10+ Years of Fetish Porn - Reboot Journey.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mo987123, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. Mo987123

    Mo987123 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone. I’m new here to the community and I think it’s a great idea to have this place to come and help/seek help etc

    Hopefully without rambling on this is my story of where I was/where I am now/ where I want to be.

    Where I was:

    Since the age of 13/14 I quickly found the internet and the short clips you’d get on sky tv adult channels. I believe my inner fetishes first stemmed from playing cops and robbers as a child = bondage.

    Fast forward to the internet and more and more extreme pictures/videos then turned into foot fetish and everything you can probably think of under the bdsm category: rushing home from school and college to masturbate hard to all images and tabs.

    I never really dabbled with chicks till college/uni and being a smart lad I already started to ask the self doubting anxiety questions to do with sex. I’m not a virgin but I feel I practically am - every attempt I manage to get it up but very feeble and goes soft within a minute.

    Where I am now:

    Fast forward I am now 25, During my most active years most of my sex attempts where non-fetish, some kinky stuff but always came back to usual penetration. I went to the docs to rule out physical ED, and this is where I googled and came across PIED - this is definitely what I think I have mixed with very bad performance anxiety.
    I do have a current girlfriend who I have been with 3 month but yet to have sex due to nervousness and wanting it to work - I’ve been honest and told her of past problems (but not the porn/fetishes and everything else.

    Where I want to be:

    I want to change my life. My sexual life. Through my early years I’ve gritted and gotten by through problem after problem - I have attempted NoFap but never really got over 30 days, I feel I could quit porn but never really the thoughts or the dick playing, always go over bdsm scenarios randomly in my head. I want to heal so I can not have to think will I get it up and it be natural to roll over, slap my girls ass and get right to it- note I don’t want to completely get rid of exciting sexual stuff, kink is fun but I now realise it’s the attitude, the quitting of porn and the honesty with yourself and other partners.

    It’d be great to get some feedback, success stories of a similiar kind, will I ever heal? Any tips? Etc

    Thanks a bunch we can do it!!!
     
  2. Mo987123

    Mo987123 New Fapstronaut

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  3. shamrock19

    shamrock19 Fapstronaut

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    Your story is very similiar to mine in regards to fetishes and what not... Mine started of quite modest but then due to me not sharing them in real life were moulded by porn which has obviously become problematic
     
  4. My go to in my head during sex with wife (when pied wasn't kicking my ass) was cuckold, only thing that got me off was imagining her getting it from other guys. Even to the point asked if she wanted it, she was fairly repulsed by the idea. But desperate to get me off would roleplay like other guys were there in the room. That went on for years. Only way to get and sustain and erection was on my back. If I even moved my leg it would go limp. 3 weeks of reboot and I could stand there in front of her with a full erection. And was able to have successful (both parties orgasm) WITH a condom, sex. All my sensitively had returned. Sex finally felt like something I wanted to do again. And I mean it felt AWESOME, like nothing I had ever felt.


    -------- trigger warning. --------


    The wife took a shot in the arm for her self confidence, for years she had to provide some sort of stimulation to get me ready. She had never seen a man just turned on to be near her.
    (We were both virgins, only been with eachother) she had several Os and enjoyed her time. As well as I found out all these years, all the PMO had left my erections crippled and barely functioning. I thought 5.5" was the best I'd ever do. After reboot I had nearly 7" believe it or not. This isn't bragging or lewdness. This is inspiration, you can do it, achieve full functionality and feel full sensitivity. So......God damn worth it.
     
  5. Palusot14

    Palusot14 Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring to hear the struggles, the fears and the successes that everyone shares, it is very inspiring and provides hope for me. I'm 50 y/o with a 25y/o girlfriend. She changed my life and I want to make her happy. I want to get rid of PMO completely out of my life.
     
  6. Eaglevision_2019

    Eaglevision_2019 Fapstronaut

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    Lacunna, doesn't 5,5'' to 7' feel like an exaggeration. Just saying
     
  7. Mo987123

    Mo987123 New Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring! Great to hear you got over your cuckold PIED - I think it is a lot to do with the performance anxiety that is caused by lack of real ness- the only sex I’ve managed to have albeit sloppy and quick has been on my back!

    Therefore I’m petrified that trying entry on doggy, missionary etc I’m a ticking time bomb before the little fella goes down.

    Currently I’m 24 days no porn and NoFap - although it is hard to not have little feels when in the shower etc when needing to touch it!

    What’s your thoughts on pills to overcome PIED?
     

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