14 Days on Nofap Tomorrow and I really want to talk to a girl

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by YellowBlob64, Jul 29, 2021.

  1. YellowBlob64

    YellowBlob64 Fapstronaut

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    Look i get it, the title is cringy. I just feel like i’ve sort of missed out on an important state in life where Im supposed to learn the skills to talk to girls/people.

    Aside from that, I’m at 2 weeks now on NoFap!

    Now that I've been going for so long I've been having this greater and greater urge to talk to a girl, I can't explain it. Not even in a sexual way, but just for some kind of rush (I imagine something similar to an adrenaline junky would feel about doing something risky).

    But the thing is, I haven't really had a single girl-friend since primary school (Elementary School for you Americans).

    On top of that, I'm still not very skilled in social interactions with girls, let alone people I don't really know. I can't just start talking to a girl at school either because that would seem kinda, creepy, y'know?

    So I'm still socially awkward, have social anxiety and I don't really have any girl-friends or girls I know to really talk to...

    Any advice?

    Also I just want to thank everyone who has commented on my last post, you guys helped me big time, thankyou! (You know who you are)

    [EDIT] This is my last year of highschool man, I don't want to be one of those guys who doesn't talk to girls his whole life.

    [EDIT 2] Also, I'm an average build, should I try be more good looking/fitter before I talk to girls?
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2021
  2. What you are feeling is called chemistry. Go talk to her. Ask a question then watch what she does and listen to what she says. Yes you should start working out.
     
  3. YellowBlob64

    YellowBlob64 Fapstronaut

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    It's not a particular girl per say, it's any girl. Do you think it's alright to use apps like Yubo and other similar things to talk to girls?
     
    Oliver Gunter likes this.
  4. I don't know what that is. If you want to build your confidence and make an impression, walk right up in person. Your first priority is to get your own life in order and to cultivate yourself into the man you want to be. Your relationships with women have to flow out of that underlying desire, otherwise you are not likely to succeed. Congratulations on 2 weeks, that's no small feet.
     
  5. Hiijustpassinthrough

    Hiijustpassinthrough Fapstronaut

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    Hey. I have totally been there with social interaction. I can be totally awkward, especially when it comes to guys. The best advice I can give is if you see someone you like or are interested in just start up a conversation. Some ideas:
    " Hey. How are you?"
    " What do you do?" ( work wise or wanting to do).
    Usually you can just continue the conversation links from there. You could ask why they want to do that, what they find interesting about it or what got them into it. What they would ideally like to be doing. Then when you end the conversation just ask for their number.

    Also on the topic of being creepy it depends on the setting. If you ask me for my number in a dark ally I would dip but otherwise, at least from my experience, I like it when guys approach me. Most times I think girls can be just as nervous to have a guy talking to them. Its scary but were just people. In most settings girls won't think your a wacko.

    The best conversationlists aren't the ones who do all the talking like people think. Really listening is what will help you. Yes its good to contribute but a conversation needs to be back and forth. You can better answer if your in the moment really listening.

    On the topic of interacting with girls the only way to get anywhere is just give it a shot. Go say hi. Ask for socials later. Just be aware that you may get rejected and that's okay. Its better they be honest then you ending up with someone who isn't interested and would otherwise not be right for you. People have their own reasons and its often not about you.
    Pro tip: search the 5 second rule, that's what has helped me to overcome my fears.
    As a girl I can say the most attractive thing a guy can have is confidence. It doesnt really matter whether your good at conversation if you feel at ease within yourself it will make approaching a lot less stressful.
     
    LongWayToGo and determined99 like this.
  6. “14 days of NoFap and I really want to talk to a girl.”

    This means that NoFap is working. When you watch porn and masturbate, your brain is depleted of biological motivation. Your brain thinks it’s winning in life because you see hundreds of naked girls on a screen.

    Suddenly, your brain is on NoFap and your brain starts to get emotional. Your brain starts to realize that their is no girl coming in your life, so it starts to motivate itself, so you can physically achieve it.

    Porn will deprive you of the motivation and the desire to improve. The more porn you watch, the less desire you will have for real sex.
     
    Abel100% and Flyman66666 like this.
  7. Probably you'll think my thoughts are dumb, and also I'm way older than you.

    But I used to think like that about girls.
    I thought, I probably can't get one, but I'll be friends!

    Did I really want to be friends? No, it's a ruse to make approaches.
    And in a successful approach, the relapse lurks...

    The thing that every guy seems to miss is such a simple thing.
    If you build out your life and become successful, the right woman will be there.
    Don't squander your time and energy on trying to get laid right now.
    It's a total waste.

    Ask yourself if _____famous/successful/rich person_____ gets up in the morning and
    says, "Boy I wish I could talk to a girl today..."

    The answer is, spoiler alert, they don't.
     
    LongWayToGo and Buddhism Is True like this.

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