130 days PMO free: Why we do this

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Sailor93, Mar 30, 2017.

  1. Sailor93

    Sailor93 Fapstronaut

    Hey everybody,

    My background: I’m 23 yo, still a virgin, and I work as an officer on a cargo ship. I work contracts of 3 months on board, followed by 2 months of vacation. I love my job, but from December till March, rather than sailing with my ship, I had a contract where I had to lay at anchor with the ship in a bay in China without work, without any way of going off the ship, and unfriendly, asocial, idiotic colleagues. I used to fap about one or two times a day.

    I started the PMO challenge at the end of November, because I was sick of all of it. I was sick of watching girls on my screen, without ever approaching, meeting, dating or touching a girl in real life. I was getting sick of all these abstractions that you see every day on your screens, without ever experiencing it yourself in real life. I started to feel that all this fapping did not give my body and mind the tendency/urge to pursue girls in real life.

    I am sailing now for 1,5 year. Every time I was about to go home, I promised myself that: ‘this vacation, I WILL find myself a girlfriend’. 2 months later, I went on board again, still lonely, still with my dick in my hand. Until last vacation.

    In November I started my hard-mode PMO challenge. 20 days later, I went on board my ship (half December). In my last weekend at home, I started feeling the ‘superpowers’ described here. In my crossfit gym, I saw some girls watching me, in the supermarket too, and then the next day also in the airport. Then I went on board the ship with 14 other men, goodbye superpowers!

    I could tell you about the ups and downs I have had while doing this challenge, but it’s so different for each of us that I think it’s not really useful. But I want to share with you one experience which, as I see it now, is the reason why we do this. This experience happened around day 50.

    I came back from work on deck and went in the change room to pull of my coverall and wash my hands. I checked my face in the mirror to see if it was dirty, as I always do. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see that same, loser guy that I always see in the mirror. I saw a man, a real man. I had lost a few kilo’s of weight on board, so I looked a little bit sharper in the face, I was at day 50 of NoFap, I was a man who didn’t fap, who could control himself, my shoulders were wide from training, and I was doing real, manly work. I think I looked at myself for 20 seconds before I looked away. From that moment, I felt a self-confidence inside me that hasn’t left me since. This is not the exterior self-confidence that you get from woman checking you out like I had in my last weekend at home. This was a self-confidence that came from within. From that day on, a lot of things changed. When I had an argument or discussion with somebody, I didn’t shy away from saying my opinion and sticking with it. When somebody tried to use me for his personal gain or because he was lazy, I went against that guy. I started to give backfire to people. I used to keep quiet, to shut my mouth, even when I knew that I was right. But from that day, that was finished and I am damn proud of it. Since that day I feel like a man, and stopped feeling as a boy. That is my greatest accomplishment of NoFap.

    In the last days before I went home (day 110), I felt at peace. I completed the challenge, I was going home, I had lost weight, I trained 5 times a week even though I worked 70+ hours a week. Life was good. When I got home, I was so happy, and immediately started training in my crossfit gym again, I hit PR after PR. I started playing guitar again and just love the process of playing, I enjoy the journey towards achieving mastery of guitar playing, and don’t care too much about how long that will take.

    Yet, It’s not all going as planned, and that’s why I have written this post. Since I am home, I have visited friends who have been together for 4 years, family a few years older than me who got their first child, my sister who has bought her first house with her boyfriend, etc. And here I am, still on my own. I have a fantastic and full life, but I still miss the love of a girlfriend. Tonight I am going to a party, and there will definitely be plenty of girls. The last few days, there has been a lot of tension building up inside of me, expectations, nerves. I have told myself for 3 months: ‘If I can take a cold shower, I can also approach a girl’. Tonight will be my first test of that. The last few days, this feeling of inner peace is gone, and I start feeling anxious. I see all these people around me, already many steps ahead of me in terms of relationships, and I still have to experience my first time. Like I have to rush or I will miss out!

    That’s why I have written this post, because I know that I am wrong. There is no haste, there is no rush, for Christ sake, I am only 23 yo, I still have all the time of the world! I have an amazing and very full life, with a lot of real life experiences. I once read a post on this forum that said the following: ‘Maybe you won’t meet that girl today, or tomorrow, or even next month, but the more you get out into the open and work on yourself, the more chances you will have to meet someone new.’ That’s what I try tell myself the last few days, to have patience, and take the opportunities when they arise. I have written this post to tell myself what I have already accomplished in the last 4 months, and I am starting to feel proud and confident again while writing this.

    NoFap is an amazing challenge, and not a lot of people succeed in it, I hope you will be one of them.

