100 Cold Approaches

yeah been masturbating since i was 13 now 28 multiple times a day if that helps. i only started watching porn in my 20s, either way, i was never really addicted to it.

you said bypasses my anxiety? i feel like i have more anxiety now not sure when it ever leaves. i probably should get off all caffeine though, its tough.

now this is giving me some more hope since you said 180 days. i only made it to 126 last year and i was constantly edging on and off so it probably never even counted and i was just on day 0 everyday and didn’t experience no benefits besides maybe i was getting more looks by women but that’s it.

im scared of relapsing this time cause my last streak of like 62 days my brain tricked me into taking a bath and then i started pre-cuming by stretching my penis because i was so horny (so my mind didn’t count it as edging) then one thing after another i went full blown.

i just made it to day 30 today.

You should probably get to the bottom of what makes you edge in the first place. Edging is arguably as bad as actually relapsing. There are some articles about it on yourbrainonporn.com . Some of us are traumatized and use PMO as some sort of reality escape like others indulge in gaming, drugs etc. A dysfunctional social life is the problem. PMO is just the symptom. Work on fixing the underlying problems. Do your best with Nofap as well. The first rule to success is "dont relapse". Easier said than done maybe but every time you turn down the urge, your ability to resist grows stronger. Addiction bypasses the rational part of the brain and goes straight into "fuck it" mode. You need strict rules.

As far as anxiety goes I would say yes to laying off caffeine and especially energy drinks. Energy drinks fires up your nervous system in ways normal coffee just cant do. But if you are really sensitive, lay off all stimulants. Anxiety isnt all bad though. It is there to protect you against all kinds of threats, even emotional. But approaching girls is rarely dangerous. It used to be. Its probably the reason why approach anxiety seems to be in our DNA.
 
Day 4

I just reset my counter after almost a week clean. My number 1 priority is to stay clean. I really believe it will make approaching easier long term. I was super tired today and wanted to go to sleep at 3 pm. After PMOing, that tiredness diminished somewhat. I still had to force myself out of bed and get going.

Same routine today: Coffee, meditated, walked to the gym. Popped a can of energy drink in the gym lobby since I was so damn tired. PMOing does something with my ability to keep eye contact. Yesterday I was feeling quite confident and didnt feel ashamed looking at women. Today I was afraid they would see it on me. The effect wasnt huge but noticeable. I am sure I gave off different vibes post PMO than before it. Lying down on my bed in the middle of the day with urges is simply not the move. I have to stop doing that and head outside. It was really though today. I have just started the ketogenic diet again after a two days break because of a birthday in the family. I suspect some combination of the keto flu, general fatigue because of walking over 10K steps for 6 days in a row and PMO withdrawals.

Anyways, I talked to one dude in the gym. Two actually if I count the one sentence "do you use this?" to the first guy. The second one was a relatively short 1-2 minutes conversation with one of the regulars. Rogh transcript: "Do you work out daily?" Him: I try to. "Did you hurt your arm?" Him: Yes, I had cancer. It ruined my joint. "Damn. Good thing it was your left arm". Maybe I offended him, I dunno. My left arm is ruined as well so I can relate. I hate it when people start digging and I also didnt want to hear his story right off the bat so I told him "see you around". I dont count conversations with dudes towards the challenge but all conversations no matter who it is, is much needed practice right now.

I met a friend at the store. I didnt recognize her. I wasnt sure if I was going to do the cold approach challenge today but thanks to her I woke up and decided to do it today as well. I didt do it for a few days because I was in a different town with family. Two days without doing a new habit so early on can pretty much break my good momentum. I got home and took my cold shower. It was difficult today. I really didnt want to but it wasnt as bad as expected. By the time I took the bus it was already 7.30 pm. I strolled around the shopping mall again and ended up buying "meditations by Marcus Aurelius". I talked a tiny bit with the cute receptionist. Something in her voice made me suspect she was attracted to me but I was full of brain fog and anxiety and didnt make anything of it. I cant count it either. It was too short and I didnt communicate any intent. Same thing happened right after at the grocery store. I fucked up my "do it yourself cashier" and triggered an alarm. Pretty girl showed up to undo my mess and she was nice. Only thing I did was reply with "thanks".

