120 days in hardmode - results so far

[Fenix Rising]

I've completed 120 days of abstaining from sex and PMO today.
37 yo - 17 years of internet porn and compulsive-bingle masturbation addiction.

Here are my observations:

Positives:
1. Brain fog / numbness -> almost non existent
2. social anxiety -> improved (socializing a lot, flirting, dating again),
3. depression -> improved (some sadness persist, but things got a lot better)
4. self-esteem -> improved
5. becoming physically fitter
6. self-discipline -> improved
7. fatigue -> start seeing some improvement
8. mood swings -> more modest ( states of being almost euphoric one moment and depressed or/and anxious only few hours later are mostly gone),
9. morning woods -> very strong and almost every morning

Neutrals/negatives:
1. More worried about life problems and future prospects sometimes
2. PIED -> still not cured. Not getting aroused around women yet. I'd probably get a rock solid boner with a little help, but only looking at hot babe doesn't do anything for now.

Summary:
As you can see, things are improving even past 90 days of no sex/no PMO mark.

Is it worth it? Yes.
Is it hard? It was hellish in first 2 months (headaches, wild mood swings, depression, social anxiety, lack of energy, insomnia, total flatline...), but it's getting easier and easier now... Withdrawal symptoms are mostly gone and I don't get any cravings for porn or mb anymore.
Will I continue to abstain? yes -> from porn, yes -> from masturbation, maybe -> from sex

If you have any questions regarding topic don't hesitate to ask.

 

[Newdawn930]

Could you please tell me how does it feel without the brain fog?
It is one of those things that are persisting with me and keeping me crazy!
@HoplessCase101

 

[Fenix Rising]

Could you please tell me how does it feel without the brain fog?
It is one of those things that are persisting with me and keeping me crazy!
@HoplessCase101

It's hard to explain... I felt numbness like being sedated and total lack of interest in anything but porn while compulsive PMO. It's different now. Like being off mood altering drug. Not always better. I do get feeling of regret and panic sometimes because of all missed opportunities in "past" life, but also see habits that were or are still hurting me more clearly and try to start resolving them.

 

[emarcus11]

Hey man really appreciate the insight on your story . I’m currently on day 6 of my journey . Recently relapsed on day 32 because the flatline was deestating . What helped you most manage the flatline stage ?

 

[Fenix Rising]

Hey man really appreciate the insight on your story . I’m currently on day 6 of my journey . Recently relapsed on day 32 because the flatline was deestating . What helped you most manage the flatline stage ?

I didn't pay any attention to flatline. I got a bit worried nearing 3 months and still being in total flatline, but what could I do, mb or seek sex just to see if my tool is still working? The only proactive thing I did was daily exercise routine, being running, cycling or weight lifting. Nothing else. I don't believe in accountability partners, web filters etc. It all comes down to you and your willpower to resist cravings. If you're prepared to suffer big time during reboot, it's not that hard when "all hell breaks loose" - headaches, wild mood swings, depression, social anxiety, lack of energy, insomnia, total flatline...

 

[Deleted Account]

Hey congrats on your great streak.

1. More worried about life problems and future prospects sometimes

Regarding that point: Couldn't it be that you might be under stress or too much pressure lately? I mean, something must cause that state of mind, right? Do you journal and/or meditate to "fight" the worries?

 

[Stone_Richie]

Bravo brother, Bravo.

Thats inspiring stuff, the most ive done so far is 9 days but im hoping to put a 0 next to that 9.

Im doing hard mode as well.

I felt the benefits even after 9 days but it all went to shit when i fapped.

I'm going for it this time, my dick will not defeat me! its just a stupid organ for fucks sake.

 

[Deleted Account]

NIce to read that you have had succes so far, i will follow your road and go hardmode allso, i am currently on my fourth day and i feel the benefits allready, almost no withdrawl only the first 2 days very hard

all the best man

 

[Fenix Rising]

Couldn't it be that you might be under stress or too much pressure lately? I mean, something must cause that state of mind, right? Do you journal and/or meditate to "fight" the worries?

Thanks man... Regarding the question, it's hard to answer. There is something different in the way my mind functions, while being in hardmode. I was totally numb to my problems before, not solving them, I don't give a f... attitude best describes it. I start seeing my accumulated problems from a different perspective now. Not caring about anything mindset is gone and I'm thinking how to improve my messed up life, which is "giving me" sleepless nights quite often. It's like I've stopped taking sedatives and anxiety has kicked in, which can be a good thing. I have to learn how to live satisfying life again without PMO or any substitutes. Stopping PMO is just taking first step on this journey.

 

[emarcus11]

I didn't pay any attention to flatline. I got a bit worried nearing 3 months and still being in total flatline, but what could I do, mb or seek sex just to see if my tool is still working? The only proactive thing I did was daily exercise routine, being running, cycling or weight lifting. Nothing else. I don't believe in accountability partners, web filters etc. It all comes down to you and your willpower to resist cravings. If you're prepared to suffer big time during reboot, it's not that hard when "all hell breaks loose" - headaches, wild mood swings, depression, social anxiety, lack of energy, insomnia, total flatline...

