12 days sober, so whats next.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Faprick, Apr 22, 2018.

  1. Faprick

    Faprick Fapstronaut

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    So im 12 days sober today without any pmo. I can already tell a difference in my confidence and being able to look people in the eyes better during a conversation. It feels good. Any ideas to get me a little more active? I work, and in my free time i really enjoy golfing but what do you guys do to keep yourselves and mind off of pmo?
     
  2. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Here's a list of productive stuff I've been replacing PMO with:
    • Cooking nice, healthy meals
    • practicing a musical instrument (if you're not into music, then drawing, writing, or some other creative skill works)
    • Meditation
    • Cardiovascular activity (bike riding, running, jumping jacks, anything that gets your heart pumping. Golf doesn't really do that for me, but I still think golf is great for other reasons)
    • Call friends and family more often just to say hi. Ask what's going on in their lives. It makes them feel good and it brings you closer to them.
    • Write in a journal. It gets the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. It's especially helpful to write about PMO. The journal should be for your eyes only. It's important to have space for your own thoughts to run free without judgment. It might be helpful to have a journal on this forum as well (many people do), and it can help you get feedback on your recovery, but I personally have an easier time being honest with myself when I know nobody else will be reading my writing.
    • I program computers (for you, this might take the form of any sort of personal project. Just make something useful for yourself. It's a great experience, and it's important to practice your skills)
    • Join social groups where you meet up in person. This might be a chess club, a reading group, an intramural sports team at your local rec center, a writer's feedback group, or anything like that. I joined a local software developer's group, and it's been awesome for me.
    • Take lots of walks. This helps me clear my head, and it's pretty similar to meditation for me personally.
    That's all I can think of for now. I hope it's given you some good ideas :)
     
  3. Faprick

    Faprick Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all of that. Im really gonna give running and walks a good try cause im to trying to exercise more. I really appreciate that!
     
  4. Nekkhamma

    Nekkhamma Fapstronaut

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    Pretty much ditto on all of that, good luck!
     
  5. Nice long walks with my music, sitting out in the sun, yoga, binaural beats meditation, reading a good book, emailing friends, watching favorite videos on YouTube, etc. For me, going to bed between 10 pm and midnight, depending on the work schedule, helps stabilize moods and prevents sleep deprivation.
     
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  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    what's next? You should ask yourself this question after 90 days, not after only 12.
     
  7. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    I don't think that's a very constructive comment. I think that 90 days is a great goal to set for yourself, and I believe that 90 days is a true landmark in one's recovery. In a way, 90 days is a new beginning. However, just because OP isn't there yet doesn't mean he can't ask for advice on what he can do to help himself get to that point. We're all here to help one another, no matter what stage of recovery we're at.
     
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  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    the real problem here is that people think to change their life with 50-60 days streaks or even less.

    Sorry but is not that easy
     
  9. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Are you denying that your life changes after 50-60 days without porn? I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you there. I've seen significant changes after only 30 days (approaching 40 now). I feel more compassionate towards myself, I feel better equipped to handle urges, and I feel more free. I generally feel better about myself and I feel proud of my choices (rather than the guilt I would usually feel when watching porn). I still think I have a long way to go in my recovery, and I think that anyone who has made it 50-60 days still has a long way to go in recovery. Still, 50-60 days is an accomplishment in itself, and it ought to be celebrated for what it is. You think there's a problem with that?
     
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  10. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    of course there is one and i tell you clear.
    i think the real goal of nofap is to fix sexual life and with it, in second place, spiritual life of a person. How many people fixed their sexual life definitely in 30 days? just a few. After more then a year i had great improvements in sexual life but i still have some sexual and spiritual issues.
     
  11. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't say fixing your sexual life is the "real goal" of NoFap. My sex life was already relatively healthy when I started NoFap. I mainly started my reboot to deal with some of the psychological effects porn has had on me. Everyone here is doing NoFap for different reasons, and I still maintain that it's possible to see significant results in just 30 days.
     
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