Back home I am going to read a few pages and call it a night.

I am not putting a lot of pressure on myself now in the beginning. The most important thing is that I show up. Every day unless I have a good excuse.
 
Day 5

Same routine today. I took the bus quite late again. I feel a little stressed when I get to the mall this late. I will try to switch up my routine a little. I saw two pretty women petting my cat on my way home from the gym. I walked past them and said "hi". My hi was weak and I wont count that at all. At the mall I saw a girl I recognized. At first I thought she was a celeberty but realized it was someone I have tried to pick up before. I have offended her beyond repair I think so I didnt even look at her. Other than that I wasnt in the mindset today. I was at the mall for around 30 minutes and made zero approaches. It was quite empty there today. Maybe I should try a different city or a different place. I dont remember seeing anyone I wanted to approach today. Maybe I should make that a goal next time to at least take a mental notice of the women I would like to talk to.
 
Day 6

I made one approach today, 2 in total. I had no real intention of picking her up, I was missing my train and saw she turned around and went back so I asked her if she missed it, twice. She ignored me hard, seemed bothered even and went away.

I went out for beers with a friend today. She is a long time friend from back in High School. She asked me if I was dating and suggested I try a recurring speed dating event in the city which seemed like quite a good idea actually. We hanged out for around 4 hours. Cant count her as an approach though. She is a friend. A good friend. She cares about my well being and is always proactive with ideas on how to find me a girl.
 
Day 7

I didnt cold approach anyone today. I said "hi" to one person and she replied. I met up with a friend today and walked a little. She asked me if I wanted to make out. We were in public. Told her "not here, not now". She is a pretty girl but completely crazy. She told me she can do whatever she wants and blame it on the voices. I dont even know if a schizphrenic person would be in a state where it can be considered consent. She is obviously hitting on me but if I want anything to happen, I need to bring her somewhere less public.
 
Day 8

I went to the mall again today and didnt really see a lot of women I found attractive but at the buss stop on my way back, there was many. I am going to try a different venue tomorrow. Time of day also seems to be important. Everyone goes there from around 6 pm. I had little success. I felt like I was being a creep walking around and looking at women. There was this pretty girl selling ice cream. I wasnt even going to buy ice cream but strolled past and considered some ice cream.

I needed a wok pan so I went into the store and made todays only approach, 3 in total. Talked to her about needing a cheap pan and asked for recommendations.

The goal for today was to approach 4 pretty girls. I sort of did it but I would call them interactions rather than cold approaches. The cashier at the super market, the girl in the pan store, some girls at the bus stop. The girls at the bus stop approached me and sat down right next to me.

All in all, I need better plans. Its starting to feel less unnatural to walk around in malls. I avoid some stores but I want to make it a goal to visit all of them. Even the girly stores.
 
I am going to approach 100 girls in the coming period. I'm not going to put a 'deadline' on it, but I'm going to do it on a consistent basis. I have a lot of time now and live in a Central-European city as an exchange student. There are COVID-rules here but there are still plenty of people on the street, so the opportunity is there.

I have approached before, but never on a consistent basis or in an intense way so that I can call myself an expert on it. This thread is meant to hold myself accountable and to share my experiences. Maybe I can inspire other guys to do the same. Maybe I can provide information that can be useful.

Two rules that I'm going to take into consideration:

1. I don't necessarily have to get to the point of asking her number. During the day, I prefer indirect game which means opening up with a girl without directly showing your intentions (e.g. "excuse me, where can I find XYZ?") and subsequently trying to guide the chat towards a more personal conversation where you can build comfort. Sometimes I feel that the girl is not very open for a chat so I won't bother asking her number (or maybe I don't like her eventually). I will be easy on myself and qualify these 'formal' approaches as an approach. After all, these are approaches too where you have to overcome fear.

2. If I approach a group of girls, then that is qualified as 1 approach. I will mostly go for girls that are alone but sometimes, if I feel that the moment is right, I will approach for example 2 girls that are together.

