100 Days – Only YOU can make the change!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Shuffledude88, Feb 19, 2020.

  1. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Hey guys!
    Today marks day 100 on my streak without PMO in any form. I wanted to share what has led me here and how my philosophy works. Lean back, this is quite a long read. I hope it can help you breaking free of this addiction! :)

    I have my full story here in my journal, but to make a long story short – I have been addicted to porn since I was 10 (or possibly younger). Today I'm 25. In my late teens I discovered that this could be a bad thing, and since then I have actively tried to quit it, or at least knowing all the bad effects. This has led to several depressions, where I feel that I constantly fail myself, just giving up for every urge or temptation. This wrecked my confidence and has led to several life choices which probably wouldn't happened without PM in my life. When I was 22-23 I held up for the first time for over a year, in what was the best period in my life. Then I fell back, and since then I've had some minor streaks, but nothing serious. What has failed me especially is my own commitment mentally, to really want to end this, no matter the cost.

    Last autumn I got a wake up call in a way. I'm on my last year of university, soon I will enter the "real world" again, and for me to succeed I need to be my true self. I need to unlock my potential. And I have always known that porn tears me apart from it, putting me down to a lower standard. If you reject your ambitions both ideally and practically constantly, allowing porn in your life, that's what happens. In the end you lack willpower or passion for anything in your life. I felt like a shell, and my days were gray. My interests didn't fulfill me anymore, I didn't care about people, barely my own family. I lacked empathy. I couldn't view more then one day ahead. I had zero ambitions. Nothing.

    Then I took one last stand, knowing that this truly have to end. I found the right motivation. The balance between the seriousness in what would happen if i didn't, and the pure motivation of winning my life back. So I started. And haven't looked back ever since. There has been trials off course, I have struggled from time to time. But no matter how tough it was, I never gave in. One day I took three cold showers in the matter of 30 minutes. And guess what, I didn't relapse. I have removed Twitter and Instagram, knowing that using them when I'm weak will trigger bad thought patterns. Eliminating that problem has helped me tremendously.

    The main thing here is that YOU are the answer. Not this forum, not your AP, not your parents, not your counselor – it's all about YOU. You steer your "ship". You make the decisions. Bad situations will happen, you will be tempted, you will struggle – but what do you do then? Your AP can't just take it away, your progress tracker won't. Even though all this can help, you ultimately makes the decision. This is the naked truth, that NO, ZERO, NADA temptation is too BIG for you not to handle. There is ALWAYS a way. There are NO excuses. You are not programmed from being addicted to not be able to handle this. There is always a decision between YES or NO. That might seem harsh, but it really is black and white. If you wanna break free. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and giving in for every temptation, no matter if it's on day 2 or day 200. OWN your progress!

    This has helped me on this run after years of failure. I have found the TRUE COMMITMENT which works for me, in my situation. You need to find that inside of you. I'm thinking of the man I want to be, the man I know that I truly am. That porn session is worth NOTHING compared to all this, all these things which has happened in just these 100 days, and the things which will come. Nofap won't give you super powers, but it will unlock yourself. You will get the courage to face your own fears, you will break borders, you will unlock your emotional register, you will dream again.

    There is ALWAYS a way. I hope you understand that. So, step ONE is to find your inner drive. To channel your inner want to end this and be human. I can't stretch that enough. You must accept your addiction, and then make NO exceptions, no excuses. To just keep up the fight.

    Step two. Know your limitations. Social media, websites – whatever. Act on them! I removed several apps on my phone, just that small change has ELIMINATED several gateways which could lead to relapse. It has also made me feel better overall, not constantly browsing random content, instead of living my life or doing something valuable.

    Step three. Get accountability. I have a awesome imessage-group for example filled with great people on this journey. They are ALWAYS there for me. Get a accountability group, or partner, which you can rely on. I have had several in the past. Great people, but some people just don't answer or is there at all times. Also, reach out to people IRL. It could be your parents, friends or whatever. The first step there is tough, but it's SUPER REWARDING. Opening up like that and seeing your struggles as an addiction is actually helpful. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Almost everyone have something they struggle with. We need to carry each others burdens.

    Step four. Self-improvement. In any form. Porn is a bad habit. Like many other things. Doing something positive in your life like getting healthier, trying something new, reading or whatever makes you feel better. Feeling good because you accomplish things. Take new steps. Ending porn will grant you a lot of energy and passion which you can invest in things. I love exercising since a long time, and on this streak I have felt a massive change in interest. I have also revitalized a few hobbies of mine, now enjoying them more then ever.

    That was just some tips I try to live by. The most important thing though is number ONE. You OWN this journey. Not your addiction. You are not in the hands of a unbeatable monster, there is ALWAYS a way out. ALWAYS. You just need to take it, and want it enough. It may sound like a cliché but it's ture. It's not glamorous and it won't be easy. But it's DO-ABLE! If I can do this, YOU CAN!

    I always find it inspiring hearing what concrete perks people have gained on their journey. Here's a few that I have experienced during this.

    – I feel things. I'm a emotional person at heart. But this addiction has drained me it all. Now I cry, laugh, scream – everything. I feel emotions again.

    – More passionate about things. I feel a lot more passionate about the things I love. Like sports, working out, food etc. A concrete change.

    – I dream. Both literally and overall. I dream at night again (and sleep deeper). I also dream about my future and feel ambition overall. I actually long for the future. Before I was just numb and didn't care at all.

