100 Cold Approaches

Human_Limits said:
You are destroying your self esteem as a man by participating in this sex-free-for-all culture just like the women/girls who also engage in it.
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Dont care to engage in discussion with you. You call this thread degenerate yet your here. Please leave! U r not going to change any of our minds. Please go, I will not debate you and I will not even entertain your point of view. This is degenerate right? Cool, be off! Stop trolling.

Anyways, lets get back to regularly scheduled program. Guys keep approaching & keep improving, the haters will always hate cuz they cant do what we do. Eacha nd every one of you approaching and/or hope to approach are awesome people. Lets go!!
 
500 said:
I am not having sex with any women right now. Also, for me personally, I am looking for a wife or long term girlfriend. That’s why I am doing approaches. My intentions are 100% pure, and I’m only approaching girls I genuinely have an attraction to

How else are we supposed to meet women besides approaching them? I also don’t have a friend group right now, so can’t rely on mutual connections
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Dont listen to that guy for sure. Last week, 3 of my friends went out with me to a bar. We each talked to like 5-10 girls. We got phone numbers and they enjoyed our company and we enjoyed their company. One girl who was hot and horny had a one night stand with one of my friends. So, the way it went was they met at a bar, they talked and made out, they exchanged phone numbers and that was that. Until....She texted him, "wya". meaning come over and lets fuck which they did. Women, as it turns out also enjoy sex. They can even see us as a piece of meat. But, when the discussion becomes about piece of meat and blah blah, thats usually said by guys who never approach and put women on a pedastal and likely had OF subscriptions. Like I said, we went out and talked to a lot of girls, and the girls talked to alot of guys. We set up dates and one of my friends smashed....correction....the girls smashed him. What we do here is write about our experiences and doing so does not make women look like a piece of meat.

If you are looking for a long term relationship or marriage, you are doing the right thing by approaching. So, the place I get the most women hitting on me to point they follow me around is at work, I know wtf why work. But, thats were most of us spend the most of our time per day. I never had the courage to talk to them and if I did I am certain I would have found either a gf or wife. This is also why I approach. Loser guys who talk like nerdy redditors wont understand, its best to ignore and not feed them by not acknowledging their existence. They dont understand how the world works. Keep going dude, I am most certain you will find your girl. But, u gotta improve man, I dont see any lessons learned from your posts. But, I am certain you will get there. Good luck!
 
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Lastly, trolls aside. My friends went out tonight but I will not go with them. its thanksgiving break here in the US and I am gonna spend time with family. I cant wait until the following week where we are determined to go hard and write about it here and my sex and the city journal. Stay tuned.
 
Human_Limits said:
How would you feel if I "self improved" and "gamed" your sister or your mother or one of your female family members at a bar, picked her up and took her home and smashed her for a one night stand??????
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1.) Up to my sister and mother, they wouldnt go with a guy like you to begin with. My family dont do one night stands, they never have. They are happily married.
2.)But, a lot of women arent like that and thats fine too. And talking to them isnt about manipulating, its about getting a mutual consent to have sex. It benefits both parties.
3.) A guy like you dont have the skills to smash and get a one night stand so dont kid yourself. As a matter of fact thats why you call this thread degenerate, its cause you are the rejected male. You say casual sex is bad but u watch porn and wish you were having it. You are the typical religious guy.

Like I said, if this thread is degenerate then leave! You will not be changing anyones mind. Just leave and go about ur life. But, like porn ur gonna lurk, insult, criticize and eventually pmo to porn. Typical religious guy syndrome.
 
are bars the only real acceptable places to approach? i noticed people mention grocery stores and that’s where i mainly frequent. i want to start approaching after i get a good streak going on nofap (already at 46 days) but so far i dont see my social anxiety or low confidence with women fading.
 
