10 Years of My Life, and How I Took Back My Destiny

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by ReachYourHighestPeak, Jul 20, 2019.

  1. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    Hey everyone :) I hope you all are having a nice first day of the rest of your lives.

    So today I want to share my NoFap story, and hopefully bring some hope and insight to people on a similar journey.

    I first tried to stop PMO when I was about 13 years old, after about a year of it. I was completely unaware of any research supporting NoFap, I simply knew that if I felt as cold, empty, and depressed as I did after PMO, then I probably shouldn't be doing it.

    For years and years though, my longest streak was only 3 days, after which, I would make up for lost time. Even though I knew I wanted to stop, I didn't know how.

    Once in high-school I went for a full 2 weeks, and I felt like a f*ing king! It was only 2 weeks, but I was making better grades, improving my chess game noticeably, and had even started dating this girl I thought was amazing.

    It was at this time, at 16 years old, I caught a peek of what was on the other side. Pure confidence, bounds of energy, and best of all, real happiness from within (not that fake sh*t you get from other people's approval and material things). But I quickly blew it, and went right back to the old ways, the old me. PMO 6-7 days a week, socially anxious, tired all the time, and super needy with girls. I tried so many different things, but nothing would last longer than a few days.

    After barely graduating high school, I went to a 100% admission-rate college, where I only lasted a few months before experiencing debilitating social anxiety that made it seem like I couldn't go to class, or even the grocery store.

    It wasn't until I was 19 that I really started seeing lasting results. I was in a really change-oriented point of my life, and I was desperately trying to figure out who I was, and what the hell I was supposed to do with my life. I started expanding my mind with new ideas and concepts, and ultimately was becoming a new person.

    During this period, I was able to cut down to an average of once per week. 1 PMO per week! I had no idea why I was able to do this or what was different this time, but I was stoked to be making progress after 7 years of almost daily failures.

    Then I started having HUGE streaks. 30 days, 60 days, then 111 days! But I was doing it the wrong way. I had realized that through fasting and very restrictive diets, I could suppress sexual energy much more easily. What I didn't realize at the time, was that this still was not going to lead to success in other areas of life.

    After these huge streaks, I would relapse once, then go back to the old 1-2 times a week routine for a while.

    Over the years I tried many destructive things, including:
    • Fasting
    • Restrictive Diets
    • Self-harm

    And at the lowest point in my adult life, I seriously considered castration, and even suicide. I figured if I can't even stop touching my wiener, there's no way I'll ever be able to take charge of more complicated areas of my life.

    How could I ever control my life's path if I can't control my right hand?

    My problem with PMO eventually led me to :
    • Homelessness
    • Extreme Social Anxiety
    • Paranoia
    • The most painful depression I've ever experienced
    • Lose a very rewarding paid internship
    • An inability to talk to women
    • Erectile Dysfunction at 19 years old

    to detail some of the worst.

    Eventually, I made the decision that I was either going to stop PMO once and for all, or I was going to jump off a building.

    I gave myself a time-frame and got to work.

    I looked back to the progress I made years earlier that took me from 1 per day to 1 time a week, and I realized something absolutely crucial.

    You can't suppress sexual energy. You CAN"T. But you CAN choose how your sexual energy, this purely creative force, is expressed in your life. You can choose to waste it on a couple hours of single-handed lust, or you can build the Great Pyramid of Giza, invent the incandescent light-bulb, and even find the woman of your dreams.

    I also realized that your character, your personal identity is like a Rubik's Cube. Imagine PMO addiction as a single piece on the Rubik's Cube. You can't move one piece without moving an entire layer of the cube, you can try but it just won't work!

    So in this same way, you can't just stop a PMO habit without changing a lot of other aspects of yourself, it just won't work.

    BTW, this is how so-called "superpowers" work. By moving one piece, you are moving several pieces of your internal character, and who you are as a person.

    The key is to find the other aspects of your person that need to change in-order to allow the necessary changes to take place.

