16 day poem, I am battling today, I need encouragement

I miss my friends in the chat room

I miss closing the doors
Abd shutting the blinds

I miss smoking weed endlessly and have fun with my sex organs in my hand

I miss sending messages of 'I'm a twisted
perv who wants to talk to me'

I miss being naughty
I miss risking my good name

I miss being called a perv and a twisted

I miss edging fir hours, smoking, drinking, and again on the chat room...hours and hours...
I miss closing myself from the world

I miss having a cause to feel lonely
I miss having a reason to hate myself
I miss having a reason to fir why I'm unhappy in life

I miss having a reason to hate myself
I miss having a reason for avoiding dating

I miss all that
But I want a new life
I want a life of being loved when I get home
I want to feel cosy n safe
I want to do so many other things rather than being a perv

Please please I beg my self,
Please let me have a different life
I want to explore life without the need to hide

Please please any high powers whoever whoever you are - help me try n have a different life.

 

Thankyou.
I appreciate your words.
It's been a long day, but I doing OK.

Good night
X