16, Socially Failing, Completely Unfulfilled

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by AA 2003, Apr 14, 2020.

  1. AA 2003

    AA 2003 New Fapstronaut

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    This is my first post here, day 5 of NoFap (longest I've ever gone) and for the past five years, all it seems I do in high school is screw up and I hate it. I never get invited to parties, everybody looks at me as the weird poser kid and I have no game. I know people say that it gets better later but I've only kissed one girl, I'm still a virgin and I barely have the energy to do all I want to do. I'm trying to work out, I'm going on NoFap and I want to make a business but it's so hard to do NoFap alongside never having girls give me the time of day and never really going out and vibing with people not because I'm shy or anything, I'm pretty extroverted, nobody really gets me and I hate it. I want to change around my life and I know NoFap isn't the be all, end all; I've started meditation and a bunch of other things but I'm wondering if it's too little too late. I'd appreciate some words of wisdom or anything, I don't know what to expect.
     
    devilsfood, Moatasem, OVandy and 2 others like this.
  2. Hello buddy.

    I was exactly the same as you when I was your age. I had my first relationship at 20.

    It's normal to have all these questions at your age. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're only 16. People your age don't even think about improving their lives. You feel like you're out of step with the others, but trust me, you're not. It's just your thoughts that are playing tricks on you!

    As I read your message, I understand that it is relationships with others that concern you the most. Especially with girls. Am I right?
    If you really want to change, Nofap, meditation and working out won't be enough. You need to understand social dynamics and how communication works.
    And to do that, you have to take action. You'll have to put yourself in social situations very regularly. Even if it hurts. Because yes, it will hurt. You'll get rejected, people will laugh at you. You will fail and fail and fail again. Until you figure out how it works. You'll feel the fear, and you'll have to take action anyway.

    It's like learning an instrument or starting a sport. You don't know how it works at first. But it's through practice, failure, perseverance that you eventually reach your goals. You'll have to get out of your comfort zone, do things other people don't do, if you really want to change. If you do nothing, nothing will change. And if you make that decision, trust me, the people you see as superior to you now won't even recognize you anymore. You'll accomplish things you thought you couldn't accomplish.

    You need to set a goal that goes beyond having results (such as having relationships with girls). You need to set a goal that's based on what you can control. and not on what's out there.

    There are many ways to become more socially comfortable. Two years ago, I took the most brutal but life changing one : Approaching attractive girls on the street.

    Good luck to you
     
    zilean, Metis07, Protagonist and 2 others like this.
  3. OVandy

    OVandy Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I'm in a similar situation. I also have problems with girls in high school ( at least you kissed a girl I haven't even made it that far) and it would be nice to have a gf but I know it's not the end of the world. I recommend being grateful because there is always people who are in worse situations than you. I have barely any friends and I'm pretty introverted but I'm still happy with life. And I believe that it's no to late to start good habits like working out or meditating because that will help a ton later in life even if it doesn't give you instant results in high school.
     
    Moatasem likes this.
  4. johnmicormick

    johnmicormick Fapstronaut

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    I feel you too man, I’m 16 as well and this quarantine shit is killing me. Though I can’t say it’s any different than normal life, but I’m trying to change. I’ve been doing this for about a year and have noticed so much change in myself, just stick with it and you’ll be straight
     
    Moatasem likes this.
  5. JasonMamoa

    JasonMamoa Fapstronaut

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    As Steven Covey says in his book , you have to work on your area of concerns. You are responsible for your self. Once you start working on yourself consistently you will see result. People will notice it too. And true validation comes from within. Not by people.
    Why you are so worried about being virgin? You have your whole life ahead of you. People remain celibate through out their life or even in mid 20s(for religious reasons or personal ones). Its not the end of the world.
    Be a Man. Not some fuck boy who craves sex and objectify women. You will be just replacing PMO with this. A man establishes his authority by conquering his own life. Study and start a business or whatever. Be productive person in society. Women (not girls) will come into your life.
    You will have a relationship that is fulfilling and productive.
     
  6. AA 2003

    AA 2003 New Fapstronaut

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    But what's the point of approaching people if I know they hate me?
     
    Moatasem likes this.

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