100 Cold Approaches

@Ghost79

It's a good thing that you're living healthy right now.

As for being depressed, I can only give you some 'bro advice' but that shouldn't detract you from potentially seeking professional help.

Do you think you're depressed because of the lack of female intimacy in your life? If so, then you should be cautious with the idea that just having a woman in your life will magically solve all your issues.

Ideally, you should get into game with a certain feeling of satisfaction with life. Besides, women sense it if you're setting a frame that you need her in order to be happy.

I know the situation is a catch-22 when being depressed is a pussy repellant and failure with women can make you depressed. It can feel like you're stuck and you don't have that Matthew effect of getting positive feedback. Try to break this cycle. If you feel dissatisfied because you hate your job, then maybe reconsider your career. If you feel anxious and fidgety because you're constantly checking your smartphone, then maybe reconsider your smartphone habit. I know it sounds simple, but it isn't. That's life.

I don't know how your approaches are and I think what matters the most is that you're able to approach. You're going direct and that's very commendable. But I want to know: how are your general conversational skills? In another thread you said that you expect something in return from your approaches. In reality, women don't owe you anything.

If you're having the mindset that women will just throw themselves in your arms because you introduced yourself to them, then you're losing more than you are gaining because it will only lead to bitterness and entitlement, thus killing the vibe that they find pleasant. You need to be more chatty than average where you can talk at length about random topics [something you can train].

Maybe focus on your ability to have smalltalk first and then try direct once you feel that you have a solid social calibration. Personally I think going direct works effectively if you have the intrinsic value to show for, either astronomic confidence or good looks.

 

1 approach today. 1 number.

Haven't done any approaches in a while. The reason is that I'm currently residing at my grandmother's house to study and write for university.

Today I went for a walk at the countryside and I crossed a woman waking her dog. I asked something about the breed and we end up talking for a while. A Greek-Italian woman who was already in her 30's I think but I was attracted. We engage in small talk and when things dry up I ask her name but I don't really suggest exchanging contact details [I was weaseling about the age gap or something]. I say it was nice meeting her etc. and then I continue walking. She says "Maybe I see you again." After she said that, I realized I'd regret it all day if I didn't go for the number, I need to grab my chance so I turn around and say "Look... if you want." and she spontaneaously says that I can have her number. She laughs when I give her my old Nokia. I said I use it for productivity reasons, but it would have been manlier to hold frame and own it instead of giving explanations.

Can't deny I got the overwhelming daygame buzz after this. Pure countryside "game".

Tomorrow I'll probably go to the city again [it's been a while] and it's likely I will do some approaches again...

Oh yeah... last week I suddenly received messages on WhatsApp from a lead that was already dead before it even came alive. It was the first number from this new set of 100, the Iranian girl I approached in the supermarket. She didn't answer my first message I send her the day after I approached her. 3 weeks later and she says that she's sorry that she didn't answer and that she wants to explain why etc. She says she wants to meet for a coffee.

Actually, I was at the countryside last week and I didn't really feel like going to the city just for her so I suggested next week [this week]. I refused to text her a lot but kept it minimalist instead. I suggested meeting Tuesday but then it died on the vine again. Yeah I could have gone on a date with her last week but I have zero regrets not going. I have put myself and my studies first. Don't let a girl you don't know dictate your schedule, because she's certainly not doing that for you, believe me.

I also remember I did a street indirect opener on a girl who left a snackbar where she worked. I will add that too.

6/100
2 numbers

 

4 approaches today

They were all contextual/indirect... 3 in the library. A girl I recognized from Zoom class. A girl next to me in the library. A Chinese girl who sat next to me on another spot [pointing at her browser: "Excuse me, is that Chinese?"]. The other was in a print shop. A Middle Eastern girl with her mom. Don't really see the point in transcribing/describing all the interactions.

Intense emotional rollercoaster today...

First, the Iranian girl texted me yesterday [after I posted my last update] that she's up to meet me today at 2 pm but then there was a contingency that made her flake. She's now suggesting Thursday.

