1 year no hard porn - now for the rest

Hi - I'm 32 and got a year of no porn. I am making tons of life progress.

Update on progress.
I have 13 months of no porn - no viewing nude images or videos of any kind and no masturbating to images.

I allowed myself to look at scantily clad women and continue to masturbate. I had awful. Terrible withdrawals that lasted for 6 months and needed to break the project into multiple pieces to fully get over the withdrawals.

Now I'm starting to stop looking at all images and stop masturbating. It's brining on another set of withdrawals, but they are less intense, more like a loss of joy and everything is kind of flat, which isn't really so bad and I know that will change. Had a flat line immediately.

What I did
I've learned that I can't just stop one activity, I need to add other activities in it's place. For this whole year I picked weight lifting back up - going 3-5x/ week, going to SAA meetings, making serious progress in my career. On and off dating a woman for 6 months - no sex. I also called support people daily. I also bought a whole new wardrobe and landed a very nice apartment in a good part of Silicon Valley. I don't think any of the successes in my life would have been possible without getting free of porn.

Results/Superpowers?
I don't know about super powers. I know have regular powers. I can look people in the eye and not feel disassociated and in my head. I can be more confident as my hormones normalize. I am starting to not have the desire to isolate all the time. I quit playing video games again, quit smoking, quit eating junk food and put on 13lbs (half muscle/half fat - I messed up my diet for my bulk). I can now talk to women - tons more progress to go. I can get respect in the company I work in now that I'm not so awkward and shameful. There is a real correlation between porn use and my sense of not being able to fit in with people. Since quitting it, a lot of social dysfunctions have completely faded or are getting a lot better.

So I focussed on really rebuilding my life. I had been really in the dumps over an old girlfriend who I was with for 7 years.

I also saw a therapist 2x/week for 8 months. I was really committed to getting better, still am, it just feels like less work now.

I had sex for the first time in 2 years since breaking up with my GF and now feel much more confident around women.

Next stage
I'm tired of being bad with women, I'm tired of having weak erections, I'm tired of not having the social life I've been wanting. Tired of being tired of stuff.

So...I'm stopping masturbating and simultaneously adding 3-4 group events weekly into my schedule. I've figured out some good strategies for making friends as an adult

I hired a dating coach, which has been a really good move. Previously I had read a lot of PUA literature and tried a lot of those techniques. It had really changed how I relate to women and how I approach being attractive. Since working with my coach, I have a whole new template on how to date, how to escalate towards sex and how to honestly develop a relationship/ being able to have choice of partners. I haven't mastered the system yet, but I've come a long way.

I've also decided to do a fat cut for the first time. I'm aiming on losing 15lbs over the next 2-3 months.

My life is very full and I'm excited to keep growing my no porn experience day by day and amp it up with no m. I'm excited to enter back into the social world now that my social anxiety is a lot better and start to really date for the first time outside of long term relationships.

 

I started this journey 10 years ago. I've had periods free before. I feel like I finally have all the tools. I actually started this by going to SAA meetings before nofap was even around. I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to be like this anymore.

 

starting to have cravings come back. It's the feeling that I'm venturing into unknown. learning to date. getting out of my little isolated cave of a life. Treading into lots and lots of events. Not hanging on the computer much at all any more. No more online games, no more youtube, no more netflix (i'm even considering just canceling it), listening to different music, dressing differently, eating differently, different taste in friends. It's bizarre, it's like my entire life is upended having gotten some traction with no porn. I still jack off by the way and still look at models in clothes online, i'll get over that soon enough. The changes from just not looking at naked people and people having sex has done wonders on my life. I can only imagine what it will be like in a year and when i pull the cord on image and masturbation as a whole. In the past i had rejected NoFap. i thought it was a pretty dumb website of people who didn't really understand recovery. It's been helpful to see other's succeed. Rambly post..