16 Months PMO Free, leaving a much better life

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by fercho29, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. Hello Fellow Fapstronauts:
    Last Friday was my 16th Month clean.
    I want to share with you how happy and grateful I am every month that I get farther away from the PMO nightmare.
    Every month I feel more free, and realize how stupid this addiction is.
    How can we be so driven to keep masturbating like monkeys? How must be possible that we live in such a delusion, thinking that the stupid scenes we see in porn can be real? How many times we lied to ourselves, dreaming that we are REALLy having sex with that hot girl/guy, instead of realizing that IT IS JUST OUR SWEATY, SMELLY HAND?
    I consider myself a quite intelligent guy. I succeeded in my professional career, in the academic arena, and I am proud to teach in one of the most renowned universities in the US (and the world). But nevertheless, I was a big idiot. I bought once and again the porn fantasy, the delusional dream. Although every time after my "PMO sessions" (long and repetitive sessions, 3-4 times per day EVERY DAY) I felt like an idiot, empty, sad, depressed.
    But I was trapped in that delusion. I convinced myself that that was the best way to get out of my daily problems, that it was the best way to get rid of the stress and be able to get some sleep.
    I idolized this porn scenes ad if they were gold. I spent thousand of dollar in escorts, although it was obvious they were there for the money and wanted to rush and leave as quickly as they could.
    The addiction was ingrained in my brain since I was 10 years old. 41 years spent in that delusional shit.
    But I do not want to look back and cry. I want to look to my future, knowing that since 16 months ago I started living a much better life.
    It was very hard, I suffered a lot, but the fight was 100% worth it.
    I can look to the eyes of my sons and my wife now with no shame.
    I can stand up as a real man in front of my problems and never hide again behind a computer screen.
    Fellow Fapstronauts: do not lower your arms, do not let the addiction defeat you. Fight back once and again, no matter how many times you relapse. Some days it gets super easy, and some says I still struggle with intense urges. But this is life, right? Some days are better than others. But nothing should be an excuse to relapse and get back to that shit.
  2. Congratulations!! I'm only starting on my journey and you're a real inspiration. I actually read your very first post yesterday and the difference between then and now is astonishing, you're proof that beating this horrible addiction is possible. Looking forward to your 17 month victory speech on September 12th!
  3. Thank you for your words of encouragement @JohnMatrix ! It is funny, on September 12th I will celebrate my 17th Month and my 52th Birthday! :)
  4. R1111444

    R1111444 Fapstronaut

    i need tips i telapse too much
    fercho29 likes this.
  5. createsmyownluck

    createsmyownluck Fapstronaut

    Thanks man, needed to hear this. People are successful even though its very hard. Am at a crossroads in my life between choosing the easy option and getting back together with my ex even though I have problems like PMO I need to fix, or staying single fixing my problems and finding someone who will push me to be a better person.
    fercho29 likes this.
  6. Hi @R1111444 , welcome to NoFap

    It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

    I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
    I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:


    I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

    You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:

    I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

    Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

    I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
    Let's keep on fighting

    PotentLife and im_alive like this.
  7. Hi @createsmyownluck , you will be severas times in this kind of crossroads.
    Our brain has been trained through the addiction to " get instant pleasure, although we will suffer later".
    The path to succeed is to get used to " have some pain and discomfort now, noting that this will lead to a future of happiness and eternal pleasure "
    Ask yourself where do you want to be in one year, five, ten years from now.
    Do you wa t to be the same creepy loser that have sex with his sweaty hand watching pixel chicks in a screen?
    Or you want to be a human being having meaningful relationships with real persons ?
    It is up to you, your future is in your hands ( no pun intended)
    PotentLife likes this.
  8. I was back in my hometown Buenos Aires for a week for a busier trip just by myself .
    This trips were usually the chance I had to have a binge in PMO and parties with several escorts.
    As one of you may know, my PMO addiction started when Inwas sexually abused in this city in a school restroom by three older kids when I was 10.
    The only way I had to cope with the guilt and pain was hiding behind MO first , P later and promiscuous sex with male escorts and random hook-ups even later in my life.
    I am married so I "took advantage " of every trip alone to binge on porn and sex with guys.
    I always return home feeling guilty and promising not to do it never again, but you knew how long this promise last: until the next urge .
    The memories of my home town made me feel sad and depressed, so the need to party were even stronger. Plus the comfort of being alone in a hotel room made every hook up easier.
    This time was different. After 16 month PMO free, Infekt liberated of that pain. I could even walk by the school were everything happened and not feel an oppression in my chest as before.
    I used the time I would have used for PMO and escorts to visit friends and family band have quality time.
    BTW, have you realized how much time ( and money ) we lose in all that shit? How much energy trying to get " better porn" or a nicer laid ?
    So I am leaving right now with a feeling of " mission accomplished".
    I can witness how my brain works in a different way after 16 months of rebooting. I am not in "auto pilot " any longer . I do not get those " brain fogs" that used to force me to do things that I did not enjoy, were dangerous and always need up regretting the second after.
    Guys: reboot is super hard, painful, feels like hell some days.
    But I cannot emphasize more how worth that fight is!!!
    Keep trying, live every day as if it were the last one.
    There is a better life beyond the barricade ( this I took from Les Miserables :)
    goldstein and im_alive like this.
  9. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

    Hae @fercho29,

    Do you remember me? I relapsed. I was a head of You in terms of streak. I am back again & this time I am Dead serious with this addiction. I have to kick it out. I am on Day 19 now & I promise You, I won't look back.

    Thank you so much for Your thread as it is Great Motivation. It is People like you that Make us Keep Fighting. Keep moving. Congrats for 16 months.
    goldstein, fercho29 and im_alive like this.
  10. Hi @programer , of course I remember you my friend. I am sorry that you relapsed but do not stop for one second to cry about it. Look back to all these fantastic months that you have lived PMO free. Think about how free and happy you felt . Raise your head and start fighting again. Relapsing once might feel like shit, but it is not te end of the world if you gets back to a PMO free life. I will be here to support you every time you need
    Keep on fighting
    goldstein likes this.

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