The goal here is to learn. Approaching a girl you don't know is one of the hardest things a man can do. It comes with dreadful fear and men will make 101 excuses not to do it. Forget about the intimacy you can get for a moment: you can learn a lot by approaching girls. In essence, it requires being a good conversationalist. If you want to learn how to swim but you first want to know everything about swimming before jumping into the water, well then that's a problem. Getting good with girls (and increasing conversational skills and the like) can only be done with practice.

Other guys are free to embark this challenge or ask questions.
Really appreciable effort you are going to make since, you are going to do some remarkable thing It's a matter of huge courage when you decide to take such steps and its a kind of good learning when you start with doing this thing because you genuinely do not bother about the rejection which will come to you at some point. Really great effort bplease keep updating your experience and learning it will be a great learning for us.
 
4/100

Finally got a Nofap streak going for the first time in a while. Day 9 of cold approaching. I intentionally went to two cafes in my town today. I have had some anxiety just checking them out. When I got there, both were completely empty. I live close to a University and its summer vacation so the town is basically dead. I went to the gym. A few women there. I havent even said hi to any of them even though I am a regular and spend hours in there every week.

I saw a really hot woman at one of the stores I was at. I wanted to talk to her. I felt an urge to talk to her even but I didnt. She was standing with her back turned away from me, looking at some groceries. It wouldnt have been the easiest approach. I then took the bus to the mall again. I made one approach. The cashier at a store was talking to what I assumed was her friend. I went into the store. It was a nut store and I like nuts so I went looking for some pistachios. I said "Hi" and the cashier replied "Hi, need any help?" I told her "No, just looking". The whole thing was super awkward from there. I was standing there thinking really hard about what package of pistachios to pick. They had an awful lot of options. Meanwhile the two girls was talking non stop. I didnt hear a thing. To me, anything more than one person talking becomes a buzzing sound in the background. I still felt like I was eaves dropping. The thing I said when I went to pay was "interesting". The way I said it sounded extremely rude and I scared off one of the girls right away. The cashier had to stay obviously. I attempted some small talk. "These seem cheaper than the ones at the store". "yea, better quality too". "Okay, I have faith in these. Bye".

I have tried the mall for multiple days now and maybe I need a couple more days to be completely sure but this mall seems pretty dead. I was going there today because I needed an haircut but I got lost and didnt find it. I know about a cafe I am going to check out tomorrow. It is usually buzzing but I dont know how it is during summer. It is close to my gym. It is a park close by too and that might be a spot to check out. Then I am probably taking the bus to a different city near the sea. if its sunny tomorrow, then people are likely at the beach.

This shit isnt easy and I wish I was better already. My agoraphobia is less of an issue now but I am asbolutely retarded whenever I attempt a cold approach. I havent thought of any openers at all yet. I am just blurting out the first thing on my mind. It is usually the absolute worst thing I could possibly say for some reason. Like I am thinking "dont say this... Damn I said it". For now I need to just approach. Just put myself in front of a woman and blurt out "ooogabooogah?" or whatever.
 
Day 10

I didnt make any approaches today. I went to the cafe I talked about yesterday but by the time I got there it was closed. I went to the gym and followed trough on my usual routine. I am starting to enjoy my 4 degree cold showers. I feel somewhat like a creep at the gym. I am restricting myself from looking at girls in the gym. Looking them in the eyes even. Subconciously. I probably shouldnt stare but I dont think being ashamed of myself for being attracted is the solution here.

The weather was horrible today. Raining sideways. Thats the reason I didnt go to the beach. I went to a couple stores and looked around but didnt really encounter any women at all. I could have checked out a few more cafes but I need to do that before hitting the gym. I reached out to a girl friend and asked to hang out tomorrow. I am leaving town for a week on Friday so it will be a lot more difficult to stick to my routines. Going to an island in the middle of nowhere. There are some people there and they are nice but probably not a ton of hot women there. Not too different from where I live actually.
 