    As soon as I realized this and started applying it to my struggles, my entire life changed. No longer was I homeless, scared of women, or unable to buy groceries.

    No longer was I a failure.

    Since that point, I've started a few successful businesses, experienced love with a romantic partner with a depth that I never thought was possible, and ultimately revolutionized my entire life!

    My experience of life itself has never felt so deep and full. If I want something, I have the confidence to get it. Money, friends, relationships, love, experiences, you name it.

    I finally have control of myself, I finally have control of my destiny!

    It's crazy to think back to where I was before. I think back to that time, and I don't even recognize the person I was. I am without a doubt an entirely different person than I was before.

    I didn't kill myself. Instead, I gave birth to a new me, a new man

    Sometimes I wonder where I would be today if 12 year-old me had been able to quit.

    I know there are others with very similar battle scars, many going through the same struggle as I write this. Please know that it does get better, and you are not alone.

    You can take your power back, you CAN control your destiny in this life.

    Well guys, that's my story. A little disorganized, but there it is!

    Hopefully my story can give hope and shorten the struggle for someone.

    If you've got any questions, or just want to talk about your situation, shoot me a message! I'm always happy to talk :)
  2. EightDalla

    EightDalla Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing your story man - did you ever struggle with PIED? That’s my main issue and motivation behind NoFap..

    I love how you put your energy into other things. Hey do my a favor and check out my story and tell me what you think! I could use the encouragement :)
    ReachYourHighestPeak likes this.
  3. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    Yeah EightDalla, the very very few times I had opportunities with actual women, I couldn't do anything about it. Scared the hell out of me at 19, couldn't get it up.

    And yeah, if you don't put your energy into other things, it will try to find it's way out of you the way you've used the most, being your wiener.

    Send me a message with the link to your story man!
    EightDalla likes this.
  4. vad

    vad Fapstronaut

    Wow, that is a very beautiful story! You are so brave, so very brave!! Keep it up and don't ever give up!!!
  5. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

    A great read although I would say fasting is not all that bad. Nonetheless very inspiring and I think we can all relate to some aspect of this, thanks man.
  6. EightDalla

    EightDalla Fapstronaut

    Here's my link bud: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/32-starting-my-pmo-journey.241987/
  7. Let me think, you didnt have a job at age 19 and after you regain yourslef, bceame new person, you started few businesses ?
  8. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    VeryImportantNick, I was actually a web developer getting paid less than minimum wage via an internship. This was just before I became homeless and lost the internship.
  9. I am in similar situation
    I lost my internship recently
    That was office job. It was supoosed to last 6 months and after that company had to hire me for 3 months.
    They thanked me after 5 months of my job saying in papers that my work was bad and I was lazy
    Thats not true 100 %
    The real problem was my social anxiety.
    I didnt set boundaries for my coworkers.
    I was not defending myself. I didnt have good relationships with coworkers (they age was 23-27), I bet they were gossiping about me.
    I was overloaded with work, there were things I still didnt understand well.
    Yes, I agree I did some mistakes too.
    ReachYourHighestPeak likes this.
  10. But I was doing many many things and they only highlighted my mistakes.
    i can somehow think that its not my fault because generally job was stressful, and you were responsible of many things at the same time
    I think if I had bettersocial skills and mental abilities I could do better.
    But experience is experience.
    Now I dont know
    Dont feel like going to job now...
    I want to at least do 2 months of no PMO, take care of mtseld during that time. Read alot of books.
    And then start looking for a new job.
    I wishi could start some internet business.
    Like selling some shit on ebay or something.
  11. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    I understand. It can be really hard to excel in a career environment when we've got so much going on inside of us that needs to be dealt with.

    How is your social anxiety now?
    FX-05 and Big Lebowski like this.
  12. Carnegie

    Carnegie Fapstronaut

    Why would you say fasting is bad? I am now doing 16/8, however a couple of weeks ago I was successfully doing 22/2.

    I have read it has some huge positive consequences, as increased growth hormone release and heightened focus.