Thanks bro , appreciate that big time !

 

[Foxislander]

I've completed 120 days of abstaining from sex and PMO today.
37 yo - 17 years of internet porn and compulsive-bingle masturbation addiction.

Here are my observations:

Positives:
1. Brain fog / numbness -> almost non existent
2. social anxiety -> improved (socializing a lot, flirting, dating again),
3. depression -> improved (some sadness persist, but things got a lot better)
4. self-esteem -> improved
5. becoming physically fitter
6. self-discipline -> improved
7. fatigue -> start seeing some improvement
8. mood swings -> more modest ( states of being almost euphoric one moment and depressed or/and anxious only few hours later are mostly gone),
9. morning woods -> very strong and almost every morning

Neutrals/negatives:
1. More worried about life problems and future prospects sometimes
2. PIED -> still not cured. Not getting aroused around women yet. I'd probably get a rock solid boner with a little help, but only looking at hot babe doesn't do anything for now.

Summary:
As you can see, things are improving even past 90 days of no sex/no PMO mark.

Is it worth it? Yes.
Is it hard? It was hellish in first 2 months (headaches, wild mood swings, depression, social anxiety, lack of energy, insomnia, total flatline...), but it's getting easier and easier now... Withdrawal symptoms are mostly gone and I don't get any cravings for porn or mb anymore.
Will I continue to abstain? yes -> from porn, yes -> from masturbation, maybe -> from sex

If you have any questions regarding topic don't hesitate to ask.

I'm on a hundred twenty days journey right now too and I can't seem to get anybody else to join me I would really like to get some advice from you that would be awesome I'm having the same thing where I'll cycle through things I'm on day 35 today of 120 need and my wife are both doing it together and I think that's going to really help at the same time you said it can go up to 2 months should I be not sleeping in the same bed with my wife cuz I'm telling you I'm super super tempted maybe for at least the rest of this month whatever up until the second month what's your opinion I'm willing to do that because I'm getting too touchy grabby with her and I'm really kind of wanting it and that's a boundary for her is we only hold hands we like Kiss And we hug that's it nothing else beyond that no nudity boundaries which were good cuz she needs to stand up for him but we're doing it together so I'm wondering I've slept the last two nights out last week I slept for nights out because of doing some inappropriate things and I'm wondering if I shouldn't do that again until for another 25 days until the second month is over let me know cuz I I'd really appreciate some it some feedback on that kind of important cuz I don't want to keep on slipping and that I haven't done anything it's all pmo free 100% so far still getting wood so getting cravings but maybe I'd like to go away for awhile to get a clear perspective

 

[Foxislander]

Hey man really appreciate the insight on your story . I’m currently on day 6 of my journey . Recently relapsed on day 32 because the flatline was deestating . What helped you most manage the flatline stage ?

What the heck is Flatline could you please elaborate I depreciate cuz I'm at Dave 35 and I've got a little bit of concern so I'm trying to go to 120 myself well me and my wife are going to 120 ourselves

 

[BruceD]

NIce to read that you have had succes so far, i will follow your road and go hardmode allso, i am currently on my fourth day and i feel the benefits allready, almost no withdrawl only the first 2 days very hard

all the best man

The water slide analogy is one of the best I've heard! Thank you!

 

[Deleted Account]

I've completed 120 days of abstaining from sex and PMO today.
37 yo - 17 years of internet porn and compulsive-bingle masturbation addiction.

Here are my observations:

Positives:
1. Brain fog / numbness -> almost non existent
2. social anxiety -> improved (socializing a lot, flirting, dating again),
3. depression -> improved (some sadness persist, but things got a lot better)
4. self-esteem -> improved
5. becoming physically fitter
6. self-discipline -> improved
7. fatigue -> start seeing some improvement
8. mood swings -> more modest ( states of being almost euphoric one moment and depressed or/and anxious only few hours later are mostly gone),
9. morning woods -> very strong and almost every morning

Neutrals/negatives:
1. More worried about life problems and future prospects sometimes
2. PIED -> still not cured. Not getting aroused around women yet. I'd probably get a rock solid boner with a little help, but only looking at hot babe doesn't do anything for now.

Summary:
As you can see, things are improving even past 90 days of no sex/no PMO mark.

Is it worth it? Yes.
Is it hard? It was hellish in first 2 months (headaches, wild mood swings, depression, social anxiety, lack of energy, insomnia, total flatline...), but it's getting easier and easier now... Withdrawal symptoms are mostly gone and I don't get any cravings for porn or mb anymore.
Will I continue to abstain? yes -> from porn, yes -> from masturbation, maybe -> from sex

If you have any questions regarding topic don't hesitate to ask.

did you make any dietary changes ?

 

[James0224]

Congratulations on 120 days! That is amazing! Well done!

 

[Duellant]

I've completed 120 days of abstaining from sex and PMO today.
37 yo - 17 years of internet porn and compulsive-bingle masturbation addiction.