TheCarver said:
are bars the only real acceptable places to approach? i noticed people mention grocery stores and that’s where i mainly frequent. i want to start approaching after i get a good streak going on nofap (already at 46 days) but so far i dont see my social anxiety or low confidence with women fading.
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bro i was just like you. Start at bars. What helped me is having a friend who approaches first and bringing me along. So, I dont have to do anything but converse. Then, I got the confidence to approach myself. Good luck! 46 days is more than enough. Start approaching ASAP!
 
hope2overcome_ said:
bro i was just like you. Start at bars. What helped me is having a friend who approaches first and bringing me along. So, I dont have to do anything but converse. Then, I got the confidence to approach myself. Good luck! 46 days is more than enough. Start approaching ASAP!
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thing is i dont like bars or nightclub settings because i dont even drink. so im kinda running thin here. anyway you know the timeable on when i will recieve my benefits? been masturbating multiple times a day since i was 13 now 27, will it take longer than 90 days? i also had female friends tried to approach for me at a nightclub but mostly at stores and none of it worked. and its weird because you would think i would be already desensitized which would bring me to do it myself but i was still too scared and never made a single approach by myself besides these 2 rare occasions in the past. so it has to be fapping thats the cause here. cause i dont see what else is causing it, certainly no doctor or therapist could figure out besides prescribing me to medication which never worked and just gave me bad side effects.
 
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TheCarver said:
thing is i dont like bars or nightclub settings because i dont even drink. so im kinda running thin here. anyway you know the timeable on when i will recieve my benefits? been masturbating multiple times a day since i was 13 now 27, will it take longer than 90 days? i also had female friends tried to approach for me at a nightclub but mostly at stores and none of it worked. and its weird because you would think i would be already desensitized which would bring me to do it myself but i was still too scared and never made a single approach by myself besides these 2 rare occasions in the past. so it has to be fapping thats the cause here. cause i dont see what else is causing it, certainly no doctor or therapist could figure out besides prescribing me to medication which never worked and just gave me bad side effects.
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Social anxiety, and anxiety in general, tends to decrease when confronted. Competent psychologists often speak of 'progressive exposure to stressful situations' so that your brain gradually realizes there is no danger. Any habit or avoidance strategy only reinforces your anxiety and associated beliefs. Your anxiety speaks to you (but it's not you).

You mention approaching women, but given your mental state, are you sure that pursuing relationships is a good idea? Do you feel capable of going on a date with a woman, believing that everything will go well and that both of you will have a good time? When we talk about progressive exposure, the word 'progressive' is crucial. Do you have friends? A family? A job? Are you engaged in activities such as sports, music, dance, theater, or any other activity that would allow you to genuinely meet and connect with people? If your anxiety is so strong that you cannot do this, are you taking care of yourself every day to reduce symptoms (exercise, proper nutrition, breaking free from addictions)?

Not everything is related to masturbation or pornography. I would even say that nothing is related to that, without disrespecting this forum.
 
Spirituss said:
Social anxiety, and anxiety in general, tends to decrease when confronted. Competent psychologists often speak of 'progressive exposure to stressful situations' so that your brain gradually realizes there is no danger. Any habit or avoidance strategy only reinforces your anxiety and associated beliefs. Your anxiety speaks to you (but it's not you).

You mention approaching women, but given your mental state, are you sure that pursuing relationships is a good idea? Do you feel capable of going on a date with a woman, believing that everything will go well and that both of you will have a good time? When we talk about progressive exposure, the word 'progressive' is crucial. Do you have friends? A family? A job? Are you engaged in activities such as sports, music, dance, theater, or any other activity that would allow you to genuinely meet and connect with people? If your anxiety is so strong that you cannot do this, are you taking care of yourself every day to reduce symptoms (exercise, proper nutrition, breaking free from addictions)?

