135 days in - life completely changed

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Thanx, Nov 6, 2017.

  1. Thanx

    Thanx Fapstronaut

    I was very happy and outgoing as a kid. I never knew what went wrong at the age of 12-13. I started to be quiet, unhappy and numbed. I was like this all the way until a few months ago. My personality changed at the same time I discovered fapping and I had been doing it every day since that.

    I've gone 135 days porn free with a few softcore relapses.

    First let's talk about my only porn relapse. I went into a trance that I had never ever experienced and just could not stop. I watched my hardcore fetish porn that I've been watching every day for years.

    My brain got into a total tilt and I felt so high that I never felt like this. I thought only drugs can affect you like this. I could not sleep all night after relapsing having suicidal thoughts and huge anxiety (never had this before). What I learned from this is that I was very deep into that shit not to get this kind of symptons before. I obviously had rebooted.

    So now about the benefits:

    - Depression cured - I feel like a kid again: I always used to wonder why people wanted to have hobbies, go for a walk, go to the gym, look for a partner. It was all nonsense to me and I NEVER had good days.

    I thought I was not depressed but introverted and clever. That's some complete bullshit. Introvertion seems to be caused by numbed pleasure response, not how you naturally are. I am no longer introverted - socializing actually feels awesome.

    - Social anxiety cured

    When I was at day 5-7 on my journey, I noticed something that just never happened before. I no longer got adrenaline rush when talking to people. I no longer was mumbling. It was no more difficult to have eye contact. Magic had happened overnight.

    As mentioned above, social confidence and desire to socialize go hand in hand. So I actually did not even need this benefit until now, because I never ever felt like socializing.

    - Heightened senses

    I noticed something very strange after a while on NoFap - colors looked brighter and more beautiful. Soon I realized that all my senses were heightened and that PMO does not only numb feelings but also your senses.

    In the past everything looked black and white and I was all the time in my own head not noticing what happened around me. I was walking around like a numbed robot not feeling or sensing anything.

    Now I can really enjoy the little things in life. Things smell better, food tastes better and music sounds so much better than before.

    I feel like a kid again. It's hard to describe but I had no idea how you really could lose your ability to enjoy everyday activities by just doing PMO.

    - I started to smile

    My mom said she never seen me smiling since I was 13 years old and now she is wondering how I am smiling all the time. I did not tell her about nofap. Honestly, I never smiled before. I just could not. I don't know why. I never had free and geniune laughs until I was drunk.
    Now I have a problem of smiling too much in the public. I sometimes have to pull my phone in order to pretend like as if I was seeing something funny on the screen.

    - I have the ultimate motivation to get things done:

    Any amount of work was too much for me in the past. I just could not understand how people would have enough self disclipine to get things done and how on earth they had the motivation to wake up early every morning.

    I was struggling badly with studies as I lacked motivation. I could never concentrate well. I would have that horrible thing called brain fog.

    Now it is different. I have the ultimate motivation and self disclipine to get things done in time and I feel rewarded when working hard. I can focus like never before.

    - No more struggles with other addictions

    I have had serious problems with alcohol use. I was drinking only once a week but I would every time drink until I blackout. I had absolutely no control, just severe urges to drink more and more.

    I constantly thought that it is alcohol that makes me depressed. I believed I just had bad genes with alcohol so I could not use it in moderate. I was constantly trying to give up alcohol for a month but I was never able to be sober for more than 3 weeks.

    Every time, even when drinking with friends, I would drink alone. Socializing was just an excuse to drink so much that I could black out once again.

    What happened quickly after quitting porn was magical: no more urges to drink. What was brilliant is that I quickly found out that I could actually be a social drinker, enjoy the conversation and drink slowly. I no longer have the urge to be drunk.

    I also got rid of the fast food addiction. I got rid of the internet addiction. The awesome thing is that overcoming the addictions required no effort. It just happened naturally as porn was the primary addiction of all and by quitting it I became sensitized to dopamine.

    So basically back the days when I PMOed everyday, I was desperately trying to seperately fight each of my addiction and problem but nothing ever worked. The problem was that I was constantly having low dopamine due to heavy PMO use so that I would compusively seek for all dopamine rising activities.

    I believed that I had lost the genetic lottery by being a numbed, depressed introvert who also had the alcoholic genes. Nothing seemed to work for me. Now I understand that all addictions are connected and if you get rid of the primary addiction, you have already won all of them.