    – I'm confident. I'm feeling a lot more confident overall and stand my ground. Before I was a pushover and barely could watch people in the eye. I fel't super shy and didn't want to bother anyone. Now I can take over a room in a whole other way. I also feel a lot more laid back in social situations and feel that I'm a funnier guy overall. I make people laugh more.

    – More fit. This could be a product of my passion for exerise. But it has elevated a lot during this time. It can also be a product of my repaired hormone balance. But yes, I look a whole lot better.

    – Feeling love. I'm single and has been for a long while. It's tough. But what is positive with this journey is that I feel interest for a girl in a whole other way. I have previously been dating people but have never developed true feelings for them. It has been one of the toughest thing for me with the addiction. Lately I have been feeling genuine interest in people, both their personality and their looks.

    – More socially secure. I feel a lot more energized overall. Before everything could feel gray and I had no problem sitting at home for a whole day playing video games. Now I want things to happen, I wan't to socialize more, I'm taking the initiatives on my own. Reaching out to people more etc. I'm having a easier time getting to know people also, and can handle social situations better. Before I was just awkward often.

    I guess there is 1000 more things to add here. But the main thing is that the change is HUGE. I'm almost a new person by this.
    Think to yourself. Is surrendering everyday to porn for a few minutes worth it, when you in the end can be transformed to a better you? It won't solve your life totally. But you will be able to live life unfiltered. The difference is that you face those tough days, that you face loneliess, anger, depression like a real person should. Without getting substitutes to escape the world.

    Stop escaping, start living! Your life is YOURS to take back. No one else can! I believe in you!
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2020
  2. Great thread pal. You are 100% correct on all counts.
     
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  3. Defytheodds

    Defytheodds Fapstronaut

    Much respect sir! i relate to your story so much, I've been in the same situation and recently decided to take my life in hand, it has been 18 days so far, and i can already feel some of the changes you noticed! Keep it up man, porn took us off guard and without even noticing it become like cancer in our lives eaten our souls ! i hope i'll reach 100 days!
     
  4. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Thanks mate! I'm glad it could help. You did the right decision and are on the right track for sure! That's the nice thing with it. A lot of changes happen quite early, and even more will come eventually. Keep it up! :)
     
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  5. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Beautiful post. I'm 15 years old, trying to quit, trying to restore myself. However, I find it difficult in the face of an urge, to "snap out of it." I need to meditate more often on urge divergence, because if not me then who, and if not now, then when?
     
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  6. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Bravo to you!
    I'm recently often reaching the 'Remember the consequences' phase when tempted to have a touch, and your words resonate a lot right now.
    Aside from all the helpful tricks, maybe it is just down to awareness/experience and a simple 'Do, or don't do'.
     
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  7. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing such an inspiring post! All the best!
     
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  8. Ace4321

    Ace4321 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks and may your streak double and triple.
     
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  9. royallegion

    royallegion Fapstronaut

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    Amazing post! Glad I can share this journey with you bud! :)
     
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  10. Thank you for motivating me to get up, stop thinking about MO and take a walk instead.
     
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  11. Congratulations!
    So very true. Totally agree with this.

    :) Good luck for future.
     
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  12. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

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    That's awesome to read. Thanks for sharing! Of all things PMO robs me of, the one that cuts me the deepest is passion. It'll totally rob my passions right out from under me! I run my own business and there's time I'm so passionate and laser focused on growth. Then I'll relapse and spend days hoping customers don't come in because it takes away my time from PMO. Pisses me off
     
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  13. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    I can totally relate. Hold on to that thought, key insights like is great motivation!
     
  14. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Super wise thoughts from you. I'm very impressed about you having these insights already at the age of 15! You are on the right track already! Keep on pushing, and start laying a solid foundation for the rest of your life. :) For me it took far too long. But hey, here I am. All we can change is today and forward!
     
  15. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your reply. Yes, I am very young, however, that just makes it even better! This is my first step to becoming a billionaire, yes a billionaire. That is a great dream of mine. I was so passionate, (and still am), however, PMO sucked the worth ethic out of me. I'll have to improve myself in a thousand different ways, starting today.

    "No amount of regret will change the past, and no amount of worry will change the future."
     
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  16. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Great post I ned it to keep motivated nd focus
    All of us know that we can do it; we just have to find that REASON and AVOID excuses, LEAVE lazyness physique and menthal that don't let us reach our new life.
    Stop escaping, start living; that's a incredible quote, I think that I am going to use it diary.
     
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  17. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Exactly! We need to turn around towards the storm and start Walking through it, no matter what.
     
  18. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Update: Relapsed today. It sucks so bad, despite being on a good number of days, one moment of weakness can ruin it all. Today I failed. I have only myself to blame. And I will get up on the horse again right away. All these days of battle won't be for nothing. I feel bad now though. But I will defeat this behavior!
     
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  19. Don't give in my friend. Remember your period of abstinence. You can defeat the scourge of PMO!
     
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  20. Limit Breaker

    Limit Breaker New Fapstronaut

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    It's my first day on this journey. I just had my last wank/fap and started my fap tracker.
    Your post is truly inspiring.
    I will testify of my progress just as you have in 90 days in the mighty name of Jesus, amen.

    Thanks for sharing. It's truly nice knowing there are others out there suffering like I am and seeking way out too. Thanks guys, God bless you all.
     
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