It's important to renew your mind daily." This is the keystone. Thanks for a great post.
     
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  11. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this. I'm an SO who is spiritual...I'm a Christian also and have found strength in God and Christian teachings. This is where I always turn.

    My thoughts go to those who are not spiritual? Spirituality or a connection to something 'other' seems a great addition to this journey of self improvement.
    My BF does not have this element in his life, he believes in 'something' more but it's not defined and he isn't particularly spiritual. His thoughts and beliefs are more inline with a 'intrinsically developed process' which we all live by - perhaps more logic based than feeling/faith.

    In fact he sometimes even struggles with the notion of a religion. I have explained, my religion is a chosen 'way of life' and he does appreciate my opposing choice. Yet he cannot connect with it, become open or responsive to a spirituality. I would never preach or force the need for 'belief' upon someone, that is disrespectful and essentially pointless as this cannot be forced.

    I don't refer to Christianity in particular - but simply... spirituality.

    What does one do without this feeling of faith, where do they go? I'm not sure how much thought or strength there is in atheism? Perhaps someone could enlighten me please? Hahaha!

    With respect to all here, religion/spirituality is such a deeply personal subject and I will appreciate all perspectives here x
     
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  12. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    I'm getting that with women, too. Double edge sword though so I have to be careful. It's nice.
     
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  13. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Big congrats mate! :)
    I have myself been abstaining from PMO for 7 1/2 months now and it is by far the best and most life-changing thing I have ever done. I have also regained my spirituality and do meditate and repeat mantras and prayers daily. Ever since I began this journey last winter, I have regained connection with my Lutheran faith and manage to live more according to Christian ethics than I used to.
    Every day, I am so grateful for the little things in life and that I possess one of the manliest skills on planet earth: That of conquering the temptation of self-abuse!!
     
  14. I don't normally write in the success stories, congrats on, one year. I have been in this jouney for about a year with a few relapses, I been a pmo addict for as long I can remember. I agree that, negative intrusive thoughts have been a reason why I keep running back to pmo. Your journey is very inspiring and with only 25 days without pm, I hope this time around I'm able to stay clean away from pmo.
     
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  15. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    How is orgasming with your wife different than with PMO, or even just MO?

    Why does doing it with her not make the anxiety come back and not make your addiction pop back up?

    If your brain can’t tell the difference between porn and a negative sexual fantasy during MO, then how does it tell the difference between PMO and orgams with wife.

    I ask because my journey will soon be departing from PMO hard more and I’ll be starting the no PM and only orgasm with my wife and want to be prepared. (I recently completed 6 months of no PMO hardmode)
     
  16. zibusiso83

    zibusiso83 Fapstronaut

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    Your story is a so encouraging even as I am a fellow Christian. Thanks for the bible verse. I am currently on day 35+...... stay blessed
     
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  17. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    One of my larger and more long-terms goals in the future with NoFap is not only to teach my fellow countrymen (which are under attack in every possible way these days) the perils and several life-crippling side-effects that PMO brings to the table. It is also to find a great woman (i.e. future wife) with whom I can deeply bond, connect and eventually have a large and thriving family with.
    Although I consider the PMO:ing during almost my entire 20's as wasted time, energy and capacity, I can't look back too much but instead focusing on still improving myself and what great things might be luring ahead in time.
    There are indeed men much older than me who have turned their life around so the saying that "It is too late for taking action" is nothing but rubbish.
    As long as you are alive and healthy, it is never too late for taking the action needed to improve your life!
     
  18. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    Thats awesome dude, glad to hear you are also having positive results! Looking forward to your 1 year update!
     
  19. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    That's awesome man, stay the course! The benefits outweigh the pain of abstaining. Just remember it's a daily battle for your mind.
     
  20. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    You're here and you want change which is great! Wanting change is the first step. Before wanting to change, I merely attempted to quit. Quitting was easy-i quit hundreds if not thousands of times. These attempts never worked because I did not take change seriously. I know it's very cliche, but there is nothing more powerful than a changed mind. Change your mind change your life!

    Replace those negative thoughts with positive! Read a positive book whatever it may be. Join a group, a church, a mosque, a temple, doesnt matter. Just stay positive and believe. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life!
     
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