    P.S Very inspirational post, thank you for sharing.
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2019
  13. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    Bro, don't wish to be something, f*cking decide to be it and make it happen.

    In 2 months my friend, you can become the man you need to be to make your dreams come true. Starting an online business, selling things on eBay, whatever you want to do man. But don't expect to be able to do it as the person you are now. If the person you are today could do it, you would have already done it. You literally have to turn yourself into the man that's capable of achieving your dreams.

    If you want something, decide that you will have it. Don't just wish for it.
  14. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    Thank you Mr. Carnegie and very good points, you're exactly right.

    I should probably edit that to say "Excessive Fasting". I never ate before 4pm or after 10 pm (not so bad) but I would often only eat every other day, and then just eat fruit on the eating days.

    I still do intermittent fasting at 18/6 today, but I do it with far more responsibility, and I eat almost everyday.
    Carnegie likes this.
  15. Carnegie

    Carnegie Fapstronaut

    Did you ever try the ketogenic diet? It seems a good fit with IF.

    Btw, I wonder what kind of businesses you own? I am myself involved in advertising and consulting at the moment, and some other projects planned for the future.
    FX-05 likes this.
  16. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    Yeah I did vegan keto for about 6 months, and 1 month was with 18/6 intermittent fasting. I kinda felt like a car running clean bio-diesel. Definitely made the IF a little easier

    So most of my businesses now revolve around technology, both programming and cybersecurity. It's really a lot of fun, especially security :)

    But because of my personal history with PMO, I'm also really passionate about helping other guys with similar struggles move on to the next level of their life. So I've been spending an increasing amount of time recently obsessing over models of recovery, and becoming an overall better coach to make sure I maintain a 100% success rate with my clients.
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2019
  17. Thank you, it will be my motivation
  18. Well, my social anxiety
    If there is a need to call someqhere I can do it. I have a gf and when I go with her to a restaurant or cafee I feel okay.
    But I feel stress when interacting with her parents. I dont attend her family parties with her. She understands me but she says that she is starting to miss me on those parties.
    I feel like such thing would blow me :/
    If I have good mood I could interestly chat with female classmate on University. More difficult if its new person.
    But things are bad when I am alone in different group, where I didnt form any good relationship. I dont speak to anyone, I avoid social contact there.
    I would like to get rid of weird fear and have that natural something in myself.
    To have that "social vibe" or something.
    that I can meet anyone I want, behave properly, always act how it supposed to be ect.
    When I was at that job, I had that big fear when I was meeting my boss. As something stucked in my throat and pumped my heart beat up.
    The same when once police stopped my car because of my mistake.
    my heart was crazy and it was demanding for me to say what I want...

    Well, now I wish to have friends. At least one. Gf is super, I love her but I would like a friend too. Because I cant always meet up with her, sometimes she is unavailable.
  19. I had few relapses in April and May and June
    I also felt that all things were going bad at that time..At job and school
    It started at math class
    It was somewhere at beginning of April
    The teacher said we will have extra points for exam if we come to the board and do something. People started raising hands and coming to board
    I started feeling very anxious, and big need to get out of there. My heart was beating fast and I felt so bad I felt like I need more air.
    for my luck I was sitting in the first row in a group...

    Well from there I started feeling more weird and bad, had more stress at job, and I did relapses at the same time.

    Ugh, but I was doing fine till that time.
    My gf was even jealous, that I was talking with girls at University.
    Well, but something went wrong in me. .
    And my social anxiety arised
  20. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

    I remember being where you are man. I used to have panic attacks just going to the grocery store and buying food. My heart would nearly jump out of my chest with fear if someone I didn't know tried to talk to me. I almost passed out one day when a 30 year-old woman from the next office came to ask me to fix her computer. Eventually I stopped going to my college classes because I was too anxious to get out of my car.

    Now I go out go talk to strangers for fun, I make friends very easily, and I can command entire groups with the sound of my voice. It may seem impossible for you now, but it can be done without medication and without struggle. Don't worry my friend.
    Deleted Account likes this.

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