Not everything is related to masturbation or pornography. I would even say that nothing is related to that, without disrespecting this forum.
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yes to all 3, except i only have 1 friend that i can barely hangout with due to some circumstances. involved in anything? no not really. i thought once i started college this semester that would have chances of meeting people and was excited about it, then i actually went and i was like “what in the actual fuck is this, this is what college is supposed to be?” granted this is my first time at a university so my expectations were high. the people here are all so disconnected from everything, nobody talks/ interacts, especially no girls ever talk to me. if i try to engage with some girl its just going to be short and sweet, next day no “hey so nice talking to you yesterday, how about that homework eh?”

none of that. everyone just keeps to themselves. but besides all that yeah i think nofap is giving me more motivation to exercise and i notice everytime i relapse, its never on a consistent basis and i get lazy. nutrition? i dont eat 100 percent clean, but i think my increased anxiety might be from my caffeine intake from soda or i am still in the flatline cause there was only 1 day where i was kinda feeling good and a little bit confident but today is different and i dont feel that great. maybe its just my brain trying to reboot, and i should feel better by like 70 days.
 
TheCarver said:
none of that. everyone just keeps to themselves.
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It's quite normal. Everyone thinks of themselves first. It's not a lack of respect. You take it as indifference, but it's not haughty indifference. It's simply a healthy way to view relationships. People won't be interested in you if you don't give them a reason to be. Unlike women who get attention simply because they are born female (I wouldn't want to be in their shoes, it must be hard to live with).

In brief, you have to give if you want to receive. And give without expecting anything in return, which is the opposite of what your anxiety tells you (I'm not good enough, I'm going to be rejected, no one is interested in me).
You say you talk to girls, but again, is it the right time? How was your homework someone I don't know who asks me this question I have no reason to give them personal information about myself.
Beyond that, women are very good at sensing interest behind an apparently innocent phrase like "how was your day". He doesn't care about how my day was or who I am, he just feels lonely and unhappy deep down.

Finally, if you think that nofap will solve your anxiety issues that you've probably had for years, you're mistaken. No magic solution and certainly not something as silly as stopping masturbation can solve buried traumas and a lack of self-love, and certainly not in 70 days. Only persistence and a insane desire to get out of it and make every effort to take care of oneself, love others, love oneself can do it. And it takes years. Not 70 days!
As for your school, I'm like you, I don't really have close friends in my school, but I do sports, I go out a lot to bars, I'm enrolled in theater classes so I have a lot of friends. Real friends. And believe me, getting out of anxiety alone works up to a certain point. Then you need friends who remind you that you can accept yourself and be 100% yourself. The myth of going through life alone is sad and devoid of truth. That doesn't exist. The truth is you need others. And the only way is gradual exposure.

I remember 3 years ago just going out of my house in the city around a lot of people without talking to anyone because the anxiety was gnawing at me from the inside at the mere presence of people around me. A few months later I took my first singing lesson. Today I still have anxiety but it no longer negatively affects my life and my self-esteem. Progress is possible.
 
certainly works for everybody else. but im gonna go on a hunch and say you don’t practice it yourself. your username is familiar aswell as this other user that goes by sleeperhead, you and him both are indifferent to everything.
 
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TheCarver said:
certainly works for everybody else. but im gonna go on a hunch and say you don’t practice it yourself. your username is familiar aswell as this other user that goes by sleeperhead, you and him both are indifferent to everything.
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no, I'm just telling the truth, which can help a lot of people for sure. Not everyone is ready to hear it though.
 
Cheers to a new year!

This thread is now a bit more than 3 years old...

Numerous approaches have been documented within these 40 pages. Not just of myself, but of many men who have taken their shot at this challenge, each leaving their mark before moving on.

Before I will give some recent updates, let me first circle back to my last post from October, when I was still in Montenegro. I remember I wrote it in the morning of the day I had my flight. I actually had a date with a girl in the afternoon. I also recall I did 3 approaches that day, leading to a final tally of 97 approaches for that trip.

I wasn’t very active in the game during November/December, I was pretty busy with work. I went to Brussels twice for some daygame in that period.

For the holiday season I came back in Belgium and I went to Brussels to approach. I have already had 1 date and 1 i-date in 2024, both with single moms. The first was on Monday, a divorced Lebanese woman of 38 who has 2 kids. I approached her last week and she seemed really keen in the way she texted. I took her to the bar I usually go for dates. She’s of course not in her 20’s anymore, but has a youthful and attractive face. I was a bit hungover/tired from New Year’s eve [after a 6 month hiatus from alcohol, I drank again during the holiday season, that’s another topic] but I enjoyed it nonetheless. She told me she only had sex with her previous husband, she’s very traditional. I respect that.