    It's unbelievable how I never could see what the problem really was. It's sad how I wasted my youth. But there's hope for tomorrow.
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2017
  2. That's freaking amazing for you man! It reminds me of my 42 day streak 4 years ago where I kinda felt the same way as you do today but god I can't imagine how it's like after 120+ days! I too was a happy kid. Then, everything changed.

    Again, thanks for your testimony!
  3. Skeptic25

    Skeptic25 Fapstronaut

    Wow thank you for posting this. A lot rings true to my experience. I hadn't thought about the fact that all my addictions might spring from a constant porn-induced dopamine deficit. This gives me extra motivation to fight this addiction especially hard!
  4. Hassun adam

    Hassun adam New Fapstronaut

    I relapsed on day 135 but I'm going again.
    sakeen, Uphillfighter22 and Immature like this.
  5. Hassun adam

    Hassun adam New Fapstronaut

  6. Nofababdo

    Nofababdo Fapstronaut

    Good for you man. I can relate so much to this. I'm about to reach my 90 day goal but I'm starting to feel urges again. We just gotta stay strong through this brother. Thank you for the inspiration!
  7. theoptimist

    theoptimist Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the story. It shows how much strong you are.
  8. Robbiebob

    Robbiebob Fapstronaut

    Your a inspiration... & wow... What a read,. Keep up the good work... & yes it can be done, & your proof of that...
    sakeen likes this.
  9. Thank you for posting this. This is amazing progress and gives me hope, allthough I am seeing some of these improvoments such as yourself. But it's going slower for me. One day though, one day I am gonna get so far. So happy for you
    Whapz and Tonytone like this.
  10. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    amazing, you went from an instant gratification robot to an actual player in life.

    Whapz, JPizzle1, sakeen and 2 others like this.
  11. SkyFallBack

    SkyFallBack Fapstronaut

    keep going man! You will be alright in a few days. Don't get bitten up for that this is a long journey.
  12. Harry Maclad

    Harry Maclad Fapstronaut

    This post was really inspiring! Congrats!
    ShyMonk555 likes this.
  13. ShyMonk555

    ShyMonk555 Fapstronaut

    Dont worry bro you got this hang in there!! Just don't lose in front of your urges accept them its natural be like ' Yeah fucker i got this you ain't messing with me i have been there done that now i am going to explore the beautiful side of noFap. Its going to get better each day you give me motivation to reach my 90 day mark! Cheers
  14. Tucker

    Tucker New Fapstronaut

    That is awesome dude congrats!
  15. The Coyote

    The Coyote Fapstronaut

    This post is great. I've always had an addictive personality. Main vice being cocaine unfortunately but got in a hole last year and ended up with a tolerance that was extortionate to maintain. Couldn't figure it out at all cuz did it for years and never had it go up. Then I found out about nofap and went cold. When I was high I'd sit for hours just fapping and fapping and fapping to see how intense I could go etc. Funnily enough after one weekend binge thats when my depression got 10 times worse. Started getting numbness all over head and body. Tolerance got to a ridiculous level. Makes sense now that blowing out your frontal lobes constantly with fapping etc will of course elevate your other addictions. Need to get this sorted like...
    Reborn16 likes this.
  16. Fascinating how ditching PMO got rid of other addictive issues. I'm very surprised that OP went from blackout drinking to social drinking. The conventional wisdom is that it's impossible - but given what we're learning about addiction, who knows?
    Reborn16 likes this.
  17. The Coyote

    The Coyote Fapstronaut

    To me it makes perfect sense for cocaine as the drug itself is not physically addictive (despite what many say, the drug itself is not addictive. It's the dopamine the brain gets hooked on). So if you blast dopamine through ur frontal lobes at stupid rates, any dopamine related activity will surely require more of the substance etc to achieve the same effect. Tolerance for dopamine will affect it all.
    Immature likes this.
  18. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut


    I fucking loved what I read! Thank you for taking time to share! You're a fucking legend dude! Keep it going! Godspeed to all of us!
    Whapz and Reborn16 like this.
  19. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

    Hi Hassun! I am very interested to know about your Streak!
    What got you going through the streak? what activities have you did for keeping that dopamine gng? Were you not depressed before starting on the nofap journey?
  20. Sorry to hear it, but glad you are back. I don't have a lot of tips to offer, I'm a noob myself.

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