Day 10

I didnt make any approaches today. I went to the cafe I talked about yesterday but by the time I got there it was closed. I went to the gym and followed trough on my usual routine. I am starting to enjoy my 4 degree cold showers. I feel somewhat like a creep at the gym. I am restricting myself from looking at girls in the gym. Looking them in the eyes even. Subconciously. I probably shouldnt stare but I dont think being ashamed of myself for being attracted is the solution here.

The weather was horrible today. Raining sideways. Thats the reason I didnt go to the beach. I went to a couple stores and looked around but didnt really encounter any women at all. I could have checked out a few more cafes but I need to do that before hitting the gym. I reached out to a girl friend and asked to hang out tomorrow. I am leaving town for a week on Friday so it will be a lot more difficult to stick to my routines. Going to an island in the middle of nowhere. There are some people there and they are nice but probably not a ton of hot women there. Not too different from where I live actually.
Hello brother. Its inspiring to see you fighting through all these obstacles. It seems like you are struggling but are really motivated to get better.

You should try going on a forum where other guys are also cold approaching. I recommend the Skilled Seducer Forum on Girlschase. You would get help, guidance, encouragement and ideas on this journey of getting better with women.
 
Back from my vacation. I am on day 16 of Nofap already. Nofap really helps. I havent had any encounters I would count as cold approaches but I have interacted with a few women on my trip. One attractive cashier in a grocery store smiled at me and I could tell she was attracted. I am so blind when I PMO. Now I see the signs more easily which will help me with approaching. I think I will start approaching again today already.
 
5/100

I went to the gym today and cold showered. Trying to get back into my routines after my one week hiatus. Its the first day and I am doing reasonably well. Room for improvement of course in regards to my routines but I ticked off most of the stuff. There was basically no one at the gym today. Uni has summer vacation and it seems like everyone left town.

I went to the super market and saw at least three beautiful women working there. I even saw one chump attempting an approach with the girl at the flower shop. His approach was terrible but creds to him for trying. The cashier was the prettiest one and people seemed intimidated by her. Nofap made me feel fairly confident. She was looking down when I went to pay for my stuff. She seemed shy. I went back home and eventually realized I needed another trip today to hit my 10K step goal. I decided to go back to the super market and hopefully get an interaction or two. It was 5 hours or so later and the same girl was still working. I walked straight up to her and asked her when the store closed. She told me 11 pm. I replied "ok, I have a lot of time then". I bought myself a can of soda and walked trough the store. She was sitting at the counter. She looked at me and smiled. The distance I had to walk felt a little long and awkward but at least I think I appeared confident. When I stood in front of her she said "hi" and smiled again. I decided to pay cash and putting coins on that coin teller thing feels somewhat drawn out and awkward nowadays. I didnt wait long enough for her to ask me if I wanted the receit. Maybe I exited a little early. Nothing would have come out of it anyways but a sentence or two more would have made it a better interaction. I am fairly confident she is attracted to me but I have no idea how to procceed. Its a small town. Maybe I will see her around.

The stage I am at right now is to have simple chats with cashiers etc. I am brainstorming as few lines to be prepared to open a girl or two at the gym. I am also going to travel around to citys close by and stroll around. My small town is a little too small to find enough people. I went past two cafes today and both were almost empty. Not ideal venues.
 
I met up with a friend today and flirted a little with her. She have been hitting on me the last few times so I gave it a shot. Problem is that she seems to have very low sexual confidence and I also suspect she has put me in the potential boyfriend zone. She was hesitant and talked a bit about how she was looking for a boyfriend. If thats the case, I dont want to pursue it.

I walked around a little after I met up with her and looked for people to cold approach. It was getting too late to take the bus anywhere. The cafes were already closed. Saw the same pretty girl at the counter at the super market but the line to her was much longer than the other line. I decided to go with the other cashier. No success in the other store neither so I hit the gym even though I didnt plan on it today. Saw two pretty girls there. Walked past one of them but she was deeply focused on her phone so I didnt approach. I am looking for easy approaches. That wasnt it.

This town is too damn dead. I need to look elsewhere.

The girl I hanged out with today forgot something so she will be visiting tomorrow to pick it up. I might invite her in for coffee while she is here.

