Day 6 over now, urges are Still coming, but I am not going to give my brain the pleasure it wants. Aiming for 1 week completion tomorrow.
What went wrong last time? Short analysis I focused very much on nofap and this Challenge, with confidence and dedication. At the same time my libido dropped and I would rather think of nofap then having sexual fantasies. I foresaw the difficulties I would face in the Christmas holiday and I prepared by taking some measures and "pumping myself up" through many posts on the forum. However I decided to use wlan at my parents place for my daily updates here, instead of priorising relapse-prevention and avoid wlan completly. So when the "perfect" scenario for relapsing came, suddenly a certain porn actress came to my mind. I did some things that could distract me and delay the relapse but it was not enough to clear the situation. I didn't make the effort to either change my mindset (go back to the dedicated resolution) or use techniques that are strong enough to make urges go away (cold shower may have been enough) BECAUSE DEEP DOWN I ALREADY MADE THE DECISION TO RELAPSE. I knew that what I was about to do was an absolutely no-go. Just not compatible with my standards of just an hour ago. I also knew that it wouldn't take much to change my situation enogh to avoid relapsing, but that would have meant that I had to exchange pleasure with pain. In such a situation what I do in my mind is this: I don't dismiss nofap completly but I have this illusion that I somehow can have it both ways: recover from porn AND relapse just a little bit. Maybe I can cheat a little with my streak ok I'll have to reset, but this is not so bad these are the kind of thoughts which are on my mind in these pre-relapse situations. Also the evergreen: I'll just have a peek. Since the pattern I'm describing here has become habitual and is part of my addiction I can't easily change it. I just think I have to find a better long-term approach to tackle this. Or a break-through. But how do you plan for a break-through?
