164 days off porn ANXIETY and DEPRESSION

Hello everyone!
Before I share my story I wanted to say that I'm new on this site, so please accept my apologies if something related to my post doesn't seem right.

I am 23 year old male and today is my 164th day since I last masturbated or watched porn. I've been a heavy user, started masturbation around 7 years old.

The beginning with porn was when I was around 10. I would do it almost every day of my life ever since after I started, often two times a day. Of course when the years passed, i slowly started having some fetishes. Slowly, without even realizing what happens, i switched to transwoman porn. Although I would watch mostly transwoman porn, i would sometimes watch even gay porn or animated porn. Sometimes it would bother me and I would ask questions, like "Why would I watch this am I gay or what is wrong with me ?". But then I would answer to myself, that I would never do something with a man or a transwoman in real life and this kind of calmed me down. However the years passed, and nothing changed, except my porn addiction was becoming deeper and deeper. When I was around 20, I realized something is not right. I would often masturbate 5 times a day, watching heavy porn with 10 tabs opened, switching with different movies. I would do it for more than an hour straight. Whenever I would try to have sex 50 % of the times I couldn't get hard and it was a big fail. These things made me question my sexuality even more.
I slowly started to realize that I don't have any desire meeting girls or even having real sex, even though I was an athlete and I always had pretty girls around me, who would love to hang out with me. I was always the cool guy in class so no one would ever say that I am a stranger masturbating like crazy every single day, to heavy porn.
The times I decided to try to have sex with a girl didn't work out - I could get or maintain erection for more than a couple of minutes and I would often blame the girls, so i can calm myself down. Then I would go back home and masturbate for hours.
This happened multiple times.
That was 3 years ago. That's when I first read, that there is a thing called PIED. I made a decision to stop porn. Things got better and I could have sex, even though my erection wouldn't be strong enough and I almost never had the chance to ejaculate. However, I never stopped masturbation, because I thought It's something natural and healthy, and we all have to do it in order to be normal. Stopping porn increased my masturbation. Of course, I never stopped the porn at all - I wouldn't watch for 2-3 months, then I would relapse a couple of times, and then stop it again for a couple of months, but I thought that's normal and "everyone watches porn from time to time."
At the age of 21 I started having the first troubles with HOCD - at that time I had no idea what is called and I didn't realize that I have any problem.I started to question my sexuality and to have intruisive thoughts that would bother me all the time. At the same time i was never attracted to males in real life, i just knew it. I was questioning my sexuality and my sexual health and performance - "Why am I fantasizing so often about transwomen, why can't I maintain and erection - maybe i am not heterosexual?.'' I even ended up experimenting to have contacts couple of times with transwomen live - we had only oral sex. I can't say I didn't enjoy it but I knew something is messed up with my mind, because I like chatting with girls and being intimate with them I never liked or was attracted to males in real life, so what's going on ?
However, I was dating several girls at that time so these things would remind me how of a man I am and that would make me feel better.
The point when I realized about how serious things are is when I met my current girlfriend, last year. I was really inlove with her and everything was going great, until we tried to have sex after the first month since we started dating. I couldn't get an erection. This happened the following couple of times too. It was like my penis was dead. I even went to a psychologist two times but didn't really help a lot. Then I started cruising and finally realized about NoFap and the big community around here.
I took the decision and stopped with porn and masturbation. I also told the whole story to my girlfriend, except the transwoman fetishes of course.
After the first 3 weeks I started experiencing better erection and I could have normal sex. After the second month everything was going good. I had no problems with erection, in fact I never had such a hard and good erection for long time ever before. HOCD dissapeared and I was feeling great. I thought that I am healed that everything is back to normal. However, after the third month I started having troubles with depression and anxiety - not really social anxiety, because In general i am a social person with lots of friends, and I have never really been shy. The PIED almost fade away, 1 out of 15 times I would have troubles with maintaining and erection, which in general is a big progress.

However I would have again these intrusive thoughts with me during the day - "you are impotent, you can't have an erection, you are gay ( I don't have a problem with gay people or being gay, but it bothers you because somehow you know it's not true), you are not going to be successfull, you will never accomplish anything in life." This voice would come all the time in my head on daily basis. Then It would fade away for a couple of days or even weeks, and as soon as I start thinking that I am finally OK it appears again. It's like my mind needs to be anxious, and when I feel calm it's like there is an alarm saying "Hey, don't be calm" and then starts again with these questions. I tried taking antidepressants, but didn't really help much.
These thoughts and the anxiety make me feel really hopeless and sad,and drain my whole energy. Sometimes I would wake up in the morning and I would be anxious and the first think that comes to my mind is an intrusive thought. Sometimes I think that this will never change. It's been already six months since I started, I thought that I will be healed and my mind will be normal, however things are still not right.
Please help!!!

Anyone having the same troubles ? Please share your experience with me, I am feeling really
Thank you in advance!!!

 

I hope it is, thank you for the support. I know there are some withdrawals in the beginning , but it's been almost six months and sometimes I feel really tired. Pray for me!!!

 

Thank you guys, appreciate the help!! Praying for all of you!