It is my 17th day of Nofap and urges have been crazy for the last two days. I walked 23,000 steps today to avoid feeling them so much. I PMed several girls and asked to hang out. One of them replied really fast and sent me a dozen messages asking about how my vacation was and how much a whale weights and a bunch of random stuff. I entertained the conversation a little but I want to talk with her about all this stuff in person rather than over text. She told me she was available in August.
 
6/100

I went to the nearest town with a beach and I didnt regret! I had no idea what bus to take and really contemplated asking someone about advice. On the first bus, I locked eyes with two attractive girls who were obviously heading for the beach. They sat right next to me even though the bus was empty. I was going to ask them for directions. That looked like they wanted me to say something. But a few minutes passed and I thought to myself "I waited too long, now its going to get awkward if I say anything". As a result I saw them cross the road with no clue that the bus they were taking was the bus I was supposed to take. That cost me 30 minutes of waiting.

When I arrived at the place, it was people everywhere. I locked eyes with a bunch but didnt quite find any openings to approach. My agoraphobia was triggered. Too many people. I strolled around and tried to get an idea of the place. I could have asked around and probably should. On the bus on the way home it was full of people. I found basically the only empty seat behind two attractive girls. I probably waited too long to say anything again but at least I did this time. I knew I was on the right bus but I felt like I needed to make up for my previous mistake.

"Do you know how to get to ---- ?" Girl: "No, but if you take the bus 3 stops up, you will find the correct bus". "okay but what is the name of that stop?" Girl: Names the bus stop. Right after she left the bus so I couldnt have asked a second later as she would have been gone. I think what pushed me to ask was when she looked at me over her shoulder as she was about to press the stop button.
 
8/100

Made at least two approaches today. The mall was ten times busier than I have seen it before. I went much earlier than the other times. Doesnt make any sense at all that everyone are at the mall at 2 pm on a Monday. It was rainy today and many people are on summers vacation so that might explain some of it. Two girls checked me out when I went into the grocery store. A hot older woman seemed to give me an approach invitation. She was probably in her 40s but looked good.

I went past the hair saloon and saw a hot girl there. I need a haircut and was planning on somewhere else but she changed my mind. I turned around and approached her. "Do you have anything available today?" Yes we do but only with the apprentices. "ok, I want a good haircut and dont want to take any chances. How about tomorrow?" Yes we can do that! She told me my name. I asked her if I have been there before and she told me "yes, during covid". I found that a little funny and said "right, I remember that". When I left after talking for a few minutes, she seemed almost in a trance. My eye contact was incredibly strong the entire time without any effort. Thats Nofap doing its magic.

I had one more proper approach and several mediocre onces. But what I noticed was the amount of girls checking me out and sending me approach invitations. At the gym, I was going to do squats and I could have picked several racks but the easiest one was right next to a hot girl. She started smiling at me right away and kept sending me subtle signs for my entire session. When I left for the locker room, she left too. Then when I exited the gym, she was heading in the same direction as me and walked past me so that I had to look at her ass all the way home. I was thinking about asking if she was following me as an opener but I couldnt get myself to break the ice. What I realized from this is that girls wont neccessarily consider me a creep if I work out right next to them. Sort of a paradigm shift for me. It is basic body language. I pinged her by standing in her proximity and she gave out signals that she was ready to be approached in return. The next step for me is to actually do something about it. Even if I can get myself to say "hi" that would be a massive step up for me.

I learned something today. Approaching store clerks isnt all that scary after all. Standing close to girls at the gym puts me on their radar. Keeping strong eye contact (really strong, probably several seconds) is a really powerful move. If girls find you attractive, they will let you know somehow. Then you need to approach.
 
Been out and about every day the last week. No approaches I want to count. I did talk to a girl today. Just a simple "you first" and "thanks". Not an approach. It was a spontaneous interaction.
 
I think it's great that you are so consistent on this topic, in the end only action leads to the goal and the belief that love falls from the sky is rubbish.

I was very active in approaching women for a while, sometimes about 10 to 15 at the weekend. Looking back, it was clearly too much. At the moment I'm trying to take things a bit more calmly, I have a cute dog, which I would say helps enormously, sometimes women smile at me (that didn't happen before or only happened rarely).