I tried to kiss her but she didn’t want to. She did seem to like me as when I touched her hand, she was reciprocating and touching it back. A lot of times I would just make eye contact with her until she breaks it.

Tuesday evening I went out again and approached a Colombian MILF of 41. She was very chatty, so I bounced her for an instant date. We go to the same bar I went on Monday [a very seductive place: dark, candles, couches, des chansons françaises]. We take a beer and she wants to pay.

We talk in French, as she doesn’t speak English. Sometimes it’s pretty hard to understand her, as she has a strong Spanish accent, and on certain occasions, it just sounded like she was speaking Spanish to me.

Probably against best practices [given that it’s an i-date and that I’m pretty much skipping the comfort-building phase], I put my hand on the side of her hip, but she doesn’t mind. When I didn’t touch her, she started touching me by holding my wrist, touching my arms, or putting her hand on my knees when talking.

Overall, she’s doing pretty much all of the talking. I sexualize the conversation by asking her if it’s true that sexuality is important in Latin America. She says yes. She rejected my kiss attempts in the bar. At a certain point her son called her. Although she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, I suggest to go.

We walk a bit and I say her goodbye, whilst taking her digits. She thanks me for the evening. In the end, we have a short kiss on the mouth [not really making out]. I’m currently texting with her and she seems pretty keen, calling me “guapo” etc.
 
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StoicContemplation said:
Tuesday evening I went out again and approached a Colombian MILF of 41. She was very chatty, so I bounced her for an instant date. We go to the same bar I went on Monday [a very seductive place: dark, candles, couches, des chansons françaises]. We take a beer and she wants to pay.

We talk in French, as she doesn’t speak English. Sometimes it’s pretty hard to understand her, as she has a strong Spanish accent, and on certain occasions, it just sounded like she was speaking Spanish to me.

Probably against best practices [given that it’s an i-date and that I’m pretty much skipping the comfort-building phase], I put my hand on the side of her hip, but she doesn’t mind. When I didn’t touch her, she started touching me by holding my wrist, touching my arms, or putting her hand on my knees when talking.

Overall, she’s doing pretty much all of the talking. I sexualize the conversation by asking her if it’s true that sexuality is important in Latin America. She says yes. She rejected my kiss attempts in the bar. At a certain point her son called her. Although she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, I suggest to go.

We walk a bit and I say her goodbye, whilst taking her digits. She thanks me for the evening. In the end, we have a short kiss on the mouth [not really making out]. I’m currently texting with her and she seems pretty keen, calling me “guapo” etc.
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Sounds amazing! She touching you that much from her own is always a good sign.
 
Been doing a few cheeky sets to start the year mainly from a MH perspective. I should mention I live in Warsaw now and I might do another '100 sets' more to document life in this city than from a dating angle and use it for a bit of reflection on this quite dystopian (in many ways) city. It has become something of a daygame mecca and yet I find it both literally and figuratively cold and depressing. I just live here for work and because I don't want to be in the UK.

Been snipering my sets more in general. Not stopping crazy out of my league girls or doing sets that have a lot of spotlight effect but trying to find the right calm moments to do sets..

Did a coffee shop set on Friday night. These days in coffee shops I try to sit next to the person and either wait for them to leave or decide it's time for me to leave and then do an (indirect) opener. Getting the number wasn't too hard. She was an introvert bookish girl. Quite hot and young student Turkish but also seemed a bit retarded saying she was a romantic and liked spending lots of time alone and weirdly oversharing she used to write about her ex bf.