Also, the blonde local girl who ghosted me like 4 weeks ago suddenly bounces back with a message on WhatsApp, asking me if I'm going to the library. I actually was but I didn't go meet her. Didn't make myself available to her.

I'm now texting a bit with the Greek-Italian woman.

Will see where it all goes.

I need more/new leads though.

10/100

 

2 approaches. 1 date.

I had a coffee date with the Iranian girl. It was nice. This time I really gave the date a touch of spice. But this might have to do with the fact that she seemed responsive. At a certain point she was talking about Iran and said that dating was prohibited there whilst she was making a gesture towards our interaction. I interpreted this as a green light to go further than just talking for the sake of comfort. I was more direct and escalatory than the previous times. I tried to be more in the moment. Embraced silence with comfort. She might come to my home in a few days. But these things are all tentative, and I know that girls flake even after a date that went objectively good.

Like @Spirituss's recent post mentioned, it's only when taking away that pressure of your shoulders to perform that you can reach that natural state where things seem to flow more easily where you allow the femininity of the girl enter your masculine stoic frame. This might require a total metamorphosis of your personality and usual thought patterns, but it can be a liberating experience. I'm not completely there yet of course.

Approaches:

One in the library: a first-year law student. Situational opener. Was actually going good in the chat but I ejected. That's fine.

Direct on te street: was walking past 2 girls [caught them up] and gave a fly-by compliment about one girl's hair. One girl was touching the other girl's hair so I thought why not. I didn't 'stop' them for conversation and this time I made sure I was more in sight when delivering the sentence, although they probably heard the compliment before seeing me. But it was more 'smooth' than the last compliment.

12/100
2 numbers
1 date

 

1 date. 1 kiss.

Went on a date with the Greek-Italian MILF. I picked her up with her dog and drove to a restaurant in my town where we had a tea/coffee. After that I suggested if she wanted to come over to my house. Once there we basically had an intense make-out session for an hour with her dog constantly getting all crazy. She didn't want to go further than kissing.

I'm going to refrain from describing this in a macho-bravado way though. It was just an intense rollercoaster where she didn't want to go further but then rubbing my crotch and letting me suck her tits, but then again showing resistence saying that I'm too young etc...

What a mundane countryside walk can lead to...

12/100
2 numbers
2 dates
1 kiss

 

12 approaches. 1 i-date. 2 numbers.

Went to the capital city to do some direct daygame. Did it with a wing who I met on a pick-up forum.

Guys who have been following this thread for a while know that I usually approach girls indirectly. I ask them for non-personal information and try to derail it to a personal conversation where I build rapport.

I must say that I felt like a guy who was about to do his first approach again. I felt naked. Couldn't hide behind a fake pretense of asking for the "the closest supermarket". Don't get me wrong, I like indirect in my repertoire, but what's the point in trying to get better in seduction if you don't have the balls to say to a woman you don't know that you like her?

Arguably, direct daygame is the golden standard of all forms of meeting women. Because it's so damn hard. You take total control over the interaction.

The first girl I approached looked a bit annoyed. Name of the game.

Then we hit a mall where we each do some 'hit-and-runs' as a warm up, i.e. giving girls compliments with no real intention to engage in conversation. Like this you get into a courageous/social vibe.

I felt a lot of avoidance mechanisms. That's why going out with a wing can be good because you simply can't call off the session at the first sign of mental resistance. One of my problems is that I tend to take satisfaction when I just do a few approaches so I can call it the day and do the ceremonial update of my approach counter [I even felt this during the warm-up]. In the beginning we both kept suggesting other venues to go to, which I think was a form of weaseling too, thinking that going to venue X will solve the approach anxiety.

The wing was a chill dude, he didn't put pressure on me and took action once he was in the vibe. He did one of these ballsy 'front stops'. I did my first one too. Had a pleasant chat with a really pretty girl on the big square. She spoke my language so it didn't have to be in English. She rejected when I asked for her number. Maybe because she was with her not so pretty friend [she looked at her when I asked for it].

