D
Deleted Account
Guest
I wrote this a couple minutes ago as an answer to an old thread, but I guess it can be its own thread for any of you guys wanting to read about it.
I got into trans porn to the point I don't even know those female pornstars you mentioned, I think Sasha Gray is the only female pornstar I can name (and I've watched like 2 of her videos), while I know plenty of trans pornstars. I was into this for 11 years (since 14), and it's been 99.99% of the porn I've watched for the last 5 years. I even remember the first video I watched, and it's interesting, you'll see why... It was while watching porn on one of those weird TV channels that we had back then which would play porn late in the night, and suddenly an awesome ass appeared being ripped apart, the girl's face looked like an ugly junkie to me, but what an ass, boy... Then the camera moved and it revealed the dick, and I was like: "What the fuck was that?", it turnt me off immediately, but I thought: "so will there be any more men with such feminine bodies and great asses?", I looked into it and I got hooked. I started watching it and avoiding the scenes where the trans' dick could be seen, and here comes the interesting bit: I found that video again 9 to 10 years later, and not only her face turnt me on a lot, but also the bits where her cock was hard were my favorite ones (and she got a big one). So you can see how this shit took me further and further into perversion. Oh, that also can tell you how many videos I watched, to the point I kept finding videos that I already knew from years ago, you can count them by the thousands.
Btw I was deeply in love with a girl back then (at 14), to the point I still dream about her some nights, so it's not like I was gay.
I had my theories about why I liked this, and to some extent I agree with the emasculating other men to reaffirm our manliness, but I don't know, man... I was 14 fucking years old, and I was the most respected guy in high school... Yet I didn't like my looks, so I don't know...
Anyways, I simply forgot about theories, and I focused on who I wanted to be, because we are nothing but the decisions we make. I realized this in the most lame of ways, I was doing pull ups in a public park, and a lil kid and his father passed by, going for a walk, then the kid tried to do a pull up in a very low bar, and by the way the kid and father looked at me I realized that I was "that guy who is exercising in the park", like I could be the guy who is eating Oreos on the sofa, but I was the guy who exercises in the park, and thus I decided to never again betray myself by making bad choices. I decided to quit porn altogether, and to stop masturbating until my dick comes alive again, because I've got plenty of flatlines with girls I made out, to the point I remain a virgin at 25 years old. I really don't care that much about it, because it's not like I didn't have the chances, it's just that my dick didn't work (I was also drunk most of the times), so all I can do now is to fix that.
I tried quitting porn before this realization, and I always failed and came back to it, I also went for straight porn and in the end I would always come back to trans like full energy in, letting out all of the frustration from refraining from watching it. I felt so good and so different while watching it, like it was not even me, and 5 seconds after cuming I would be so disappointed at myself and so disgusted at the thoughts I had while horny, but then 20 minutes later I was considering to go for it again. So that was a fucking unstable state of mind, I recon that's how a drugaddict feels...
Now, it's only day 14, but I haven't felt the urge to watch porn not even for a single day, and I am a 100% sure that I'm not going back to any kind of porn, I know the kind of man I want to be and I know that being so depends only in the decisions I make.
I guess now and then I'll finish one of those morning woods if I don't have a partner for a long time, but no more porn and no more indulging on masturbation.
You can be whoever you want. You can't be the president of your country, but you can be the guy who is working to be so (maybe never making it) or you can be the guy who is on the sofa eating Oreos (surely never making it). And even if you don't make it, you'll still make something out of it, and even if you don't, it's quite something being a working guy with a goal and determination vs being an indulging pig on the sofa. I know what I'd rather be...
You are but a choice, so choose wisely.
I got into trans porn to the point I don't even know those female pornstars you mentioned, I think Sasha Gray is the only female pornstar I can name (and I've watched like 2 of her videos), while I know plenty of trans pornstars. I was into this for 11 years (since 14), and it's been 99.99% of the porn I've watched for the last 5 years. I even remember the first video I watched, and it's interesting, you'll see why... It was while watching porn on one of those weird TV channels that we had back then which would play porn late in the night, and suddenly an awesome ass appeared being ripped apart, the girl's face looked like an ugly junkie to me, but what an ass, boy... Then the camera moved and it revealed the dick, and I was like: "What the fuck was that?", it turnt me off immediately, but I thought: "so will there be any more men with such feminine bodies and great asses?", I looked into it and I got hooked. I started watching it and avoiding the scenes where the trans' dick could be seen, and here comes the interesting bit: I found that video again 9 to 10 years later, and not only her face turnt me on a lot, but also the bits where her cock was hard were my favorite ones (and she got a big one). So you can see how this shit took me further and further into perversion. Oh, that also can tell you how many videos I watched, to the point I kept finding videos that I already knew from years ago, you can count them by the thousands.
Btw I was deeply in love with a girl back then (at 14), to the point I still dream about her some nights, so it's not like I was gay.
I had my theories about why I liked this, and to some extent I agree with the emasculating other men to reaffirm our manliness, but I don't know, man... I was 14 fucking years old, and I was the most respected guy in high school... Yet I didn't like my looks, so I don't know...
Anyways, I simply forgot about theories, and I focused on who I wanted to be, because we are nothing but the decisions we make. I realized this in the most lame of ways, I was doing pull ups in a public park, and a lil kid and his father passed by, going for a walk, then the kid tried to do a pull up in a very low bar, and by the way the kid and father looked at me I realized that I was "that guy who is exercising in the park", like I could be the guy who is eating Oreos on the sofa, but I was the guy who exercises in the park, and thus I decided to never again betray myself by making bad choices. I decided to quit porn altogether, and to stop masturbating until my dick comes alive again, because I've got plenty of flatlines with girls I made out, to the point I remain a virgin at 25 years old. I really don't care that much about it, because it's not like I didn't have the chances, it's just that my dick didn't work (I was also drunk most of the times), so all I can do now is to fix that.
I tried quitting porn before this realization, and I always failed and came back to it, I also went for straight porn and in the end I would always come back to trans like full energy in, letting out all of the frustration from refraining from watching it. I felt so good and so different while watching it, like it was not even me, and 5 seconds after cuming I would be so disappointed at myself and so disgusted at the thoughts I had while horny, but then 20 minutes later I was considering to go for it again. So that was a fucking unstable state of mind, I recon that's how a drugaddict feels...
Now, it's only day 14, but I haven't felt the urge to watch porn not even for a single day, and I am a 100% sure that I'm not going back to any kind of porn, I know the kind of man I want to be and I know that being so depends only in the decisions I make.
I guess now and then I'll finish one of those morning woods if I don't have a partner for a long time, but no more porn and no more indulging on masturbation.
You can be whoever you want. You can't be the president of your country, but you can be the guy who is working to be so (maybe never making it) or you can be the guy who is on the sofa eating Oreos (surely never making it). And even if you don't make it, you'll still make something out of it, and even if you don't, it's quite something being a working guy with a goal and determination vs being an indulging pig on the sofa. I know what I'd rather be...
You are but a choice, so choose wisely.