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105 days no pmo , feeling lonelier than ever!

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Defytheodds, Jan 16, 2021.

  1. Defytheodds

    Defytheodds Fapstronaut

    i was aiming for 90days then relapse , but i decided to go for 365 after all the zero scares me .
    so yes , i did it , the rewire worked , all the benefits are real , i'm stronger , i look bigger , i'm more confident , my voice manlier , and more motived , but with all this the need of a significant other spiked up like never .
    think is , i get looks for girls at the place i'm study at but !
    Positive side : i'm average looking , in shape (ok maybe i need a little belly fat for the abs to show beside its all good), i can be funny, and now more confident, more things appear easily achievable.
    Negative side : i'm 28yo,i'm bald ( i always wear a hat , and i look so old without it) , i don't have an income yet(i'm working on it, ihave big dreams), no place of mine , no car ... basically nothing an adult has.

    So i want realistic advice or point of view , i don't know were to go from here .
     
    OhWhenThe, Lionheart23 and FezMan76 like this.
  2. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    Well I feel like everyone in these younger generations are suffering a lot of your same negatives becuz guvment. Can you grow a beard? Because bald guys with nice beards have a pretty nice aesthetic going on. For sure, you are at least a much more put together man than you ever were before this, for the status and material things don't make the man. Keep working at it brother.
     
    Defytheodds likes this.
  3. Defytheodds

    Defytheodds Fapstronaut

    I do have a full beard , but i realised the bald + beard guy looks come with financial stability you know... i have one know but still.
    its true , i try to read and learn about myself and the world and be open as much as i can , i've seen wealthy people who i despise as humans .
    thank you for your kind message , i hope the best for you to !
     
  4. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! But looking good certainly does not have wealth as a prerequisite. Build your chest, shoulders, and waist, take care of your beard and trim it to what works best for your face, slap a nice fitting crew neck that shows off those hard earned muscles and BOOM. Irresistible. Keep at it my good man
     
  5. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Yo bro, thank you for sharing! Life is never perfect and you seem to have taken some really positive steps in your life thus far. Great going on your streak and commitment to going longer. NoFap is a life journey, just take one day at a time and never let yourself get comfortable again when it comes to PMO. Hopefully you will be able to look back years from now and say I have been free of PMO all this time and it feels great.

    You said you are bald, do you mean completely bald or do you have a bald spot and then hair around the sides and back of your head. If it is the latter then I say give the full bald head a try. The bald patch definitely makes most guys look old. A full ball head normally does not.

    You should continue to focus on yourself at this point. Education, skill sets, exercise, diet, spirituality, finance etc. While this is becoming cliché now it is still very applicable. You need to continue to level up. The average woman will prefer being with a guy that his life is moving in a positive direction.

    Finding and keeping a significant other can be very challenging when you are not in a good place financially etc., so continue to work on all of the above. With that said it is not impossible however, continuing to get your life in order is more important at this stage. If you are putting yourself in social settings and you engage with a female and things work out then good, but do not make a relationship your focus at this stage. Dating usually comes with a financial cost, that is money that is better suited to your self improvement at this stage.

    In general I am saying play the long game as it relates to your own development and the relationship will come. But at the same time, don't look past what may be right there also. You may find that some who values you and can see that you are a work in progress and is happy to join you as you work to improve yourself.

    Best wishes to you brother, Hoping to hear from you.
     
    Defytheodds likes this.
  6. Joaco9324

    Joaco9324 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello man sorry about my english.
    I think is very important that you realize about you life situation. Thats only happend when a real will of change is coming into your life. Because the masturbation its also an escape from reality that whe use to dont feel some things. Its a very good start for change in your life and im sure that if you keep with NoFap you will find the next step to a better way of living.
    I hope that this cheer you up because sometimes we feel like if only doing NoFap you life will change but the only change sometimes is that you feel al the shit you were trying to abvoid with porn and masturbation.
    Well done mate.
    From uruguay
     
    Defytheodds likes this.
  7. Defytheodds

    Defytheodds Fapstronaut

    Hey bro, thank you so much for your reply, i totally agree with you , i really like your advice and i will follow on it , i totally can't date someone right now , like you said it demands financial stability and all , and sometimes i feel the improvement, i get more confident and i feel this energy and the need to interact and connect with someone because honestly, it's been years now i didn't chat with girls like on a romantic level, i used to be funny and cool around girls (they told me so..) , but nothing comes out of it , cause i used to pmo on a daily, and that ruined my brain , motivation and everything, i can say that cause around the 90 days nofap , it was like an awakening, i could feel some long lost emotions again, and rewire my perspective on the world, and pretty much feeling normal again.
    i can say confidently that PMO , corrupts our lives. and i sometimes tell myself , if you did the 90 days challenge just once a long time ago , something would of changed and life would of been different, but anyway, if anything changed back then, i wouldn't realize this now ..(don't glorify the past, it is never how it seems).
    thanks again @Deysonn !
    Ps : ah yes , i'm completely bald , it started when i was 21 y.o (bad luck) , but yead i used to shave it clean , its a pain in the *ss to maintain , so i do it once a week or twice depends , but generaly when its not fully shaved , i wear a cap + beard .
     
  8. Defytheodds

    Defytheodds Fapstronaut

    True , true and true !
    It's totally what happens every time, i encounter a challenge, feel sad or stressed out ! my first thought is FAP!
    The trick is to keep yourself busy, set small daily goals and achieve them , to give your brain the dopamine sparks , which are way better than the pmo ones !
    Thank you for your reply , it helps a lot really , i hope the best for you , and good luck on your journey ! Cheers !
     
  9. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Hey, It is good to hear from you and to see you are still on your journey! Relationships are not your priority right now but you should still engage in social activities that do not conflict with your financial, fitness, spiritual, sexual goals etc. I believe this is an important part of the recovery process, as PMO addicts we often need to get comfortable with social interactions again as PMO can increase introverted tendencies. And like I said, you may meet a woman who aligns with your goals and is willing to join you on your journey. So while you focus on your key goals, do not be oblivious to opportunity either.

    I totally agree, PMO addiction ruins your life and there is no point in looking at the past cause you can not change it. Focus on your future, your goals, your dreams. Continue to work and improve yourself!

    Best wishes bro!
     
  10. AlexRoIs

    AlexRoIs Fapstronaut

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    Adice for the OP. You can join different groups, volunteer maybe, search for a job if you don't have one, or if you have one and also you have some free time you can search for a part time one to raise your income or practice a hobby, maybe look into some programming. There are so many ways to make money, bro, profit from these
     
  11. Lumkalak

    Lumkalak Fapstronaut

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    Western society has changed, and economical wealth or even indenpency aren't something taken for granted anymore. So as far as you are improving your character and trying your best, you shouldn't be ashamed of your presence.

    There is a big number of people who are stuck in the same situation as you are, bigger number than you would believe. Also many wealthy looking lives are built merely upon debt. It's a bubble that will eventually burst.

    This sounds cliche, but it all comes down to LOVE. If your girl is with you 'cause you have nice body, big income and thick hair, where will she be if you'll get a cancer and loose your job? Exactly...

    There are also many women who are stuck in the same kind of blind alley as you are. If you can find someone who would love you and stand by you, share the struggles and all the shit that life very often provides... That's a kind of love to die for. Somebody who shares the best and the worst moments and aspects of your life. Even your boldness and lack of money.

    Not all women are that superficial. Some are true fighters who respect character over achievements and looks.

    You're not perfect, don't suppose your loved ones be either. You are worth loving, dispate your struggles.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2021

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