Instant date with a woman of mature age, but an attractive woman nontheless. She was looking at the shop window of a coffeeshop where pastries where displayed. My approach wasn't a strictly direct but arguably indirect-direct: "Excuse me, you look confused." We went inside the coffeeshop and she bought me a tea. She was a bit crazy though. I think she wanted to continue the interaction after the coffee date but I decided to return to my wing. I took her number but at that point I did as a matter of routine instead of genuine interest. By that time my wing decided to end his session. I was reliefed because I was honestly satisfied with today's work too. Overall a positive experience.

When I'm at the train station again, I still find myself in a social/brave mood so I go compliment a really cute girl. She was really in awe when I said that she looked nice.

Then I was waiting at my train towards home and I see a cute Morrocon girl walking around on my platform. When she passes me, I say something like [after establishing in which language I have to deliver...] "Excuse me, I think you look nice. I would regret it if I didn't say hi." [I more or less used this throughout the day] then I said something about her green outfit and how I like green because it's relaxing [stacking]. Then she says "So you like green?" and then we just get chatting. We get on the same train and she sits next to me. We both get off at the next stop and I continue the chat for a bit. Then I end it and number close.

Once I arrive at the train station of my home town I see that a cute blonde girl is debarking too. I contemplated an approach on the platform but then I thought I'd leave it because I did enough. Then I take my bike and ride towards home. She was walking in the same direction I was riding so eventually I gave her a compliment from my bike. I see that she didn't understand me and takes off her headphones, so I decided to stop to deliver the compliment again [said she had a nice jacket]. She smiled and said thanks. Apparently she was Polish and I do feel that there was no real reason to eject myself out of the interaction.

What I think is hard about going direct is to make that transition from opening to having a normal conversation. Once she asks you a personal question, it's really just about having a conversation. Keeping her attention after the compliment by making some playful assumptions is far from a picknick. One problem I had was that I asked boring interview questions like "Are you from ___?", "How long have you been here?". With indirect this problem was solved by rambling ad nauseam on the topic you opened a conversation about until she asks you a question. I tried some of the 'London Daygame Model' stacking routines like "When I think of France, I imagine you eating ___" This will probably take a lot of practice to get good at.

24/100
4 numbers
2 dates
1 i-date

 

1 approach. 1 date.

I had a coffee date with the Morrocon girl I approached last Saturday. I think it's the first date I got from direct daygame.

She's really a sweet girl with values. She was really putting an effort in the conversation, asking me a lot of questions. I tried not to see the date as a performance but just be in the moment instead. I touched her knee sometimes, but no hard escalation. I anticipated taking her to the park for the kiss. This plan failed because she had to go back. Either way at a certain point I verbalized why I approached her. She also said that she takes interest in religion and I asked her if dating would be a problem. Like this I tried to allude to the fact that I have romantic interest and that I'm not trying to hide it.

At a certain point we reached a point of silence. I just kept eye contact and looked at her stoically. She laughed and took on the burden of conversation again. Normally I wouldn't be able to deal with the discomfort of silence and say random stuff instead. Embrace silence.

So for the last 2-3 months I had dates with 6 different women who I met through approaching. It's the end of the semester, and I'm pretty happy with that I've achieved [although one ought not to focus on results]. Sure, I could have done way more approaches but it's not that I feel like Schindler at the end of that movie "I could have done more..."

Although I've been dating in my home country, only one of them was Belgian. The others were Greek, Albanian, Greek-Italian, Iranian and Morrocon. It looks like I do well with Mediterranean/Middle-Eastern. I'm not going to lie, I like these olive skin women...

I'm now going to focus on my studies. I won't be approaching but I will keep eating healthy and exercising. Like this, the transition to get back into daygame in the summer won't be so hard.

I did like 1 approach today. Asked some girls for a pen on the train [although I had one myself, doing it for the sake of it]. I also opened up with a girl in the print shop, but I didn't really like her. I will merge these two into one.

25/100
4 numbers
3 dates

 

I appreciate your support and willingness to stick with me!

I just went for a walk in the forest. When two girls passed I said to one that she looks nice. She thanked me.

There's something pure about communicating to a girl that you like her. You feel alive. It's a win-win. You feel good, she feels good.

26/100