Then tonight I was out to watch a movie alone and I wanted to get one in so I opened someone who seemed about in my SMV on her way out of the mall. I started with a fashion statement I like your hat the colours look white a good match for this snow bla bla bla opener and then moved into normal chit chit. My new style of approaching is trying to be normal as possible and not flashy or creative stuff comparing girls to being half a giraffe half a Russian spy or whatever the hell the classic PUA's did simply because pouring creative energy into improv comedy sets on the streets is too much for me right now. She mentioned being Ukranian and having lived in Portugal and Germany while also being on her way to a bachata lesson.

I don't expect much from these sets. Typical city girls really. Doing their city girl stuff studying and taking lessons and living busy hectic lives. I'm a bit turned off by this 'modern' way of life if I'm honest. This was just 'geting out of my head' practice for myself

Sets: 2
Numbers: 2

I would also like to add that I jerked off 3 times today and my sexual masturbatory impulses have been stupid in recent days. I look back fondly to when I started this challenge and I want to hopefully use this journal here as a way of holding myself accountable on a nofap streak as well. Wish me luck!
 
Kowe said:
Been doing a few cheeky sets to start the year mainly from a MH perspective. I should mention I live in Warsaw now and I might do another '100 sets' more to document life in this city than from a dating angle and use it for a bit of reflection on this quite dystopian (in many ways) city. It has become something of a daygame mecca and yet I find it both literally and figuratively cold and depressing. I just live here for work and because I don't want to be in the UK.

Been snipering my sets more in general. Not stopping crazy out of my league girls or doing sets that have a lot of spotlight effect but trying to find the right calm moments to do sets..

Did a coffee shop set on Friday night. These days in coffee shops I try to sit next to the person and either wait for them to leave or decide it's time for me to leave and then do an (indirect) opener. Getting the number wasn't too hard. She was an introvert bookish girl. Quite hot and young student Turkish but also seemed a bit retarded saying she was a romantic and liked spending lots of time alone and weirdly oversharing she used to write about her ex bf.

Then tonight I was out to watch a movie alone and I wanted to get one in so I opened someone who seemed about in my SMV on her way out of the mall. I started with a fashion statement I like your hat the colours look white a good match for this snow bla bla bla opener and then moved into normal chit chit. My new style of approaching is trying to be normal as possible and not flashy or creative stuff comparing girls to being half a giraffe half a Russian spy or whatever the hell the classic PUA's did simply because pouring creative energy into improv comedy sets on the streets is too much for me right now. She mentioned being Ukranian and having lived in Portugal and Germany while also being on her way to a bachata lesson.

I don't expect much from these sets. Typical city girls really. Doing their city girl stuff studying and taking lessons and living busy hectic lives. I'm a bit turned off by this 'modern' way of life if I'm honest. This was just 'geting out of my head' practice for myself

Sets: 2
Numbers: 2

I would also like to add that I jerked off 3 times today and my sexual masturbatory impulses have been stupid in recent days. I look back fondly to when I started this challenge and I want to hopefully use this journal here as a way of holding myself accountable on a nofap streak as well. Wish me luck!
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Sounds like 2 good approaches; great to have you back in the scene!
 
Did one other set today ...it didn't go well. In the mall.

Approaches 3
Numbers 2

The mall is full of shoppers they don't really want to be stopped and probably have been many times.

It was -18 outside today though so doing it in the freezing cold seemed kinda off...BUT it would have been better I think than the soulless vacuous people in the mall.

How many sets have I done in Warsaw? Probably hundreds. It's like in the UK where I ratcheted up around 800 sets with barely a date. It's just weird but some environments really don't work for us based on how we look or carry ourselves.

I think as a man it's like being a boxer and you need to find your weight class to fight in. If you go in the ring with someone twice your size you'll get destroyed. I just think these women here...they don't see the value in me and I don't get the time of day due to not looking exotic or ...and let's be honest...much of anything else. I know deep down I have a lot of value but presenting that within minutes on the street is very difficult.

And to be honest it's not necessarily advisable if the goal is sex.

Honestly if the goal is sex I'd probably suggest trying to get some friends and find a local bar that attracts a lot of young people.

It's kind of retarded prowling around the mall...

Luckily now I am doing this more for self-reflection and personal development purposes.
 
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