Here are my observations:

Positives:
1. Brain fog / numbness -> almost non existent
2. social anxiety -> improved (socializing a lot, flirting, dating again),
3. depression -> improved (some sadness persist, but things got a lot better)
4. self-esteem -> improved
5. becoming physically fitter
6. self-discipline -> improved
7. fatigue -> start seeing some improvement
8. mood swings -> more modest ( states of being almost euphoric one moment and depressed or/and anxious only few hours later are mostly gone),
9. morning woods -> very strong and almost every morning

Neutrals/negatives:
1. More worried about life problems and future prospects sometimes
2. PIED -> still not cured. Not getting aroused around women yet. I'd probably get a rock solid boner with a little help, but only looking at hot babe doesn't do anything for now.

Summary:
As you can see, things are improving even past 90 days of no sex/no PMO mark.

Is it worth it? Yes.
Is it hard? It was hellish in first 2 months (headaches, wild mood swings, depression, social anxiety, lack of energy, insomnia, total flatline...), but it's getting easier and easier now... Withdrawal symptoms are mostly gone and I don't get any cravings for porn or mb anymore.
Will I continue to abstain? yes -> from porn, yes -> from masturbation, maybe -> from sex

If you have any questions regarding topic don't hesitate to ask.

HUUGE! But these are also effects from your changed lifestyle, not ONLY from abstaining from P / M / O, am I correct?

Thank you to show that it's possible to stay on Hard Mode on such a long time. For myself Hard Mode is the one and only way atm to beat my addiction. And I am a 100% commited. It's going well atm but I'm a little scary of that unforseeable trigger-moment where maybe my "program" will start running on its own and I can't do nothing about it. Probably I CAN do something about it as long as I really want to. But I'm just not sure of that.
So my question to you is, do you have an advice for me, how to handle this fear or what to do about it?

 

[Foxislander]

Thanks man... Regarding the question, it's hard to answer. There is something different in the way my mind functions, while being in hardmode. I was totally numb to my problems before, not solving them, I don't give a f... attitude best describes it. I start seeing my accumulated problems from a different perspective now. Not caring about anything mindset is gone and I'm thinking how to improve my messed up life, which is "giving me" sleepless nights quite often. It's like I've stopped taking sedatives and anxiety has kicked in, which can be a good thing. I have to learn how to live satisfying life again without PMO or any substitutes. Stopping PMO is just taking first step on this journey.

So what's the difference between hard mode and not hard mode for instance I'm not doing p.m. or o and I have a wife living at home and she's like right there and she's smoking hot she's doing it with me 39 feel like I'm back on day 17 or 18 I have had zero I mean I've had hard-ons but still have not fapped and I'm not going to fap I've had some wet dreams but still have no stopped so I'm thinking I might be doing hard mode but just thinking it's just regular mode so let me know I might have to change my whole thing to our boat cuz I'm 39 days in hitting the big four-oh tomorrow tomorrow

 

[Duellant]

Who said hard mode has to be without sex? If you're in a relationship and sex is important for your wife / your relationship better don't quit it. Also it's not your partners fault that you need to reboot.
Also for virgins and people with problems to get sex at all: do you really expect them to they turn every offer down when they're rebooting?

Well there may be cases when it's better to abstain from sex. But it's not a great accomplishment when you manage to have no sex. I mean it can be one, but there has to be a good reason for it. You don't abstain from sex just to do a hard mode streak on nofap, right?

Of course if giving up sex for a while is the only way you can recover: go for it. It's your life.

 

[Foxislander]

Who said hard mode has to be without sex? If you're in a relationship and sex is important for your wife / your relationship better don't quit it. Also it's not your partners fault that you need to reboot.
Also for virgins and people with problems to get sex at all: do you really expect them to they turn every offer down when they're rebooting?

Well there may be cases when it's better to abstain from sex. But it's not a great accomplishment when you manage to have no sex. I mean it can be one, but there has to be a good reason for it. You don't abstain from sex just to do a hard mode streak on nofap, right?

Of course if giving up sex for a while is the only way you can recover: go for it. It's your life.

You got zero days in your bragging all all this BS why don't you come back and talk to me when you got almost 40 days of no pmo okay? Let's see what kind of questions come out of your head then okay?

 

[Foxislander]

Who said hard mode has to be without sex? If you're in a relationship and sex is important for your wife / your relationship better don't quit it. Also it's not your partners fault that you need to reboot.
Also for virgins and people with problems to get sex at all: do you really expect them to they turn every offer down when they're rebooting?

Well there may be cases when it's better to abstain from sex. But it's not a great accomplishment when you manage to have no sex. I mean it can be one, but there has to be a good reason for it. You don't abstain from sex just to do a hard mode streak on nofap, right?

Of course if giving up sex for a while is the only way you can recover: go for it. It's your life.

By the way if you knew my story both me and my wife are doing this together to rekindle our intimacy we are going to sleep in separate rooms until we can contain each other and we're doing really good we've been married for 33 years and we're doing this to rekindle our romance in our relationship I objectify her for a while she didn't put up boundaries she's not putting up boundaries with your great and it's altering me and making me a better man is there a reason why you're doing this?