I had set myself the goal of going on dates with at least 6 women this year, so far I've been on 3.
 
9/100

This was my best cold approach so far. I was reading a book in the gym lobby and a girl struggled to get in. I almost waited too long before I said anything but it went like this: "Are you stuck?" She seemed pretty shocked that I was talking to her but composed herself. "Yea, my membership runs out today, should I call the reception? I think they are closed today". I told her "yes, try calling them but I dont think they will arrest you if you sneak in this one time. Try holding your access key down for a few seconds btw. The scanner is a bit slow". She did that and it worked. She told me "it worked! Thanks". I wasnt hitting on her. I was preparing to sneak her in using my access key but my advice worked so I didnt get to do that. It was pretty indirect. But it was a proper cold approach. Doing this shit is the scariest thing I have ever done but I havent got a negative reaction yet. Neutral at worst.
 
I havent really cold approached anyone since my last entry but I almost got laid yesterday. I got a girl into bed and we watched Netflix and cuddled for hours. It wasnt a cold approach since we are already friends. When I asked her to undress she kind of freaked out and sex never happened. She stayed until dark. I am on day 30 Nofap and it definitively makes everything easier. I have no idea how I pulled it off to get her into bed. It felt natural.

I didnt fap yesterday although it was difficult. Today I basically stared at every woman in my proximity. I didnt feel ashamed. I am super aware today. I can feel my pulse rising and my breathing change when I see a pretty woman. I am also much more attuned to everything around me. The cute cashier at the store seems super into me. The last few times she have been staring down when I look at her. She is shy. Today I noticed her doing a very subtle thing. She turned her neck towards be briefly like she was opening up a little. I would normally be completely oblivious to such a subtle hint. I want to invite her out. It will be a pretty difficult thing to do. I know nothing about her but I assume she is single, otherwise she would be more closed off.

I was cold approached three times today. By dudes. I notice I intensely gaze at everyone today and smile. It is like people feel a compulsion to say "hi". I guess my body language makes me pretty approachable today. I played table tennis with a stranger today, and me being social made a girl sit down right next to me. Turned out the other guy knew her and I had just been staring at her shamelessly for my entire workout.

On my way home, I was stopped by a dude I barely recognized and we had a few minutes chat. Then another dude I only know by face said "hi".

My conclusion is: Do cold approaching and Nofap in tandem. It is like life itself goes into easy mode.
 
I havent really cold approached anyone since my last entry but I almost got laid yesterday. I got a girl into bed and we watched Netflix and cuddled for hours. It wasnt a cold approach since we are already friends. When I asked her to undress she kind of freaked out and sex never happened. She stayed until dark. I am on day 30 Nofap and it definitively makes everything easier. I have no idea how I pulled it off to get her into bed. It felt natural.

I didnt fap yesterday although it was difficult. Today I basically stared at every woman in my proximity. I didnt feel ashamed. I am super aware today. I can feel my pulse rising and my breathing change when I see a pretty woman. I am also much more attuned to everything around me. The cute cashier at the store seems super into me. The last few times she have been staring down when I look at her. She is shy. Today I noticed her doing a very subtle thing. She turned her neck towards be briefly like she was opening up a little. I would normally be completely oblivious to such a subtle hint. I want to invite her out. It will be a pretty difficult thing to do. I know nothing about her but I assume she is single, otherwise she would be more closed off.

I was cold approached three times today. By dudes. I notice I intensely gaze at everyone today and smile. It is like people feel a compulsion to say "hi". I guess my body language makes me pretty approachable today. I played table tennis with a stranger today, and me being social made a girl sit down right next to me. Turned out the other guy knew her and I had just been staring at her shamelessly for my entire workout.

On my way home, I was stopped by a dude I barely recognized and we had a few minutes chat. Then another dude I only know by face said "hi".

My conclusion is: Do cold approaching and Nofap in tandem. It is like life itself goes into easy mode.

did you kiss at all? Or was it just only cuddling?
 
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