  2. esforzado

    esforzado Fapstronaut

    A beautiful story!
    220woof671, PeterBE, Surprise and 3 others like this.
  3. PieLover

    PieLover Fapstronaut

    Wow! Your story is truly an inspiration for patience and self control. I salute you my friend. In my opinion, you're on the right path. At the moment, don't worry about girls, just keep gaining more confidence and you will see that one day, you will have no problem approaching them. Just keep trying, it's okay to fail but it's not okay to quit.
    130 Days is something to be proud of!
  4. RetroMike

    RetroMike Fapstronaut

    Awesome post @Sailor93 ! Keep fighting the good fight! Don't beat yourself up about not having a girlfriend at the moment. The right one will come to you in time. Focus on yourself improvement and whatever you want in life will chase after you! Stay strong.
  5. Hi @Sailor93 Keep up the good work :) You are an inspiration. Wonderful story.
  6. esforzado

    esforzado Fapstronaut

    Sailor, just to remind you that girls don´t bite! And as eager you are for having a girl, they are eager and anxious to have a man. Only they don´t show it.
  7. thegreek

    thegreek Fapstronaut

    Awesome stuff, and very well written!
  8. Tested

    Tested Fapstronaut

    Hope you can continue and build on your excellent foundation and achieve total freedom from addiction. Don't rush it, in time the right one will come along, there is no rush, no race. However, your life-style might seriously upset a GF, you are around for 2 months, away for 3 and repeat. That is a hard equation to deal with in my mind. I would honestly say, if you want a long term relationship, give a lot of thought to finding a non sailing job.
  9. Present Kid

    Present Kid Fapstronaut

    Congrats my brother.

    I too struggled with approaching womend and still get nervous at times. I have become better in social interaction's because I just stop giving a fuck what people think about me. Most of the time you will never see those girls ever again.
    I just know that rejection is still better than regret.
  10. Sailor93

    Sailor93 Fapstronaut

    Thank you sooo much for your comments, they mean a lot to me!
  11. Sanny J

    Sanny J New Fapstronaut

    I am definitely sure you are aware of the immense progress you are seeing on yourself because of the discipline to NoFap. As you continue to grow in self confidence and realisation, you will notice that you are becoming a man of your words; and you are certain that you will achieve your goals regardless of circumstances. The people around you might have prioritised relationships and other milestones which seemed to you "a step ahead". But your story, and your ability to share the story itself, is a big milestone for those of us learning from a young man in the making. I am 33 years old and had been to a number of relationships. I was not wise enough to see the need to working on myself and developing a solid identity back then. So I am paying for it now. Continue doing you, and you will start to meet people of your level & quality.

    Thank you for inspiring us
    Sailor93 likes this.
  12. Sailor93

    Sailor93 Fapstronaut

    Thanks Sanny, your words mean a lot to me, It's never too late to stop this addiction.
  13. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

    This is an awesome Story. I wish you the best in staying strong and getting a girlfriend. The more success stories i read, the Mord confident i get myself in reaching my destination.
    GeorgeJetson, vibemaker and Sailor93 like this.
  14. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    Beautiful post! Very inspiring & well written. Would be nice to hear more of your stories!

    Stay free! :)
    Ghost_Rider and Sailor93 like this.
  15. Ghost_Rider

    Ghost_Rider Fapstronaut

    Best of luck bro and congrats :).
    Sailor93 likes this.
  16. Andreaw

    Andreaw Fapstronaut

    You're a big, brother! Keep it up
  17. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

    Did you stop masturbation entirely or just pornography?
    I am asking because although I stopped entirely pornography 4 months ago and never relapsed I could not stop masturbation and watching nude pictures.

    As your your age, be proud. You are 23 and you already have a good job, working in the navy. You are an achiever.
    Deep inside, women like and prefer guys like you.
    You can use the time when you are on a ship to build even more confidence, strength and inner power.
  18. Beefcake

    Beefcake Fapstronaut

    Bookmarking this shit. Absolutely inspirational.
    PeterBE likes this.
  19. D. Jigen

    D. Jigen Fapstronaut

    That's the kind of story i like to read. Thank you for sharing and for you kind words. Let's do it !
  20. Seawolfee

    Seawolfee Fapstronaut

    Greetings sailor!
    Nice to meet someone who works on board and face same problems! Yeah beeing on board is difficult. My crew was fap/porn addicted and they saw nothing wrong with PMO. It was hard time for me but i manager more then 100 days on board without P. Now i am doing hard mode. It is hard sometimes, but prize is worth all the pain. I expirienced some superpowers... but i think i always had them, but PMO rok them from me. Few days left for me to 90, but i know that after i hit 90 days i will carry on! If God will help me, i will never go back to PMO again!

    Good luck bro and happy boating!

    PS: Nice quote for you from polish Cpt Leduchowski „Every drift is bad for vessel without destination”

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