Day 9/14. I find each time that I am successful in this, is when I have my "why" very clear. All the times I made a somewhat decent streak are when I was actually so grateful to not feel like crap in the PMO loop, to feel clean and to know that it is absolutely not worth it, also in these times I experience little urges as I think my mind is absolutely clear I don't want to go back, very little hesitation. I pray it'll stay that way and that I'll remain sharp. No urges today as I was pretty busy, I wasn't able to eat as I planned to, tomorrow I will. It's good to not feel pathetic.
Day 10/14, Double-digit! Thank God. I feel like I should start meditating more, this helps so much with awareness and mindfulness. This morning I dreamt I was on a porn site and was freaking out and closed the site, then I woke up and realized that was a dream I was so relieved lol. I sometimes get these disgusting porn images in my sleep, I hate it so much, but it rarely happens and will probably occur less and less hopefully. Read a quote I liked today: "Be as you wish to seem" - Socrates To me it's all about respecting myself and feeling good about who I am.
2/14. I do ok-ly today. I will take a nap and then i'll start reviewing my studies. Hope you guys doing great
Day 0. I went on autopilot. This relapse was very avoidable and I feel really bad about it. Nothing to do but try again.
Day 11/14 This morning I got porn images again in my dreams. I think it happens when I’m staying in bed too long and I’m in between sleeping and waking, I’ll try to set up the alarm a little earlier maybe that’ll help. At least I got a little reminder of why it is that I want to stay clean.
3/14. Life is a bit stress. But i will try my best. No PMO. Whatever i feel, i will not use PMO. Stay strong everyone
