115 days of No Porn. Still can´t go on hard mode

Hello strugglers! I wanted to share with you this little trophey of almost 4 months I have been abstaining from porn. I am a 32 years old man that has been consuming porn since the age of 15. I don´t remember one sexual relationship where I could manage to have a full erection. I discovered NOFAP two years ago but I lasted a while to fully understand the damage that PORN was doing in my life. I also have depression since I was 14 years old and I have been taking psychotropic drugs prescribed by my psychiatrist since that age too. The last year I consulted several doctors about my erectyle disfunction problem. They made me a test of testosterone, and changed my medication but nothing seemed to work out the issue. That was when I started reading and watching videos about PIED and how porn created that addiction. As I am a catholic believer I have also moral regrets regardind masturbation an porn and I have always confessed about the same problem without having the power to manage it. On november 1rst, 2020 I decided that was enough and I had to change. I set the timer and I haven´t consumed Porn since that date. Unfortunately I haven´t been so succesful with the hard mode. I really try not to masturbate but the longest I lasted were 31 days. Then every two weeks I feel intense urges to masturbate. Even though I haven´t watched porn I do find myself watching pictures of girls on instagram or looking for them with the purpose of turning me on. As a last resource I have unfollowed all of the girls on IG as well as in Facebook in order to not fall into temptation. Sometimes I miss Porn but I feel proud everytime I remember my decision of leaving it at all.
I really don´t know if I am goiing to cure my PIED only with abstaining from watching porn (what do you guys think?) but I would like to know how your journey has been. Have you also struggled escalatedly or you just went for the Hard Mode at once? I could really use your examples or advices to leave masturbation too, it is something that makes me feel more depressive everytime I fall.
Well that´s been all for now, I think more than ever that this a daily fight, one day at the time and that it is important not to feel down when we relapse. I have set my goal into hard mode five days ago so wish me luck!
If you have any questions feel free to ask! I will reply as soon as possible
Greetings
(I am sorry about my english, it is my second language.)

 

Strong will power, that is what I need and I will try to reach my friend. The tip about the cold showers is what I was looking for. Thank you very much for replying!!!!

 

In my case to pull it off with normal mode I visualized my entire life being destroyed by porn and I felt really bad about the idea of something enslavering me (even when I think that I have other problems such as procrastination or food addiction). I really think that if I could leave porn for these months you will be able too. After all we are men and this is not an enemy we can't defeat because others could do it in the past. I wish you the best will power to manage our issue. As you said, now it is hard mode

 

Congratulations on your time struggling. I imagined I was going to be able to pull it off at once but now I see that this is a long run race and I we are here to fight until we succeed. Have you managed to stay out of porn on normal mode? 9 weeks is a good streak, I hope to reach it soon. Have you noticed any improvements in these two years? For example: PIED got better? Thank you for replying!